Find Your Middle Ground

Finding Your Middle Ground is about finding your center of being and living life in balance.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~ Buddha

When we take time to pause and concentrate on the present moment, we open a door to our natural state of being – accepting, loving, peaceful, kind and happy. Most of us are so busy, distracted and moving so fast that we get caught up in the world of “doing” and lose touch with a sense of “being”and who we are.

The gateway to find your middle ground takes you to a calm and peaceful center that is there for every one of us.

blue door to our true nature

In this place, we are able to let go of judgments and how things should be, or comparing ourselves to others. We recognize that our thoughts are not the truth. We trust our intuition and have more clarity about ourselves and what is important. We become more focused and creative. We allow ourselves to open up to what is in this moment. We connect with our authentic being and life energy. We begin to find contentment no matter what occurs in the highs and lows of life. We are in the flow of life.

How Do we Get There?

The first step is all about self awareness and discovery – really getting to know yourself.

Often we think of ourselves in terms of the roles we have in this life – in our families as parent, sister or spouse, or at work as an employee or professional, or in communities as a neighbor or volunteer etc. We’re so bound up with others that we miss getting to understand ourselves. We think we know ourselves, but we often only see ourselves in relation to other people.

Ask yourself,  “Who am I …without my family, my partner, my career ?”

Take time to get to know your authentic self and become aware of your natural talents, core beliefs, values, needs, passions, triggers and fears! Much of what you will discover has come from those around you … yet there is so much more that is uniquely you.

woman freeWhen you start to explore who you are, and see all aspects of yourself, you can become authentic in the world. No longer trying to live up to others’ expectations or playing a role. Your mask can be set aside and you become free to let your true nature shine through.

You become more grounded and confident, courageous and compassionate. This is the place where an awakening of spirit takes place and a realization that we are all part of something greater than ourselves.

In my experience there are 2 ways to approach this journey:

Mindfulness Practice

The first way to self discovery and awakening comes from becoming present in each moment. Really noticing what is going on and being an observer.  This can come from yoga and the practice of mindfulness.

Noticing without judgment what is going on in your mind and your body, and acknowledging  it, iis incredibly powerful. I recall times on my yoga mat, when my left hip flexor tightens for no apparent reason. In the beginning I wanted the discomfort to go away and so I worked to stretch it out even more. Taking it to its limits in order to bring it into my idea of what it should be. Of course, I came across more resistance and more contraction instead. When I realized it needed some tender loving care and I backed off, the pain dissipated. Connecting to our body’s wisdom is a powerful mindfulness practice.

When we evolve our inner witness we see and feel more clearly. We can choose to respond more skillfully and appropriately. One of the most important lessons  in yoga is letting go of needing to control and accepting the way our bodies are….. and not to trust our thinking as being the truth.

Getting Curious

The second way to self discovery  is by taking  a coach approach and getting curious. Start to ask  yourself and answer these questions:

~ What are the best moments of my week?Woman journaling
~ What brings me happiness and joy?
~ What do I do at an excellent level?
~ What am I afraid of?
~ What beliefs, values and needs are important to me?
(Tip – Notice what makes you angry, because it is usually a belief or value that has been transgressed or an unmet need)
What do I want that I don’t have?

…. What else comes to mind about who you are and what you want?

In this place of questions and discovery, you may find it hard to access this inner part of yourself, or lots of judgments come up……. and that’s okay. It shows that there is room to grow into your true self!

This is just the beginning.

I truly enjoy connecting with those of you beginning this journey. Please reach out to me privately if you are looking for a guide and supporter:

30 Comments on “Find Your Middle Ground”

    • Congratulations Elizabeth! It really is the fun part of the journey. Keep your mind and heart open 🙂
      Let me know if I can help along the way. xo

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  4. Coming back from a walk that I took I stumbled upon your page and I saw all the thoughts I had during my walk written here on your page! Coincidence or confirmation!:)) Thank you anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  12. Like Janet Givens, I’ve come to your blog via Joan Rough’s blog, both mutual friends I’ve met face to face. We book lovers have strong bonds. Today my blog features a review of Louisa Adams’ biography, an English-American First Lady. I see you were born in Scotland. How wonderful to have the perspective of two cultures.

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    Reply

  14. This is a great post Val and so relevant for me right now. I do tend to revisit the past more than I should, so this is a timely reminder for me to focus on the present. Thank you.

    Like

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Val Boyko

Val Boyko

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 25 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and inspiration within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we all explore finding harmony and peace, in the highs and lows of life 💛

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