waves of lifeOn Tuesday I had a stressful day. A dip in the highs and lows of life day. It wasn’t surprising. I had some concerning news that took the wind out of my sails, and I developed a pressure cooker of a sinus headache. I was in a trough. I know how my mind and body are connected. My body tells me quite clearly when I have to pay attention to what is happening around me and what I am feeling. The message is clear –  take care of my well being. Pause. Connect to my Self.

In hindsight it is easy to catch, but at the time it may take a bit longer to realize that we are under stress. In this particular occasion it became very clear as I went through emails and started to read updates from fellow bloggers. As I painfully squinted at the screen. I was no longer present, but my inner judge was! “What do they want? … Why bother me with this?… How stupid! How superficial!… They are so self centered!… Don’t they get it?… This is trivial! Who has time for frivolity? Pl-ease get to the point.”

My thinking revealed that Val was not present or in balance. My defensive inner teenager had been Teenage bratunleashed.

Everyone was dumb. They didn’t get it. They didn’t see how much pain I was in. They took advantage of me. They tried to control me. All the unmet needs from the past were right there demanding attention.

Our inner teenager  is challenging and requires some kindness and understanding. Its in pain – emotionally and often physically. It has so many unmet needs and is trying to figure out how to get them met as they move from childhood into independence.  It is our ego at the height of all of its immature defensive glory.

One part of me was determined to be miserable and show the world (?) that I had every right to be. Thankfully the part of me who has learned to be a compassionate observer knew that it was time to unplug. NOW!

You are stressed. Take care of yourself  and find your middle ground. Be gentle and kind. Let things be as they are.

Stones surrounded by rushing waterIt was easier after I had taken half a Sinutab and put on my favorite restorative yoga music. I embraced everything that was coming up. I noticed resistance. I breathed and didn’t push. I found my middle ground and was able to stay there. Healing tears fell softly. I meditated and lost track of time. My husband came and went and let me be. He knows better than me sometimes ❤

I began to feel better and went to watch tv to distract myself … and found I had no appetite for it at all. ZERO. I wanted to stay in solitude. I journaled instead.

The old habits of distractions, shopping, cleaning, entertainment, drinking and eating had lost their pull in that moment. By being fully present and knowing how to ride the wave and find my middle ground helped me center myself.

So I honored the request to be alone and put my teenager to bed early. I woke up as a headache free and stress free adult once more. Ready to approach the day with a sense of curiosity.

Thank you to the makers of Sinutab, yoga and meditation, journaling, my husband and friends who support and nourish me, and to those of you who read this today!

May we all find our middle ground in the waves of life.

❤ Namaste ❤


47 comments on “* Dealing with Stress and my Inner Teenager

  1. Healing Grief

    We ride the waves together Val. knowing when to stop, you balanced yourself far quicker than ignoring it. Your release sounds very nurturing and you remind us its ok to have teenager or toddler days as well!


    • Thank you Karen for your comment and being here.
      I read these wonderful words this morning…
      “Through this bareness of being, we refresh our openness and enliven our innate connection to the one living sense. “


      • Healing Grief

        Beautiful. Don’t you love it when you feel balanced again! It’s like the world responds kindly and you see everything the way it should be. X

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah yes, that irksome inner teenager! Know her well.

    I love how you describe your process of claiming the middle ground without pushing, pulling, cajoling, it into place.

    Such grace and ease in your movement.

    thanks for the reminder to take care of me in all my states of being without judgement.

    Blessings on your day.


  3. This was very well detected and reacted Val. It is not always easy to find the middle ground when life is challenging us. Thanks foe sharing your way 😉


  4. Carrie Cannady

    Oh Val, Tuesday was a challenging day for me as well. Seems the Virgo New Moon was working overtime! Such wisdom in what you offer here…finding our quiet space to listen and suspend all of the noise. Beautiful.


    • Thank you Carrie. I’m glad you found this meaningful. I had no idea there was something going on astrologically as well! My teenager ego thinks it was my influence of course! 😉
      Val x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. In the Stillness of Willow Hill

    Tuesday became Wednesday here in California. I was challenged at work by a group of ten teachers wanting a scapegoat. Now, as I share this moment with you, we will put up the sails and skim lightly across the water, allowing our inner children to find peace and joy once again.


  6. It’s so familiar and we all have them.Taking time to do all of those things is the best thing we can do.


  7. “By being fully present and knowing how to ride the wave and find my middle ground helped me center myself.” your post reminds me of Thích Nhất Hạnh’s wisdom, as I was looking for a quote that could illustrate your post, I thought, finally, they all are very good! If interested:
    Thank you for sharing such a helpful wisdom with us! xxoo


    • Thank you Frederic for sharing these Thich Nhat Hanh’s gems. So many wonderful words that come together in their meaning! The true meaning comes when we can live them 🙂
      Val x

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I blame the new moon we had on Tuesday. 😉 I know it sounds silly, but I always feel out of balance when there’s no moon. The saying goes that people get out of whack during a full moon, but it’s the exact opposite for me, I get out of whack during a new moon and always feel amazing during a full moon.
    Sorry you had a rough time of it the other day Val, so glad you were able to find your middle ground once again. xx ❤


    • I totally agree with you about new moons Julie. I did a lengthy analytical study of it a number of years ago when I lived on the coast here in England, comparing my mental states with lunar phases and tidal ranges. It is different for each individual, though this is what happens with me:

      Just as with the tides, my mental states exhibit their greatest variance around the times of the new and full moons. In fact, the variance both in my mental states and tidal ranges themselves are at their most pronounced just before and just after the new and full moons. I detect notable shifts in mental states up to 5 days before and 3 days after a full moon, the weakest variance being on the day of the full moon itself – exactly correlating with the high/low tidal range variations. The effects, for myself, are less pronounced at the time of new moons, though are broadly the same.

      Hariod. ❤


    • Thank you Julie for your affirming comment. I’m going to track my out-of-whackness as a mindfulness practice. (Now say that very quickly 10 times!)

      Hariod …. I just read your additional comment. I really will explore if there are any patterns!


  9. “The old habits of distractions, shopping, cleaning, entertainment, drinking and eating”… I thought it was only me!
    It is amazing how they work, but do not WORK.
    Glad that you returned to your middle ground.


    • Thank you Elizabeth. It does take time to shed our old habits. They have done us so well in the past! It comes as a surprise to find there is an alternative that works much better in the long term. (And cheaper too 😉
      Val x


  10. Awesome, Val! I so get this. And I will surely remember your words when my inner teenager starts stomping around – haha, I love that analogy. Peace and light – Allison XO


  11. When we tune into our inner wisdom, anything that “resonates” can be an arrow pointing us in the right direction. When I’m out of sorts, a good night’s sleep is often the best gift of self-care I can give to myself.

    Glad you bounced back to your middle ground.


  12. What a beautiful post Val, I love how you honored your body, and it is comforting to me as I am learning how. But, I loved your description as you were going through emails – sometimes I react just like that when scrolling through Facebook, and I’m learning that is a sign to step away!
    Thank you for sharing!


  13. Dear Val: I love your vulnerability in this post. I love how you detailed your process. I love how your husband loves you and knows you well enough to do or not do exactly what he did. I love the teenager comparison. I love that you tenderly put her to bed. I love your heart ❤
    Diana xo


  14. Hi Val…I am a little late replying here as I was away. So I know that your energy has found its middle ground. You are a blessing to me…I see things in a very similar way. You make me understand that it is okay to be in the trough and maybe we will even get quicker at realizing the decent. But no matter….we swing the other way and we learn. Much love to you!! ❤ ❤


  15. j.baldino@verizon.net

    Thank you, Val! This is a wonderful analogy. 🙂   


  16. So glad you write about the inner teenager. Heartwarming how you let her be. Mine got triggered with Robin William’s death. Though I am not the one to watch or follow news, it just came my way and sent me straight into my teens. Here’s my account –

    Much love. Sharing gives courage to the one who shares. 🙂


  17. Wow I loved how well you described how you dealt with this challenge! I look forward to reading more of your blogs!

    Liked by 1 person

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