find your middle ground

Here are the steps I have discovered for myself and others, for finding our middle ground and living life in balance 💛

  • Notice! Take time to pause and be aware of the incredible gift of life that you share with others and with nature. Wake up to the little things. Wake up to  your self. Wake up to it all. This is called living mindfully. Become a keen observer.
  • Accept that life has ups and downs. Really! Some one told us when were little that life should be a breeze. This is called wishful thinking. Be grateful for the highs and graceful in the lows. This is called living life well.
  • Become present. Stop lamenting the past or worrying about tomorrow.  Living is in each moment. Now. Take a deep breath.  Then an other.  Notice you are still here… not there.
  • Get to know yourself. Take that first scary step of self discovery. Turn off the tv.  Sit for a while. Journal about what comes up. Have a meaningful conversation. Listen more to others. Listen more to yourself.
  • Let go of judgments. We think that judging others or ourselves makes us feel strong. Judgments come from fear of not being in control  and having things go our way. Our way is not the way. There is nothing wrong, so stop trying to be right. Stop comparing, criticizing  and start letting others be. Let yourself be.
  • Realize that you are not your thinking. You are the one who is aware of your thoughts. You are awareness within a physical body, with an imaginative and fearful ego-mind that creates stories. Your thinking is not the truth about who you are or the world around you.
  • Find the peace within. Beyond the next breath and the next thought there is a deep reservoir of peace waiting to be stepped into. This cool refreshing stillness has always been there and will always be there for us to access. To connect to this wondrous pool becomes our practice… whether its in mindfulness meditation, yoga, sitting in nature, or while commuting on the train,  realize that you too can find your own middle ground.

This blog is my way of helping people get their feet wet and refreshing themselves.

getting your feet wet

133 responses to “Steps to Find your Middle Ground”

  1. As usual, this is very well put. A nice reminder. Thanks

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Tisha 💛

      Like

  2. Not a list person, but this is very worthy of note! Peace!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Dennis for noting 💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kate. So glad it resonated with you 💛

      Like

  3. Excellent tips we should all implement into our lives…thanks, Val! xo

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Jill. May we all continue on the implementation and enjoy the ride 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks Val! I LOVE lists…especially the kind that beat to the rhythm of my own heart ♡ Blessitude

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Lists that beat to our hearts rhythm … sounds like the very best kind of list Lorrie!
      Thank you for this inspiration. Instead of our to-do lists, perhaps we will have to-tune-into-my-heart lists 💕

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I LOVE IT, Val!!!! Yes…a much kinder, loving list ♡

        Liked by 4 people

  5. Wonderful list! This is just the sort of thing to print out and put where we can see it everyday. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here, Val. It is so accessible and positive, not daunting or shaming as so many of these sorts of lists can be. Gotta reblog!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much Sunny! So glad it hit the spot today 💛
      Thank you for the beautiful kind re-blog 💕

      Like

  6. Reblogged this on Shielagh and commented:
    This wonderful, wise and compassionate list resonated with me. So many lists of do’s and don’t’s seem daunting or even shaming. It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with suggestions. This one is amazing! I printed a copy to put up, and I want my own followers to see it as well. I was working with someone recently who is suffering from a painful loss and realized this list might be just the thing to share. See what you think…

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Someone I love is going through a rough time. I should share this with him. Such great advice for anyone though, really. Thanks, Val. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad if it helped Jennifer! Its been my guide for some time through life’s highs and lows 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  8. That’s a very good list, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Dan. It’s a list that I aim to live by every day. 💕

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Cindy! From ideas to practice is my path 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  9. This is wonderful stuff Val. I’ve put it in my note book. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Don! I’ve posted at the top of the blog as an ongoing reminder for me too 💕

      Like

  10. Reblogged this on Merging Traffic and commented:
    A post worth reading! A blog worth following!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Dennis 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Such a lovely list, Val. Thanks for the reminders. 💕

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are most welcome Van. So glad your enjoyed it 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I love this list to live by!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So glad it works for you too Suz❣

      Like

  13. Thanks so much for sharing this, Val. It is a valuable list!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so glad you appreciated it Eliza 💛

      Like

  14. What a generous gift. Thank you Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you MK. It is a truly generous comment 💛

      Like

  15. I love your under the bridge photo! And good advice… The world especially needs to learn to let go of judgements.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Fiona for sharing here… and being here 💕

      Like

  16. Too good, thanks, keep sharing such lovely thoughts ! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Shalini for your kind words and encouragement 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  17. “Realize that you are not your thinking.” – I suppose if I could pick one thing to achieve as a practical measure from your list, that would be it. But it’s not a pick ‘n mix affair is it, Val? We have to work on many layers, and in different areas, as your list demonstrates. It will make me sound stupid (it happens a lot), but I spent several years thinking I could perceive ‘what I am’ beyond the body and beyond ideas of what I am, then I suddenly realised that if I perceived anything, it would never be anything more than a percept. Indescribable. Anyway, your list will find its way towards the top of my list of lists. Orthodox (Theravadin) Buddhists love lists; seriously, there are dozens of them in the commentaries to the Pali Canon. H ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The thinking loop is a powerful one to be attached to, isn’t it Hariod. I have a sense that the more intelligent and knowledgable we are the more the ego uses this to hide in. 😦
      I feel honoured that my t0-live list is amongst the top of other eminent ones!
      💕

      Liked by 2 people

  18. No one is perfect I so agree Val..

    Sometimes I think we are all of us pieces of art in the process of our own creations.. We all need a little renovating from time to time, as we smooth out the creases adding colour, be it bland or bright, blending and mixing to the canvas of life..

    The exciting thing is, we are all of us unique pieces of art.. each special, each to be admired and at any time we can pick up that brush and create through our own ‘reflections’

    Loved the bridge photo and the reflective water.. Val.. May I reblog your post my friend.. Others need to read your wisdom..
    Love Sue xxx ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for your kind words Sue. I like your analogy to each of us being a unique piece of art. Each of us beautiful in our own way ✨
      I would be honoured if you reposted my friend 💕

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you Val.. I will be honoured to reblog this wonderful post.. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature Avatar
    Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature

    Yes, a tune into our hearts list. Great, and a beautiful photo to join your beautiful words.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you Mary for your kind warmhearted words 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Wonderful list Val 🙂
    I use to not worry about tomorrow or challenges in the future, best possible, because I can’t change anything anyway, so why not just enjoy each day we are given.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a great attitude Irene💛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you Val, it has helped me to better live in the moment.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. Your list is a good road map. I think your point on living in the moment makes all the difference. Aging makes it easier for me. Great pictures!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. I do love lists, and this is an excellent one! Thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So glad it resonates Ann 💕

      Like

  23. Wonderful reminders, Val. It’s that simple. Lovely, serene images to go with it too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much D! It’s always lovely to see you see you 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Reblogged this on Dreamwalker's Sanctuary and commented:
    When I find something worth sharing I enjoy passing it along. Vals post ‘Steps to find your Middle Ground’ is well worth the read.. Please go and leave your comments on Vals amazing insightful blog for comments will be closed here,
    Have a wonderful weekend and see you all next week..
    Love Sue ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I truly LOVE this post, Val. Through lots of trials and tribulations, I have finally learned some of this…but still so much to “own up to”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So glad it resonated with you Helen 💛 Its living through the trials and tribulations that have helped us learn and grow. Yep – there will be more ahead for us all 💕

      Like

  26. Splashing in the biggest puddle I can find Val 🙂
    Actually I think I’ll go for a walk on the beach…now that’s a puddle 😀
    Great post, thank you for sharing very wise words 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Smiling … thank you Mark! May you enjoy all that the ocean reveals 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Such profoundly beautiful common sense. Going to share this my readers over at my place.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Paul. I always appreciate you coming over to my place with your kind words 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Many thanks Val for putting what I practice and try to pass on, so eloquently in this way of wisdom. Love, David

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you David for sharing your experience here. Keep spreading the good ness my friend 💛

      Like

  29. This is a fine list, Val, full of great reminders. I’m pleased that Sue Dreamwalker shared it so I could find it! Yes, I’m dipping my toe in as I type. ☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for coming over and dipping in Tom.
      I look forward to more connections 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  30. What a wonderful list, saving this one, thank you Val! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Julie! Glad you are saving it. Me too 💕

      Like

  31. […] I have been a follower of Val Boyco’s blog Find Your Middle Ground for some time and frequently read posts that reach out to me way beyond the words on the screen. As it was with a post published last Thursday: Steps to Find your Middle Ground. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  32. This, I swear, has been the biggest, most constant lesson in my life: “Judgments come from fear of not being in control and having things go our way. Our way is not the way. There is nothing wrong, so stop trying to be right. Stop comparing, criticizing and start letting others be. Let yourself be.” Beautiful blog by the way ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Sara for your kind words. This was a big lesson for me as well 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  33. I must have missed this post for some reason Val, but thanks to Paul Handover for re-blogging it on his own blog Learning from Dogs, it came to my attention – see, I was meant to see it!
    The list is truly inspiring and resonated with me in my own life Val. We are all a work in progress, striving to improve ourselves and getting to know ourselves better every single day. Thank you for helping me get my feet wet!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Its so good to have you here Barb! I’m glad you found this post so inspiring.
      Its easy to get disconnected on WP.
      I hope all is well in your neck of the woods 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. So glad I came across your post on Paul’s blog, it was meant to be, and shared it on FB a few moments ago; I think everyone should read it.
        Things are up and down with my hubby’s health Val, I haven’t had the time or inclination to keep up with my blog for months. Hoping things will improve! Your words of wisdom inspire me. x

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I wish him well Barb. It’s been a struggle for my hubby this year too. Sending love, light and lightness your way. 💕

          Liked by 1 person

  34. Lovely post, very well balanced, and beautiful pic!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much! Im glad it resonated with you 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  35. What a beautiful post, Val. 🙂 I don’t do too badly till I get down to the judgmental bit and then I start to lose ground. Still hope for me though. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It ain’t easy Jo. I recall judging myself for being a judger for years … And still do 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  36. Val, what an incredible list! I love it!!! Thank you for sharing. Also, I somehow hit the wrong button when I tried to reply to your comment on my blog and it got trashed and I can’t undo it! Not too technology savvy sometimes. Forgive me. If you want to recomment, I promise to watch what buttons my errant fingers hit and if you don’t want to, I understand. I just wanted to explain xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Yvonne! Errant fingers can get me in to trouble as well 😉 Then I remember to go with the flow 💛

      Like

      1. Thanks Val…I appreciated your understanding! ♥

        Liked by 2 people

  37. Exactly what I needed to read to centre and come back to myself. Thank you, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. So glad it resonated Gulara ❣

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Thanks for sharing these valuable life’s lessons, Val. Today was the first anniversary of my mom’s passing, and I’ve been trying to only think of the happy memories and not the sadness of losing her.

    Like

  39. ‘Be grateful for the highs and graceful in the lows’. How beautifully put thank you – I loved all the wisdom. Essential to get the feet wet! Have a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Susan for your kind words. Happy weekend to you 💛

      Like

  40. Wonderful post Val, this list is perfect, it contains exactly what I’m keeping my focus on. It’s always good to be reminded of what matters most.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Elizabeth. So glad it resonated with you 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  41. Very valuable thoughts in the list Val. I choose to start practicing with the third ‘Become present’.
    Thanks and regards.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Dilip for sharing here. I like your choice 💛

      Like

  42. I agree with your tips… Especially accepting that life has ups and downs ♥

    summerdaisycottage.blogspot.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you summer 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  43. love this post with wonderful list
    thanbk you for sharing
    kisses

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Voolaah 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. oh welcome dear
        kisses

        Like

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