New Bloggers, Blogging and Life

blogging and life

I have noticed an interesting phenomenon recently with new bloggers. Perhaps, if you are reading this, then you may have noticed as well. There are flurries of Likes one after an other and then a Follow.

I doubt this new generation has superhuman ability to read so quickly… and it makes me wonder if they are actually reading what is posted, or are simply wanting reciprocation, with multiple likes and a follow. Is the goal to accumulate lots of Likes and Followers, regardless of connection with other bloggers?

It makes me think of my adolescence where there was much self doubt and a craving for validation. If I do this for you, you’ll do this for me. If I like you, you must like me. This, of course, is encouraged in all Social Media.

Perhaps this keeps many people in a state of wondering what others think, and being seen in a particular way – happy, popular, interesting etc etc, rather than expressing themselves and finding their authentic being.

When we are so attached to being seen in a certain way, or being overly attached to results, we lose out on the process that takes us there, and who we are. It’s the experience of getting there, and the highs and lows that make life worth embracing and living fully.

In yoga there is a saying for the newcomer “Yoga isn’t about touching your toes, it’s about what happens on the way down”… and I would add, “appreciating everything that comes up along the way.”

Like life.  Is your blogging a reflection of how you are living your life?

It’s your choice to tally scores, make as many connections as you can, and receive acknowledgement from others. Or, perhaps it’s time to slow down and read, absorb, listen and appreciate the goodness that others have to offer, and explore being in community with other people.

We all want validation and to be heard. We also all need to belong and care for others. Take a moment to pause, and notice if it is your ego-mind that is running the show here in WordPress or an expression of your authentic self.

And now consider your life…

498 responses to “New Bloggers, Blogging and Life

  1. I am having the same experience Val. Additionally, I have had numerous “bloggers” leave comments saying ” I followed you now you follow me”. Always takes me aback a little. I have long ago learned to not follow, but get to know people and exist with them (that last comment is not solely blog based). πŸ™‚

    Liked by 12 people

  2. Yes, I notice the same thing recently, a string of likes in order of date, then a follow. When I click on their page, it’s someone who probably wouldn’t understand anything about what I’m saying.

    Liked by 11 people

  3. interesting and common sense post, Miss Val… πŸ™‚
    * * *
    @”Is the goal to accumulate lots of Likes and Followers, regardless of connection with other bloggers?…” – oh, yeah plenty of bloggers don’t even read the title of your blog-post(s)! πŸ˜‰ btw, I invite you to read my “about”, in case you haven’t yet, and if you have 1 spare minute, as I’ve mentioned there: I don’t belong to any social networks, I don’t have a blog-roll and I don’t follow any blogs, as my time is quite limited! NO awards, NO trolls, NO fake or automatic β€˜likes’, SVP-PLEASE, for I’m thoroughly interested in QUALITY, not in quantity! πŸ™‚ https://myvirtualplayground.wordpress.com/about/
    * * *
    @”Is your blogging a reflection of how you are living your life?” – yes, but I never plan my posts and virtual “stuff” has never been my priority, REAL life is and will always be… πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Interesting observation Val. I sometimes wonder about the profuse number of email notifications identifying the same blogger views in quick succession, as though they are going through my posts without taking in their content, but that usually happens on my B & W photo blog where there is only one photo and no accompanying words in each post.

    When someone starts following my nature blog, I always go back to their blog to see who they are and where they’re from. I’m fascinated with the country of origin and the broad range of subjects on their own blogs, but I do notice from the (now rare) glance at the stats that there are more one-off views than regulars and that the number of followers one seems to acquire is not the true sum of those genuinely interested.

    I ask myself sometimes…..what do they see in my blog(s)? Why do some of these people, take an interest my my subject matter (so different to their own blogging subject)…… and then……I suppose that maybe, they’re just like me and have a broad range of interests quite beyond what they blog about.

    After 8 years of blogging I no longer feel obliged to follow someone because they follow me. I only follow the writing blogs (like your own) which remind me of the goodness and kindness of humanity. Mostly I follow photography and nature subjects (and keep my interest in alternative therapies, mind/body/spirit matters and Buddhist philosophy closer to my heart and home base).

    I find most of the social media habits in the younger set rather sad to behold and I long to tell them to be themselves and follow their own dreams and aspirations (instead of their peers).

    Sometimes it takes a lifetime of experience to find your true self and what really matters (in life) though.

    Liked by 14 people

  5. Hi, I’ve been blogging for a few months. I’m not afraid to say that it is important to get followers and one of the ways that I have found is to follow others. So, looking at your follower stats, you have 2,182 followers. With that kind of following, which is no doubt earned and took time to cultivate (congratulations), you can be less concerned about whether you pick up one or two a day or a week or whatever.
    For those of us who have much more modest numbers, there should be opportunity to reach out and interact. I will be exploring, discovering, reading, and liking other posts, because it is a good way to connect with others.
    I do like quality, and I hope that others see my content as quality too.
    thank you.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Thank you for joining to the conversation. We’ll started with zero followers. The strategy of connecting to other people’s blogs is really important. My intention has always been take time and get to know what others are saying. Find sites you like and start conversations there. If people don’t get back to you, then keep moving on. You will find your community and share more and more. Good luck πŸ’›

      Liked by 5 people

  6. I couldn’t agree more.There have been times when I would ask a person to first read and then hit that like button because if they don’t read I certianly don’t need the hypocrite appreciations.
    People do it still,I wrote a post about it about half and year ago still this thing annoys me.
    And really now they would drop their link site to my comment section as a comment?Are you kidding me.Have some love towards writing fellas!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’ve noticed the same thing. Building relationships with other bloggers is what makes blogging fun.

    Also, I liked the yoga quote. I’ve never heard that before and it makes a lot of sense.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lately I have received three “comments” from new people asking me to contact them. They give an email address. They want to know me. Very weird. Then I have people who say my blog is wonderful would I look at theirs and let them know what I think. For new followers I’ll look at the email notification. Sometimes it’s pretty clear that it’s not something that would interest me. I have never automatically followed anyone. I don’t have time or interest for that. Most of them I never see again. It’s not about the stats, it’s about the community!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, how weird that bloggers, complete strangers, want to know another stranger on such a one-to-one basis as email. I’ve had ‘friends’ requests by strangers on Facebook (which I rarely use) and Linkedln (which I set up at a friend’s request and never use), but never on WordPress.
      Community is the right place to be, but I admit that I do find Kindred Spirits in the most unlikely of places.

      Liked by 3 people

  9. Yes, I’ve noticed the same thing – and one easily tell they have not read your posts.
    But it does not bother me – because that’s social media behaviour.
    However, I only follow those whose posts resonate with me. They can have opinions opposite to mine – no worries, for it’s a learning opportunity for me.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Does blogging reflect my life? For most and many I believe this is true. As for me? I am a student. Always present in the classroom of life. Some of my lessons are little, some are big. Through them all
    my greatest lesson is non-attachment

    Liked by 5 people

  11. One blogger used to do this years ago on my site, recently he came by and did it again. Made me smile. I am not able to read all the posts of the bloggers I follow, but I do try to check in every now and then. I do love being a part of this blogging community Val. ❀
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Does this not reflect an Ego looking for approval, status.

    Even in cyberspace we feel our unworthiness and crave a certain acceptance. I know when I first started my blog I wanted a few likes and responses to feel successful.

    Looking back it makes me laugh at my insecurities now.

    Remember the ego never feels equal to another ego.

    It places himself/herself as above or below each ego it encounters.

    I think the structure of the reader function allows people to hit like without opening the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You have a good point Marty about the ego! The new Reader format also encourages skimming and liking without opening the post. Thank you ❣️

      Like

  13. I haven’t noticed this as yet, Val, although I did go through a short stage of having some ‘spam’ followers… it was most odd. I have had a couple of those ‘I’ve followed you so now you follow me’ comments/follows which I tend to ignore. A sign of the times, perhaps?

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I blog for me…to make meaning and create “thought things” of what I see and feel in the moment…also to work on my improving my photography skills in a mindful way….albeit I appreciate responses….what I enjoy about the WP platform is my ability to revisit other bloggers work overtime….WP is slower and calmer than other social media sites…to me and I like that….also people do use click farms to increase *likes* as I’ve learned…also I do know some granting proposals “look” at stats for determining success for applications….so who knows πŸ€“ ….not me πŸ˜€ I throughly enjoy your yoga connections Val! Compose a beautiful day ~ smiles hedy 😊

    Liked by 3 people

  15. I’m easy about this situation. I see it happening all the time too Val, but I’m happy for all sorts of people to visit my blog, either for a quick like or a long read! πŸ’šπŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ’•

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I’ve been getting more and more of them lately and just ignore them. I get a lot of follows from bloggers that have never read a word of my blog. I will check them out. If I see they are fishing, I move on. If someone is truly new and doesn’t know what to do yet, I try to lead with a kind comment. I blog for the connections and relationships. I have a wonderful community of friends here and am always grateful for a new and real connection. I am not interested either in stats or awards. I’m real here and I want to connect with others who are authentic as well. I tend to visit the sites of those who follow someone I relate and admire. Birds of a feather as they say. Good people find each other and that’s how I found you. I have over 500 followers but only 30-40 actually read and care about my blog. Good enough for me and those are the people I write to. Like my letter to good friends. If I find someone on your blog that is interesting, I leave a comment and let them know where I found them. It helps to build the relationship. Thank you for addressing this as it has been on my mind for awhile.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you Marlene. I think this kind of question, opens up what our intention is with blogging.
      Connection, interesting stuff , learning, and community are all up there for me too. Thank you for being authentic in your connections πŸ’•

      Liked by 2 people

  17. I’ve been dealing with this for quite a while! Someone will “like” about twelve of my posts, and follow me, at exactly 12:20. (I get an email notification of each like, along with the time stamp.) So I know they have just figured out a way to do multiple likes, and haven’t read a word. When that happens, I either ignore it all together, or visit their site and like one of their posts, but don’t follow them back. Usually, they will then unfollow me, which is fine. I don’t want to play that game.
    Sadly, lots of other people do. I have almost 1,200 followers, but no where near that many people actually read my blog. But it is the real readers I value, so I treasure each and every one!

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Thank you, Val! I’ve tried to keep my focus on my original intent when I started my blog…… to share my story with whoever was drawn to read it be they family, friend or another blogger who might relate. The ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ are a fun part of blogging though not the reason my blog exists. This is why I keep returning to your blog along with others that I’ve found support my blogging intentions. πŸ™‚
    http://www.meinthemiddlewrites.com

    Liked by 2 people

  19. A wise post, Val. Undoubtedly this phenomenon is linked to a wish to build up stats, something we were perhaps all prone to in the beginning. As you indicate, the relationships we develop are what really counts

    Liked by 1 person

  20. What an interesting observation.One that articulates something I had pondered about with regard to my own blog.

    My view, and it’s only a personal view, is that while there is no question that the foundation to reaching out to others is, first, to reach in to oneself, for many who are leading more or less uncomplicated lives it never occurs to them that there is so much more to understand about themselves.

    For example, life only dealt me a ‘curved ball’ that had me reaching out to a psychotherapist in 2007. That it was only subsequent to my counselling relationship with said psychotherapist, just ten years ago, that I learned that I had a deep-rooted fear of rejection that had it’s roots in the death of my father in 1956!

    So for 50 years, give or take, I ran my life with this unconscious element frequently in charge without realising it.

    Thus when it comes to Learning from Dogs I do understand why a large number of ‘Likes’ and a growing group of followers offers plenty of positive strokes. Is that ego driven? Maybe. Or does it assuage my fear of rejection that is still there but now not hidden from my consciousness? Quite likely!

    Make of that what you will! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Yes, you bring up a good point, Val. Even wth comments, I sometimes wonder if the person actually read my post or was simply keeping up, wanting reciprocity. I get it. Life is flying on by. In the end, I write for myself, so if others like it, so much the better. I don’t care if it’s publshed, I’ve done that too, but it’s not the goal. I guess in the end it’s just going to be what it is. People will be people, always a learning curve involved. Good offering 😘

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Hmm. Maybe this explains why some blogs have so many followers in what seems to me a relatively short period of time. Being new, older, not really into social media, and thus naive to the dynamics you mentioned, I didn’t realize that was a thing — and I thought I must be doing something wrong. I can only follow a few because I can only keep up with a few. Those few matter to me. I care about what they share — including yours! I write for myself, but to the extent possible, I also want others to benefit. To me, these are two sides of the same coin. And … I know what I write isn’t appealing to everyone. But I’d rather have 10 sincere followers than 1000 who aren’t really interested.

    Liked by 5 people

    • I do like your philosophy and approach πŸ’› Sincerity is an important blue that is often overlooked in social media …. I guess it’s because it’s about being so Il, and to be so Il, one doesn’t have to be sincere (?!)

      Like

  23. I used to get bothered with this phenomenon but now can ignore it. You have so well stated everything about this trend of seeking likes and follows for the sake of numbers itself. I have wondered at times if I was only one of few who makes an attempt to actually read the ones that I follow. Eventually I decided to simply follow my own process of being here with a purpose of genuine exchange of appreciation of our authentic works. I love the journey and the connections we build here more than the empty followerships.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. I think all new bloggers are looking at their stats and try to get high as fast as possible. At the very beginning I also thought if I get a follow I need to follow back or it is rude not to follow back. I have though “evolved ” and only really follow what interests me and gives me something. I also do not expect someone whom I follow to follow me back. I like my followers to follow because they want to. ( Sorry so many “follow ” words in there… πŸ™‚ ) guess you understand what I mean.

    Liked by 3 people

  25. Thank you for these words of wisdom. I am a new blogger and at first was interested only in getting a large following as quickly as possible to establish credibility toward my ultimate goal of being published. It didn’t take me long, however, to realize that the most important reason why I’m here (on WP) is to connect with others. Likes are nice, but I truly appreciate the comments people leave that tell me how my writing impacted them, and I enjoy leaving the same sort of feedback for others. Every time I get a like or follow from someone new, I go to their blog and look around to see if I can connect with them. If I want to see more, I follow. If not, I find something that I do appreciate, “like” and/or comment, then move on.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. It’s not only in blogging. I have a twitter account for my writer persona. Since I wasn’t well-versed in twitter etiquette in the beginning, I followed people who followed me. A few days later, I noticed that they unfollowed me. Apparently, this is a common tactic for people or companies to generate followers, they follow and after being followed, unfollow the account to show that they have more followers.
    Now, I’m more selective of who I follow in any of the social media platform. It might not earn me a lot of followers but I’m happy where I am right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Measuring my blog’s success by the number of likes, follows, and comments is exactly what I’m avoiding with my new blog. People always say “I blog for myself,” but are disheartened when no one seems to notice or respond. They take that inaction the wrong way.

    I know (having kept other blogs for years) that there are faithful readers who never comment (I meet them at social functions where they tell me they’ve read my blog daily for years. I’m flattered as hell but surprised; why never a comment? It’s just the way it is with many readers.).

    With the new blog, I’ve set things so that people can’t comment, so that I won’t be tempted to judge myself or my writing by readers’ replies … which are, just as you’ve stated, often made just to get traffic to their own blogs. And I also won’t be judging my writing by the lack of comments or followers. I really will be writing for myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Reblogged this on Lexi's Story Zone and commented:
    This is a beautiful article and the message is so clear. ‘We should appreciate the journey along the way and not be hung up on the results.’
    I try to live with an open-minded perspective, think optimistically, and slowly appreciate the beauty that life has to offer. But being a student where life hinges on an exam result and almost everyone is in competition with one another it’s hard to appreciate that beauty when the result becomes such a significant matter. Additionally with the capitalist nature of society today everything is based on competition. Who gets the better job, who gets paid more, who is more successful. It is sad that the result is what affects your quality of life.
    This growing competitive nature in society is even reflected in blogging, as this post mentions, as people become caught up in statistics. I see this post as a beautiful reminder that the result isn’t everything and isn’t the only thing that shapes the quality of your life.

    Like

  29. I too have seen this, the multiple likes, a quick comment with the blogger’s site, sometimes a follow. I’ve accumulated many followers, yet I’d say I interact regularly with a handful. Generally, I check out my followers as they connect, trying to understand ‘why’ they are following. Some are obvious and in line with my posts and interests, while others are a real stretch. Several are retail or commercial blogs. Personally, I only follow bloggers with content I intend to read and unfollow if the content shifts too significantly.

    Like

  30. Well said. I wrote about this recently. Trying to find the reason for why I write and why I should continue to do so. And it’s true, having a bunch of followers is like the old school feeling of being at the cool kid’s table. As a new blogger, I am trying to stop and smell the roses…and read other people’s actual words before showering them with “likes” and appreciation.

    https://theinstitutionofparenthood.com/2017/06/12/for-the-love-of-writing/

    Liked by 2 people

  31. I can’t thank you enough for this. A friend of mine told me earlier this year that she was very upset I hadn’t liked her FB post yet. ‘I posted an hour ago, why don’t you like it yet….what do you mean you haven’t been on FB yet today?’

    *do you just like me for my ‘like’?*

    Liked by 1 person

  32. After reading through all of these comments I just wanted to add a couple of thoughts. I am one of those people that follows back every single person that follows me. I have other social media and while I appreciate meeting new people and forming new connections, I am on here to write and to read things of interest to myself. Not everyone posts every day, every week or even every month, so my reader is fairly easy to manage, and because I have such a diverse selection of blogs I follow I enjoy scrolling through the reader opening up and reading only those posts that are of interest to me, just as I would a magazine – except this is a magazine of ‘my’ creation. I do actively search out other blogs that I think may interest me and comment and start conversations with people whose writing and thoughts I enjoy, and will check out and reply to all who comment on my page. The ones I connect with here I follow a lot more closely than other blogs. Just because someone I follow may once a month or once a week publish a post about a topic that interests me does not compel me to have to read and appreciate and engage in the posts that do not. I’m sure most people did not log in and create their first wordpress blog with the thought in mind that they were looking to form friends and meet other bloggers first and foremost, and push creating their own content and the reading of only those things of interest to them to the bottom of the priority list. In fact, some bloggers are only on here to create their own content and do not have much interaction and do not read and comment on my blog in return, and I have no problem with that, as I am interested in what they have to say.
    With all that being said, I have been enjoying the community here – many warm, welcoming and interesting people, and I have been slowly making some relationships that I genuinely hope to maintain, but there is a lot of judgment and criticism on what good bloggers are, and the right and wrong ways to go about reading, liking and commenting, and it has started to leave a poor taste in the back of my mouth. We don’t all share the same reasons for being here, so we can’t all be expected to follow some person’s rules for how we are expected to interact properly. So long as you’re not flat out spamming, you’re all good with me.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for taking the time to reply! I’m back again, reading through newer comments on this thread – it’s an interesting one for sure, lots of opinions and no two it seems exactly the same! I may even come back in a few more days to see what more people have to say on it lol. But having such an inter/active page it’s fantastic that you’ve taken the time to reply to and engage with all of your commenters. It does not go unnoticed, and just wanted to let you know it’s appreciated πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  33. Loved this post. As a new blogger I am still learning my way through the community. I’ve read that I need to respond to every like from another blogger and also to follow those that follow me. However as I read some of their blogs I know we have nothing in common and I don’t have time nor do I want to spend my time reading blogs that do not interest me.
    There are days that I have certainly looked at my stats and been discouraged but then I try to remind myself that I am writing about our adventure as much for me as for my family and friends to follow. When people comment that I have inspired them or that something I wrote touched them then truthfully that is all that matters.
    Glad I read this today. It is exactly what I needed!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Hi Val,
    I loved your post! The yoga perspective resonated with me deeply. It is good (and lucky) that I found your post today. I am new to wordpress and have been in search for some guidance since I recently decided to put my writing out to the world. A good check in for me today! Excited to keep up with future posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Hi Val, reading your blog blessed my soul. I have been blogging for about a year now, and it has been quite the experience, in a good way. Most people did not understand my desire to build relationships with others, rather than focusing on the likes, and follows. I truly love helping others by sharing my heart, and experience. Thank you for your transparency, and perspective.

    Like

  36. I recognize you as another reader at D.Schwenk’s blog…I think.

    I do wish followers of my blog who haven’t removed themselves and are still around after 3-4 years, would comment.

    I do skim through some blogs and do like. So I’m not always a deep reader. But for regular visitors who comment and I also do same, I value those visitors the most because of our very brief online interactions. It’s micro encouragement and reciprocity to one another in the vast Internet universe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes Jean, I have been following Diana since I started blogging! People come and go over time, yet it’s so nice to keep the older connections going πŸ’›

      Like

  37. Val – I feel this on so many levels. Off WP, I am generally thoughtful like to connect one-to-one or in small groups and talk real-talk in a mindful way. I am silly too, but substance is important. Going a little deeper. True connection often trumps popularity. When I got to WP, my intention was to spread inspiration and stories and connect with other creatives and thinkers who could inspire or teach me something. So, when I got likes or follows 5 seconds after i posted, I was highly suspicious. LOL. Now and again, I do find myself wrestling with the very human desire of wanting to have more followers, more likes, more attention (ahahaha) but quickly return to the questions of What does that even mean? and What is my intention? Anyway – thanks for the post!

    Like

  38. I was very grateful to read your article. I just started a blog a month and a half ago and to be frank, I really don’t know what I am doing. I am on a journey through my middle age and have always wanted to write. So I just sat down one day and started. My blog is totally unscripted. I use whatever is on my mind that day. It is totally organic and I was starting to doubt myself. I was wondering if I should plan better. I wasn’t even thinking about likes or followers, just writing. I wanted to make sure that I would show up regularly, that I had something to say. Your article has given me the courage at just the right time to just follow my impulses. Thank You

    Like

  39. Pingback: Who am I writing for? Why? – Sono Komorebi·

  40. I’ve been having similar thoughts. I’m blogging to work on my writing skills; I’m trying to learn a craft. I’ve figured out pretty quickly that I may not receive a lot of recognition, and that’s OK. (Though not ideal, I admit.) But I tire of people advertising their blogs, wanting the “likes” and love, but when I read their work — they suck. (I don’t mean to say that all bloggers suck, of course…)

    Like

  41. Well said. That “flurry of likes” triggers laughs, but rarely curiosity. I love the sweet trilling notification from WordPress as much as the next blogger, but when I hear that machine-gun repeat, I’m reminded of telemarketers eager to get me to buy their new phone service plan.
    However, when receiving a thoughtful comment from a blogger that has taken the minute (or 3) to read my post… that blogger is well on their way to becoming a new blogging friend. And that’s one of the principal reasons I blog. To meet and form meaningful connections with fellow bloggers.

    Liked by 1 person

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  43. Lots of wisdom in this post. It takes time and thought to find one’s identity and message as a blogger. I find so much joy and food for thought in reading my favorite blogs and interacting with the community. Thank you for being here, Val ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  44. I decided a while ago to never like or share a post, blog, or tweet without fully reading it – and occasionally more fully exploring the site or person who posted, blogged, or tweeted. Not only is it not authentic, but often what seems benign or something I may agree with on the surface is filled with messages that are harmful or express views contrary to my own.

    As a very new blogger, I have been experiencing self-doubt about sharing myself with the world in such a way. Thank you for the reminder that is about being authentic and not about being liked. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Being authentic is so powerful … and recognizing we only have so many hours in the day to read other’s reminds us to also be realistic… and find what works for us. How I blog and the time I spend has d finitely evolved over the years. I hope in a good way πŸ˜‰

      Like

  45. As a new blogger, I can say that it is exciting when I get new followers or likes to my posts. But that’s not what I’m going after. Blogging to me is like journaling, except it’s published to the world to see. I think that blogging should be an honest reflection of that person or their life and the followers should be those people who are genuinely interested in the story you have have to tell.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. I’ve seen this point discussed quite a bit lately. I personally blog because I like flapping my mouth and run out of people to flap at in person, so I flap on the internet. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with others who blog with a purpose, whether that’s to get validation or see their follower numbers increase or to let the world know their dog has cool hair. I get your point, and it happens to be one that I agree with and follow on my blog, but I worry that in the process of encouraging bloggers to stay “true to themselves” we aren’t including some judgment about what that should mean or how it should look.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. For me, blogging is about organizing my thoughts and feelings. It was purely that at first anyway. When I became aware that I could effect change through what I wrote, or connect with others, it became more a part of me vs. something I did. I’m still mystified when I get a new follower–who, me?! My gratification comes from entertaining or educating or touching someone through writing. Maybe I’m just old enough to base my self-valuation on more than likes and clicks. Not that I don’t appreciate those, mind you. . . I’m glad this post was shared though! I enjoyed your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Wendy. Starting from an intention to journal and share from your heart, will draw others like this to you. We all make a difference when we open our eyes 😊

      Like

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  49. Well said, as a recent blogger I start doing this as an excercise for writing, and also manifesting my thoughts about the team (sports) that I love. But as the views came in, specially from other countries, I start looking more often at the stats. I realise thats was not why I started doing this. So what I start doing, was going back at writing for the simple reason of having fun, writing to my 15 fan base (all relatives) because I do a lot of family jokes, and forgot about the Stats, Likes or anyting related to that. Since then I am enjoying this a lot more

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Thank you for this perspective. As a relatively new blogger (April 2017), I am trying to manage sincere content that is generated by my real life questions and experiences and with the need to post more consistent entry. So, this post gives me some validation to stay committed to my authenticity as I work to post more frequently. Thanks a lot!

    Liked by 1 person

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  52. Ooohhhh you have no idea how appropriate this post is for me at the moment! It truly fell from the sky onto my screen!!! I am new and my blog is a means to share my daily battle with depression and how I am learning so much and beating it! To cut a long story short, I created it to show there is someone else out there going through it also in the hopes to continue the conversation about it going and show that opening up is the first step in the right direction! And yes, i did fall into the trap of looking out for likes and followers and comments etc etc etc BUT i realized that by doing that I was loosing focus of why it is that I started this journey! So I am now staying true to myself, continuing with this and not worrying about ‘knowing’ if I have touched someone with my posts or not. I know the universe has our backs and we simply need to trust and remember the real why of any journey we begin…. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so glad you landed here as well! There is often serendipity at work. When we send out something, we no baggage or loaded outcome attached, we often find wonderful connections. I am happy this worked for you. Now go and fin others who are beating a path and inspiring others 😎

      Liked by 1 person

  53. I wonder if the 133 likes to your post actually read your post, lol. As much as I agree with your post. Even if you are writing for the pure reasons, you have to advertise your writing, most people do that through publishers. Here people are trying to advertise their blog, which in itself I don’t think makes it a bad thing. But it is always good to be reminded about doing it for the right reasons. That being said,
    http://www.roadandwell.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    • Funny, I don’t see myself as a writer, just someone sharing the lessons I have learned long the way. Instead of having a publisher. I send out the energy that I want to receive back from whoever happens to be listening. Much simpler. And makes for a happier way of blogging πŸ’›

      Like

  54. Yup, so true. I was in fact going to write a blog about this recently. Maybe I still might. I hate likes in social media. Now, I hate likes in blogs too. People don’t even read the content and go ahead and like the post. I know this because I’ve received likes to around 20 of my posts in less than a minute. There’s no way anyone could have read all of them in less than a minute. You know what I mean? Anyway, thanks for putting this out. Cheers!

    Like

  55. Hi val, first of all wishing you a happy yoga day . What really resonated with me was about letting the egoic mind run the show, i was actually left wondering if the point of blogging was escaping from the present moment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate your reflection in this. πŸ’› Any activity can be a distraction from an life, especially when it is challenging. Reading a book, watching movies or gambling are just the same. Being aware of our intention, as well as how we are feeling is so important. Thank you 😊

      Like

  56. I agree totally! I’ve been ghost writing for a number of years. In that time I have seen a lot of shallow writing. My advice to those out there….
    Like because you like not because you would like to be liked.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. Okay, I almost just clicked ‘like’ – to be funny – but it would only have been funny to me – so I am leaving a comment.

    I haven’t been doing this for very long, so it was not too long ago that I was excited about likes and follows, a bit giddy and silly at the receipt, and guilt-ridden if I did not follow. Don’t misunderstand, I still get a little excited about likes and follows, because it’s fun and an interesting gauge of what ‘works,’ but it is not a true metric. I never ‘just’ followed – I make a point of checking out a persons site – but for a while, I was a tad less discerning. What I find lacking, what I miss and crave are comments. I get them, occasionally, and love it, but it is rare. I initially thought getting ‘likes’ and follows was vallidating – however, when I stop and think about it, it is not. Clicks are easy, thoughtless (forgive me), and take nothing. Taking a moment or two, in this crazy world, to write a thoughtful comment – that’s the vallidation. That’s the connection. I write for myself and because I have been sitting on my words for too many years. Wherever this goes, it will be an interesting journey. ~ Thanks for making me think about this.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. I liked this post and I have now followed your blog, but I can assure you I actually read the post and you are only the second blog I am currently following. I know it will take time to build up the followers I want, probably years, but I accept that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The more you give, the more you will get back. Always tune in to others and try to connect. That is what the world needs most these days. I wish you all the best … and thank you for the follow πŸ’›

      Like

  59. It seems that many of us are actively missing out on our the ‘journey’– whatever that may be individually. Perhaps this ‘binary’ behaviour, is a result of chasing ideals that exist outside of the present moment…./ Totally thought the point of yoga was to touch my toes! πŸ˜› j/k.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. I love this post. Short and sweet it really opens up our minds and makes us think. Interesting how it’s a call to arms to slow down, take our time, and read, while simultaneously not taking up that much of our time. Brilliant!

    Liked by 1 person

  61. Great post, Val! I use blogging to express myself (and maybe to find revenue too but it’s not the main focus). And I only follow blogs that I like or blogs of my friends whom I know in real life.I want to enjoy my blogging life πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Thank you for your helpful post Val. As a new blogger who has just started on this journey, it was a good reminder not to get distracted but to concentrate on my writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Val, yours words are true . New bloggers have a tendency to do so . But they want recognition and appreciation for their writings to, and it’s tough to be recognized in the sea of experienced blogger , what else they will they do, is there any other way?
    Even though there writing is genuine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You make a good point! Sometimes we must also express ourselves in a way that is easy for others to connect to. Clear thinking and well chosen words, and not too many errors in spelling and grammar are some things I really appreciate in other blogs. Thank you πŸ’›

      Like

  64. Well I am a new to this blogging thing (Started this week only).
    And I am keeping it authentic. I like the way that I write and only comment on other sites after reading the whole post.
    I don’t give like(in fact I have given just one) . But it is strange because sometime even a comment I replied to, out of courtsey, will get a like.
    But I think those who are reading my blog are actually reading my post. They are not just rushing over the whole thing.
    But it is the lack of comments that intrigue me. People with experience should actually not hold back to critically evaluate the post.
    I am just a novice but already I put effort in signalling the strength of posts I like to read through comment section, but strangely the feeling is not reciprocated.
    Although there are few who do actually put some effort. And it is to those authors that I head out to every time I log in.
    I want to converse not yell.
    Hope someone is listening..

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m listening … and looking for someone that resonates with me, my life, or my values. We are never alone in this world of blogging. Keep tuning in and connecting πŸ’›

      Like

  65. I couldn’t agree more. A few years ago, the stats and the numbers worried but now I know that writing is way beyond those likes and follows. When I followed your blog right now, it was because of the content. This is one thing that I have done since I started – following for content and not for reciprocation. Thank you for writing this piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. I found a link to your post when I clicked on a review of your thoughts in another blog. I commented on the review post and then headed here to read the original. I liked what you’ve written and I also liked reading through all of the comments and your replies. I think I really liked it bease it’s real! I may just finish this comment and click the follow button! Thanks for sharing. Best wishes.
    PS. The other blogger described you as a life coach, but I didn’t have my glasses on and I thought it said life couch. I got my readers on and was hooked!

    Liked by 1 person

  67. I don’t write off enough, but I have noticed that on occasion when I get a ‘like’ I’m curious enough to go and check out their profile and their blog, and if the subject that they’ve written is interesting to me, I may consider following them. Also, from time to time, I will go through the ones that I follow to see if they are regular writters or not and if they haven’t written something for a very long time, I tend to delete them from my follow.
    Nevertheless, I do prefer to read things that are intelligent and interesting, and of subjects that allow me to get to know the person, to get to know who they are through their writing style.

    I don’t think I have an audience, but I really don’t care. What I care about is that if someone reads my stuff I want to feel that they’ve read it and the comments they leave (if they leave one) should reflect my entry. If I don’t get comments I don’t care, it doesn’t matter. Perhaps, the ‘like’ button should be removed completely and let people write comments instead, this way at least you know someone may appreciated your time and effort for that particular piece of writing that you’ve submitted.
    I don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your perspective S. We all have our own place of balance and being in integrity. I will say though, that I do like the “like” button. When I don’t have a lot of time to reply to everyone’s posts, it is a way to let bloggers know that I appreciate what they are saying.

      Like

  68. Thank you for such a meaningful insight!
    While blogging, it’s easy to find ourselves caught up in “likes” and “follows” pursuit.
    If I get more and more “likes” and “follows” does it really mean my writing is interesting? Do all those people pay attention to what I say? Or is it just a game? I have thought about this and I guess many people around here as well.
    I have decided to create a blog because I wanted to organize some of my writings as well as share my experiences and reach to other people. I thought I had something to say.
    Eventhough I don’t deslike to receive “likes” and “follows”, these are really secondary, the best times are when someone makes a constructive comment or asks an interesting question.
    I guess what matters the most is to learn both from others and from ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. I like this post… I like it because it’s speaking truth and wisdom that would be beneficial for a lot of people. I feel with things like blogging and social media, it really depends on the intentions of the user, what do they actually want from it? Some want money, some want to inspire, some an outlet, and a lot want validation…it seems that with the first and the last reason, their actions are slightly more transparent, it can become less about forming connections and more about accumulating numbers…so like you said, it is important to take a step back and see what your intentions are, and make sure you’re being as true and authentic to yourself as possible.
    Have a good day πŸ™‚
    x

    Liked by 1 person

  70. I remember the days on livejournal and teenopendiary/bloopdiary when if you did not comment a certain amount, or update enough it was a “unfriending” offence. Or people would not want you to reply to their comment on your page, you had to go to theirs, so they had a comment.

    It was exhausting. I think if you want a following, or people to read your focus shouldn’t be trying to railroad people into following you, or commenting on your stuff, it should be about improving your content and writing what is you. If you’re writing honestly and as a reflection of yourself, rather than the purpose being to attract, the followers will eventually come and they will be the right kind of followers who respect you and your content

    Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t by into it anymore, I just write for me. I was writing a long time before this kind of platform existed and I will be writing even longer still.
        It’s breathing to me and I would never alter the amount of breaths I take to appease another person, so I won’t sacrifice this either.

        Liked by 1 person

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  72. I’m completely 100% new to blogging and for me it’s all about being real and authentic… blogging is therapy for me. It’s disheartening to see not everyone takes it the same way, feels like some of the social media I’ve tried to escape. But it’s good to find those people who really do care and really ‘get’ it. Hopefully I’ll have more of that kind of experience. Thank you for your wisdom!

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Thank you so much for this πŸ™‚ As someone who’s just begun blogging, this truly resonated with me. The numbers game is a little intimidating, but I loved discovering this amazing community of writers and will focus on that..and writing authentically.

    Liked by 1 person

  74. Love! Your words are so wise and deep and sweet!

    I’m struggling myself with wondering how to get my words out there but don’t want to create content just to get likes or follows. I want to be true to myself but want to connect with more people. I’m wondering if I need to compromise, and if so, how much. I’m guessing it’s the process of discovering myself so I can figure out how to do me in the blogging world.

    Thanks so much for sharing! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have such a live hate relationship with “invasives”. I’ve had them in the past in a more contained setting and have been able to keep them in check. And then comes along one who loves to bury deep, and sees wet weather as a challenges to expand at super speed and take over the yard.! Balance in all things πŸ’›

      Like

    • I would add…. breaking habits and noticing what comes up, including the fear … helps our habits to grow and expand into new realms. Thank you Wells πŸ’›

      Like

  75. Pingback: New Bloggers, Blogging and Life | regiannelly·

  76. I completely agree I just started and I find myself at time down when a blog doesn’t get a like or comment, but to be honest I write for me it’s an expression of myself and sets a little piece free each time I hit publish. This world is so consumed with being liked we forget to connect. I want my blog to connect people…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Tiffany. Expression from the deepest part of ourselves and not being concerned about the results is key for happy blogging … and happy life πŸ’›

      Like

  77. So much goodness here – flowing from you and entrenched in your truth. What you discuss here is all too familiar, but I experience it to a larger extent on Twitter. Am I really in commune with another or simply responding to a bot that someone is paying to promote themselves? It is refreshing to know that there other bloggers out there with the same level of skepticism…and hope. Thank you for these words!

    Like

  78. Pingback: New Bloggers, Blogging and Life – Jamison Editing·

  79. I love what you said when you asked this question: “Is the goal to accumulate lots of Likes and Followers, regardless of connection with other bloggers?” And it’s funny, I think the thing that draws so many readers to your blog is that you practice what you preach. You’re authentic, and we can tell that by reading the blog. Thus, you have more followers.

    Today, so many people out there are trying to make money online, so they create a blog and hope that by churning out post after post, they will get followers, build traffic, and get rich. But really, in the long run, it’s important to make a difference. I have just revamped my company and am making a blog, and YOUR blog here really has helped give me some perspective. My whole business is in helping others, and I strive to create each article just for my audience, to help them in some way. That’s what you did here Thanks!

    Elizabeth

    Liked by 1 person

  80. I would love people to follow me and press the like button but I write both my blog and my novels (these yet to see much light) because of what I have found in words – understanding, compassion, empathy and the list could go on forever. I blog about writing, about life and the things I see around me because the connection to others is what gives us strength. Loved the sentiments in your post and I will follow you because of that alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  81. It’s interesting. I initially blogged to express myself, with no expectation or even desire to get followers. It was challenging to start falling into that ‘like and follow’ economy, and to work my way away from that as a driver of what I was doing online. I am really proud of my handful of followers, because every now and then, someone leaves a comment about the impact my work had it is genuine, and more than I ever hoped for initially. Knowing that once a month someone, somewhere across the world has their life enriched by my silly little blog is really rewarding, more-so than follower numbers and likes. And finding things you like, and reading them and commenting is so much more valuable than what I notice has happened, where a person will ‘like’ my post literally seconds after it’s posted.

    Liked by 1 person

  82. One last comment – I thought you might like to watch & hear this song from the 2017 Tony Award winning musical, Dear Evan Hansen – First of all, it’s a BEAUTIFUL SONG with lyrics which are quite poignant – somewhat fitting…

    Liked by 1 person

  83. I have recently started blogging. I like reading and writing rhymes. When I started a week ago, I was looking for like minded people to interact with. But somewhere deep down I also craved for validation by them. After reading this post, I think that at the moment we hit publish button, we set free a piece of our innermost thoughts. And these thoughts are ours to share and not for others to validate. Thanks for sharing such an amazing post with us.

    Liked by 2 people

  84. Hey Val, this observation is so relevant to me. When my blogging has started to involve real life stories from readers and fellow bloggers, I realized the value of genuine connections that go beyond Likes, Follows, and Reblogs. It is more about adding value with what we are reading.

    Liked by 1 person

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  87. Thank you for pointing out this phenomena. It had not clicked in my old brain yet. Connection is important between writer and audience; I am still trying to understand this powerful beast: the web. It cannot only attract, but also to repel. It lacks the body language of the real world, it is all visual, except for musicians, they can reach people’s ears. Not touch, no taste, no smell. Thank you for helping me learn to navigate it!

    Liked by 1 person

  88. I have to say that myself gets more authentic with feedback. WordPress bloggers are not an Easy bunch; very discerning. I write for the challenge of fitting in with them; and to show myself that I can. Building an ego in later life isn’t always easy, it requires a entourage of like minded individuals. Luckily I’ve been able to find them in other states and countries; my own social circle wasn’t doing much in the mutually supportive dept.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. It was interesting to read this article and the comments below. I was a blogger for a while and then got out of it (and suddenly my blog got popular, oh the irony). And now that I have started a new blog, I’m starting from the ground up. I feel the “pressure” of getting many likes, because I see what’s going on around me on social media and YT and other blogs, but then again, I always liked blogging ‘just for me’ and to put my story on ‘paper’. So I don’t know, it feels like a double edged sword. At one side – it looks nice to be popular and have your stories read, but at the other side – it’s rewarding to write for people who really care and take the time to read it… I think I prefer the latter.

    Liked by 1 person

  90. I’ve thought about blogging for as long as I can remember, and this is the very thing that has kept me from posting anything, yet, for so longβ€”this question: who am I writing for? I honestly can’t answer that question. I have tried overriding the usefulness of answering it (going by the Just do it line of thought), hoping that I would figure it out as I went along; but it has not been the case, not yet anyways. I have tried myself at short stories, on Instagram, gathered quite a number of likes, and even some positive comments; I have shown my writing to a few people in real life, people who’ve told me that did I not tell them the works were my own, they would think they were from a published author. This, of course, was very encouraging. But, what has dwindled my motivation was the fact that I received liked so quickly on my short stories (a phenomenon you’ve alluded to here), and not as many comments. To me, it translated in an almost instantaneous reaction to scrolling down your feed: you scroll, see a post, hit the double tap, doesn’t matter what you actually think of the content. It shot at my motivation, and I subsequently deleted all my short stories from Instagram. Then I tried myself at Snapchat, for a short while, before realizing that the medium (in a similar fashion to Instagram) wasn’t really conductive to my getting much fulfillment for my writing. It just wasn’t set up to allow for the sort of depth I aimed for.

    This brought back into stark relief the question of, Who are you writing for? I wrote mainly, dare I say exclusively, for my peers; but, I realized my peers (the ones I focused on) weren’t the kind that liked reading, deep, engaging reading, as much as I would have liked them to. This is not to say they’re stupid, or anything like that: they just, literally, do not like reading.

    This left me with only myself as an audience, and some people (my senior mainly) I didn’t have much interest in reaching. See, writing for me is almost a way to communicate with people, a way to find my footing in the world. As such, I envision the perfect reader to be one in their 20’s, who’d read, be touched by the writing, give their opinions, and spark a conversation–if not with me, then with other people that age bracket, so as to make me feel my writing had had some impact. Ofc, I can get much of the underlying fulfillment from readership a different age bracket, but it just isn’t the same, in the same manner that a movie whose protagonist is a 37 years old lawyer will not have the same impact on a young girl as Pocahontas. Both have artistic, and intellectual merits; they just don’t strike the same cords.

    I am still in a state of contemplation, very much filled with desolation. As of now, I am still in search of who I will write for.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing your quandary! I’m sure many others have a similar experience. A better question might be “What do I want to give to the world? What do I want to share that I believe in?
      When we express ourselves, we become attractive to others.
      Don’t try so hard. Hit the publish button. See what happens πŸ’›

      Like

  91. I’m glad I came across your post, and congratulations on being featured on WordPress. I try to keep the numbers game at bay but, if I’m being honest, I catch myself examining the stats more often than I’d like. You’re absolutely right; it’s about connecting. Quality over quantity, as they say. It was timely for me that you posted this when you did. I needed this message, and I appreciate it. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

  92. Hello Val, I am a relatively new blogger and often ask myself the same question. Who do I write for and why do I want to write? I write primarily for my children to read one day and also to make sense of myself and my feelings. I write to clarify my thoughts. I find it impossible to “like” a piece of work which I haven’t read or didn’t enjoy. That is meaningless. I believe some bloggers do that to give themselves greater exposure and maybe, for aspiring writers, this is a form of self promotion? Of course we all want to connect and some connections are more meaningful than others. I hope that made sense.

    Liked by 1 person

  93. Hi Val,
    I started my blog a few months ago and it’s been interesting…my first foray into social media at 57! I admit to the initial rush of accumulating likes and views, but, in the end, I really just want to feel proud of my creation. And, I have to say, the Likes from my daughter mean the most to me!

    I enjoyed reading your post!
    Michele

    Liked by 1 person

  94. Pingback: Recommended reading | Down the Road·

  95. Thanks for laying this out Val. I’ve started blogging because I want to talk to others about my love of history and make something positive of a shared passion. I hope that in a year’s time I remember that and am not obsessing over how many followers I have!

    Liked by 1 person

  96. I appreciate this post and have myself reminded of my purpose for blogging. I want to express myself without thinking about how much attention I am expecting to receive just like posting stuff on facebook and gaining likes or shares and would feel unheard or taken for granted if there were no notifications in return. It gave me a tap on my back to take it down a notch and just enjoy sharing my thoughts and hearing others’ instead of worrying so much on how many followers I’ll get. Thank you for the reminder.

    Liked by 1 person

  97. Interesting post, thank you. I’m a new blogger (3 weeks), but my motivation for posting is a passion for sharing the interests and pursuits I’ve developed over many years, whether that be my faith, creativity, writing, photography, travel or other aspects of my life, as well as gaining insights from other people that I otherwise wouldn’t possibly have. I thankfully have not come across many superficial ‘like and follow’ situations in my short time here, but feel that if you are motivated from an authentic place to both connect with others and express yourself, and grow as a person, then like tends to attract like, and not in the sense of pressing the like button, but in terms of making genuine connections, learning from other people, finding common ground, discovering more about ourselves and generally enriching our lives journey and bringing encouragement to other people too. That’s the beautiful thing about authenticity, it can’t be packaged, or faked. Nice to hear your thoughts, and thank you for the questions for new bloggers to reflect upon.

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Very interesting post. And some very interesting comments as well. I blog about horses because that is my passion in life. When I started blogging a year ago I thought I was writing for other “horse” people. But as the year has gone on I have found that lots of other people , who have nothing to do with horses have become loyal followers who read and comment and ask questions. So now I am writing for two groups of people : horse lovers, who are riders like myself and others who just seem to love horses and want to know more about them. I have adjusted my writing a little bit so as not to leave the non horse people in the dark and I also enjoy writing about horse related things such as the Household Cavalry in England as well as writing about my own horse and my own riding. I have to be honest, I only follow blogs that I know I will read. If a blogger gives me a “like” I will check them out and read several of their posts but if, for example, the posts are all about fashion and the latest in fake nails then I am not likely to follow them. For me the best thing about discovering the blogosphere is finding the very talented fiction writers and poets and photographers that are out there. Just so much talent and so much worth appreciating. Thank you for your post.

    Liked by 1 person

  99. Reblogged this on FoxSpace and commented:
    This is so true. The mindset of keeping scores with likes, followers and shares are all the product of social media and the want to be validated and popular. So many people put emphasis on their stats and numbers rather than on their content, and it’s actually pretty sad. We should all just take the time to read other people’s work and ruminate on their words just like how we would want others to take the time to read and appreciate ours. Ultimately, it’s the discussion that matters. Not the numbers.

    Liked by 1 person

  100. This is so true. The mindset of keeping scores with likes, followers and shares are all the product of social media and the want to be validated and popular. So many people put emphasis on their stats and numbers rather than on their content, and it’s actually pretty sad. We should all just take the time to read other people’s work and ruminate on their words just like how we would want others to take the time to read and appreciate ours. Ultimately, it’s the discussion that matters. Not the numbers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Of course. WordPress also encourages this perspective in how we access and see our posts. They want to increase their business as their customers engage more and more people. The FaceBook model is being applied in many areas. Luckily we still have a choice … as long as we are tuned in to what is most important to us. Thank you Solaris for sharing here πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

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  102. I enjoyed reading your post /blog. and the responses to it. I am very new at trying to blog , and not sure exactly what to do , therefore whatever I do write , I do not expect the likes and follows , but I do hope for advice and criticism . As for your thoughts on this , I watch the people on Twitter bragging on their likes , and the many followers , and that makes me feel they are not really caring about others post , only their numbers I think this is sad. Because you can learn so much by other people views that is more useful than numbers . Thanks for your blog , it made me reflect and think about the reality of blogging .

    Liked by 1 person

  103. Pingback: New Bloggers, Blogging and Life – Ayesha's Diary·

  104. It’s a good question – just what is the motivation behind blogging? Even if it starts as a genuine desire to share experiences, a little attention can wake up ambition for more and change the reason we pen our words. Ironically, it seems like in some cases the people who are able to keep it authentic also naturally gain a stronger following.

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Pingback: New Bloggers, Blogging and Life | mrdarden·

  106. This rings true to how I used to blog and how I blog now. Before, my goal was to have readers and have lots of them, so I follow them after they follow although I don’t care about the things they say. Now, if I see that my follower has none of the things I look for in a blog, I don’t feel obliged to follow them too. One can only read so much in a day. It better be worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

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  108. My experience has not been exclusively one or the other. During composition I feel as if I’m expressing myself but afterwards I want people to care or even notice. I know that I crave attention but I also know that I really want to contribute. It’s like being bound and free at the smartest time. I’m not really sure what to do with either.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. I totally understand what you are talking about. I’m happy with the people that are coming and clicking like and leaving the occasional comment – these are names that do so on a regular basis, but I’ve seen likes on posts that haven’t even been read yet in a given day. I haven’t experienced the “follow you, now follow me” thing, but I do get copious amounts of spam comments (I’ve called out spammers a few times on my blog), which usually follow a huge surge in viewership in one day.

    When I changed blogging sites from Blogger to WordPress in 2015,my motivation was purely for readership. But as I started my blog anew, I realized how much I just enjoyed posting for my own happiness. Over the last two years, it has been less about attracting readership and more about the actual enjoyment of writing. I’ve never loved it more. Thinking this way has allowed me to rethink my personal “brand” and work on my craft for fun. That said, I’ve got alot to say, but I don’t feel obligated to a readership of people waiting to click “like.” Besides, I’ve got plenty of spamming fans. πŸ˜€

    Like

  110. Now that you mention it, Val, I’ve noticed that at my blog, too. I prefer to cultivate relationships with readers and other bloggers instead of focusing on how I can make my stats go yea-high. (Not to mention the latter is exhausting!) I’d rather write good articles and get to know the people I meet through my blogging ventures than try to be popular or everywhere, because it just isn’t feasible. I’m glad your post reminded me of all this and more, as it’s something I’ve struggled with lately.

    Btw this is my first time visiting your site (I found the link through a blogger friend), and I love your focus and content. Yoga, mindfulness, and spirituality are important parts of my life. πŸ™‚

    Like

  111. Lovely Val, you took the words right out of my mouth. What you’ve written here always floats around in my mind. Whenever I post something on social media I ask myself this question: “why am I posting this?” and if the answer is because I just want to share something, then I hit that share button. Otherwise, I’m most likely doing it for reasons other than my authentic self so I don’t post it. Thank you for this piece, it helped me remind myself of my authenticity and that I am not alone in these thoughts. Wishing you more love.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. I’m so glad I found this post. I like being liked, but have debated having likes on my blog, and have removed them once or twice before. Only to add them back again.
    For me it’s not a social thing, it’s all about aesthetics. I have a story blog with pictures, and I prefer to control the content on my site. I have my comments set not show avatars and wish I could do the same with likes.

    Liked by 1 person

  113. This is such a great post! I’ve only just started blogging and I’ve never done it before! The past few years have been me growing out of an insecure personality in which I was finding myself in stuff like Likes and follower count and into coming to terms with my authentic self and now my favourite thing is to share my true values and express my feelings through many different things, for no one but myself! I’ve been writing privately for 3 years this year and decided I wanted to expand my comfort zone this summer and start up a blog. I’m truly interested in reading what other people write because I learn so much! And maybe I’m perceived as the person who’s a bit annoying asking people if they’d like to check out my writing to get any kind of feedback. I don’t see anything wrong with asking for feedback if your intentions are to improve your writing and learn from others. As said, I’m just starting up and feeling pretty lonely in here seeing all these amazing writers interact with each other and giving each other feedback! I’m excited to be a part of that once my blog is fully running! ☺️ super helpful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad you found it helpful! Keep reaching out to others and participating in their blogs. I believe that when we put out the right energy, we will get it back to us. Good luck with your writing πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

      • My site is up already! πŸ˜… I’m just in the stage of getting to know WordPress which is why I said “once my blog is fully running” hahah! Thank you so much though! 🌺

        Like

        • I stopped by idaskiheim.wordpress.com and there was a WP alert saying the site had been deleted. Best check it out to make sure you have the right address in your profile. πŸ’›

          Like

          • I don’t understand why that keeps happening, if anyone has any tips I’d love some help!πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈ I changed my web address to “Idamskiheim.wordpress.com” because I accidentally deleted the one you mentioned so I just included the first letter of my middle name to my new one. But when I click my profile it directs to the one you mentioned. I have no idea why, but thanks for checking my profile anyway! ❀️

            Like

  114. Pingback: New Bloggers, Blogging and Life – musingsofajadedgirl·

  115. This is interesting, considering I’ve been using social media since MySpace, then BEBO, to Facebook, Twitter, IG and such.
    I didn’t really see the spike of “follow for follow” as well as “like for like” until Twitter popped up in 2007. I didn’t realize it still was a thing for users still.
    I am recently new to blogging, and I find this shocking concidering that this is how people do get their views.
    I know for me, It didn’t matter if someone wanted to start Internet war if I didn’t follow them back. Lol. I carried onto my posts, and they carried on to reading or unfollowing me. Either way, I still posted. πŸ˜‡

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  116. Thanks for this post. Like so many others, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look at the stats and hope for more likes, follows and comments (preferably really specific ones about my content, along with my general awesomeness). But the truth is that as delighted as I am when someone makes a comment that tells me they really “got” something that I wrote, I’m equally disappointed when I dig in to find that a like/string of likes, follow, and/or (usually generic) comment is just a ploy to get me to do follow back — withough any regard to whether my writing strikes a real chord or whether theirs does for me. How did we get here?

    Liked by 2 people

    • We got here with technology…. that made connecting quicker than humanly possible. There’s always a downside and an upside to change. I hope it settles down a bit and peeps appreciate the beauty of real connection tho! Thanks for stopping by Darla πŸ’›

      Like

  117. Haha … I have observed such superhuman abilities as well. I think, WordPress App also made it easy to give quick likes instead of even visiting the pages. This is something like an “Attention” button followed by a “Follow”. πŸ™‚

    I am following you not with an expectation of a follow-back but because you have cool articles on your site! I also shared this post on StumbleUpon.

    It was a pleasure reading your post. Have a wonderful weekend ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! I do enjoy seeing the lighter side of life! The app definitely makes it easy for those super humans. Thank you for your kind words and the follow. Have a great weekend. πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  118. Thanks for this. I only started blogging a few weeks ago and I must admit the likes/follows have been causing me a bit of stress and confusion. I write for myself because I realised I found writing relaxing and enjoyable. As a socially anxious person, dipping my toe into social media and beginning to interact via blogs is an attempt to build my confidence in the non-digital world. I find I’m facing similar anxieties, though – does anyone think I’m any good? Are they just out to get likes for themselves? What if I don’t reciprocate the like? What will people think of me? You have reminded me why I started blogging and reassured me it’s ok to take it slowly and enjoy interactions rather than getting carried away with “likes”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Dizzy for sharing here! Blogging can be a wonderful way of being in the moment, and the letting it go. It is so dynamic. One moment you have an interaction about something you share an interest in, and the next you are reading something new. Its is always moving forward … and reminds us to do the same. Good luck πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  119. This was a good read. I am also in process of setting up site. I am so new to this electronical world. But I’m going to follow you. I think I may even try to share this one with my 14 yr old daughter. For obvious reasons. I have more to say or share but I’m currently on my phone and it’s not the best for typing. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  120. As someone who is involved with writing and publishing for a living, my blog is just a place to reflect and write words that will inspire me. I hope that my authenticity will help me connect with like minded individuals and I don’t care if that is 1,000 or just five.

    Liked by 2 people

  121. This was insightful, and something I never really considered before. But you’re right, there is an influx of “follow me” on social media. I wonder how many people are actually reading the posts they are liking. Thanks for posting this.

    Liked by 1 person

  122. I don’t think it’s a wrong thing unless not read the post or just to a new follower. everyone Wants to have their words read and appreciated,it’s human nature.

    Liked by 1 person

  123. As a new blogger, and anxious to establish an audience, this has been most encouraging and ‘grounding’. I’m thinking…Stop, Pause, and reflect on what I really think, feel and want to say. Important to enter the blogging space with a sense of authenticity and a vision which is related to that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I appreciate your share her Amanda … and the clarity of your thinking. Keep reaching out to others and find people who you feel a connection to. The rest will happen πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  124. So glad I came across this post. As a new blogger (two posts whoo hoo!) I have been googling “how to get more followers” and how to install a “like” button on my blog pages. Write to write not get followers will be my new motto.

    Liked by 2 people

  125. I can relate to many aspects in this article. My sensitive, insecure and addictive personality makes it difficult to connect with people. Reading and writing gives me an energy and peace of mind that I cannot find in other areas of my life. Five weeks ago, I decided to combine 2 of my passions that are Cricket and writing into a blog on the sport. I have posted 25 articles in this time! I am starting to be drawn into an obsession to post many articles to stay current with a view to increase ‘likes’ and ‘followers’ and to help improve my ego. Great thought provoking article Val. More time is needed for me to reflect and read interesting articles from the blogging community to broaden my mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  126. I think some people are looking for that reciprocation and or validation with numbers. Others maybe good and fast readers. And many are suffering from the instagram syndrome. See it, like it and move on.

    Liked by 2 people

  127. Oh totally get this! I’ve experienced this mindset in my Flickr, you tube and WordPress sites. People click like but they haven’t read what I’ve written. It’s so apparent the scrolling through and clicking likes that people do in order to get the reciprocal back.
    I don’t understand that. If everyone did this then we may as well not put content in our blogs if we are going to get a like over nothing.
    I’ve had a few ion you tube who have actually messaged me to state they subscribed to my channel and expect me to do the same. Oh and let me tell you about the ones who put comments and expect you to comment on their videos. Why would I subscribe or comment unless I truly enjoy watching?
    I appreciate a true reader who actually wants to read or view any day, way above having large numbers of likes etc.

    Liked by 2 people

  128. You see am a new blogger and am trying to get myself noticed and maybe that where I can lose the true reason why I started this blog ( to express ) thank you for this because it remind me of the why 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  129. The current generation wants quick results without investing anything. They want instant success. They fail to understand that life is all about living and enjoying the process that takes you to the end result.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Ronny. I would counter by saying that the younger generation were given everything by their boomer parents. They didn’t need to find value or invest, because it came to them. What we give out, comes back. It’s so interesting how value shift through the generations πŸ’›

      Like

  130. As a new blogger, I’ve found myself falling into this trap. My blog is entirely for me, though I hope I can inspire at least one person along the way. I have a lifestyle blog with a “fashion” section, but I use that term loosely because it’s MY fashion, meaning a depiction of what I wear on a normal basis. My favorite thing to do is write, but I’m also a little skittish when it comes to talking about true feelings for the fear of judgement. This post is extremely important to me right now. I love reading about what other people have to say, what they feel, what they want, etc. Maybe people should just do the same and appreciate their blog for what it is…a safe space to really be yourself. Be proud of what you made because only you made it, and there’s only one you. Hold the loose likes and desperate follows. Thank you for the inspiration today, I really needed it!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I’m so glad this resonated with you Cat. We all go through stages in life … and in our blogging. Self expression comes first. Getting in touch with what is important to us, and our needs and feelings comes next. It’s part of our evolution. God luck with your blog. May you impotent others along the way πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  131. I’m trying to only like what I’ve read and truly do like, follow only blogs that interest me. It is a very slow start and sometimes that might make others worry. So they start liking and following a bunch of different things in hope that it will make their blog take off. Most people want instant gratification, it’s nice to do something and immediately get praise and recognition. But I think on something like this, it’s more like the turtle beating the hare.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Slow and steady wins many races WW! Thank you for adding to the conversation. Be prepared to make mistakes and change your position along the way! I started off wanting to connect with older bloggers … and I found out I was missing out on some talented youngsters out there!

      Liked by 1 person

  132. I’ve definitely noticed this. The thing is, I’m a new blogger as well, but I joined this community to connect and read and learn about everyone’s lives and interests and stories. I look for motivation and try to motivate. When I post something and get a like in the first few minutes (not that I actually get that many likes) I feel like I’m not really achieving what I mean to achieve, which is to have people actually read my blog, and comment and help me along the way. I know that’s going to take some time, but I also know that some people like and follow once never to be seen again, whereas some people stick by my blog and are the ones that regularly like my blog, and that way at least I know that someone somewhere is reading my blog.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you for sharing here Who’sBlue. Keep connecting with others who also like to give and take. I have found keeping my posts and comments short brings more interactions. The attention span of many bloggers isn’t very long… I think it’s because there is so much out there to get to next. Good luck πŸ’›

      Like

  133. Hi Val, congrats on getting pressed by WP! A valuable post and lessons for all bloggers! In the last several months I’ve had over 300 followers to my site (yay!), but well over half were sites that had nothing in them, perhaps a spam site. I can tell too, when my post appears in the reader, that someone just skimmed and hit like. That’s fine and all, but I do like to engage with readers and in turn, do so on their blog. We all have something to say or we wouldn’t have said it!!

    Liked by 2 people

  134. Totally agree with what you have said in your post! The influence of Facebook “like” button makes everyone thinks like that. I remember I watched an episode of Black Mirror serious, it talks about how the social media “likes” turns human into a form of slavery. Everyone has a points and people don’t get close to those who has low points. Very sad but it seems like the society is moving towards to that trend.

    Liked by 2 people

  135. Well said Val. I haven’t been on WordPress long. I thought it was purely a platform to put your thoughts out there. So glad to see its more about like minded people ‘visiting’ to exchange experiences and expressions.

    Liked by 2 people

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  137. I just started blogging and before I even started I knew that what I ever I posted or wrote was because I wanted to and I liked it. I find blogging to be a great way of expressing myself and I love it! This post just made me feel even better – thank you!

    Liked by 2 people

  138. Pingback: Who Are You Writing For? Blogger Val Boyko Looks Beyond the “Like” Button | Discover·

  139. Great post… in my opinion, when anybody starts a blog mostly they try to learn different techniques to get traffic and followers to their site…if you go through the article writing section of any freelancing site there are employers who want you to write 2 to 3 articles per day for their blog. So, i guess it’s just working as a business for them

    Liked by 2 people

  140. Last few lines were Harsh…!!! But so True..!!! But wts d solutions den.??!! I mean give n take is what life has turned out to be in this era. May be the people who do dt want to create a relationship by liking or following you if u have done it from ur side..??!!! I don’t know… I mean how else can we try starting a conversation or relation here on Wp…??!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  141. I really like this site. It hits close to home for me as I am always looking for more of a spiritual path to take. This happened to be the post I opened but looking around and reading through some of the other comments really has me feeling like I am sitting comfortably talking with friends. I myself just started an all natural health blog and I will admit I was trying to figure out how to get some followers but I think I will take a more relaxed natural way to go about it. You gave me insight and made me realize this is really the best way. Thanks so much!

    Liked by 1 person

  142. I truly do enjoy reading other’s blog posts. There are just so many different things to learn from everyone. I can’t say I agree with all opinions but I love to read about them!

    Liked by 2 people

  143. IT’S going on because people are involved in a rat-race of making money,fame etc through affiliate marketing,advertisements on their blogs etc.which definately gets a boost due to likes,followers.but it has also taken blogging to a next level of a business opportunity, if u express your ideas in a right way!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  144. Thanks for the tips. I’m a new blogger and noticed this. I have a few new followers. They like my things, so I read their things and like. It’s a ton, so I’m glad to know I’m not expected to like everything. I enjoy connecting to what I read.

    Liked by 2 people

  145. It can be an intimidating thing to expose ourselves in any situation, but there is a permanency to blogging that is both invigorating and terrifying when it comes to expressing ourselves authentically.

    Liked by 2 people

    • And yet, it is over in an instant! As soon as it is read, it is over. People move on to the next post so quickly. We learn to let go and not become attached to what we write. Go with the flow Jenna, and enjoy the ride πŸ’›

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  146. Totally agree with what you say here!! It makes me laugh when the flurry of likes come and they clearly haven’t read the post, especially when its a pretty hard read as mine tend to be that you couldn’t just scan and then like. I read what i am interested in, and then like it if i found something that i liked or related to within the post! Anyway, thank you for this post!!

    Liked by 2 people

  147. Hi. Really interesting reading for a new blogger like me. It’s taken me a lot of courage to blog. Now it has become catharthis. It helps me. And I hope what I write will help others. Yes, I am looking for recognition and acknowledment. I do find it weird when people like my article, but don’t respond to any questions I’ve posted in the article. I’m looking for interaction and connection. Perhaps, I’m looking in the wrong place? I’m not sure. You’ve made me think about it.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Im so glad you found your courage πŸ’› As a reader I know that a part of me wants to connect to more than “someone” or “anonymous”. Getting a sense of who the other person is invites connection. Hiding behind anonymity creates a barrier. Some bloggers choose a pseudonym and I think that works better. Hope you don’t mind the feedback. πŸ™

      Like

  148. I have to agree that gone were the days where blogs were expression of ones inner most feelings or experiences. Where people take time to read your blog and make a comment in relations to the contents.

    Today it feels like blogging is for a like or a follow. With an expectation of a few. Cheers!

    Like

  149. I love this post. I’m new to blogging and have been paroozing some of the WP tip pages….and read that if I’m just blogging and not reading, I’m missing out on a huge part of what makes blogging fun. So I did some searches and stumbled on this. I like it. A lot! WP was right, I have been missing out. Thanks for the post.

    Liked by 1 person

  150. This was one of the most thought provoking blog posts I have read on WordPress. Thanks so much for sharing Val. The truth is I think most of us can relate to it. For me the message is about slowing down and blogging for pleasure. This summer I have posted a lot and not thought too much about people’s reactions or how many likes I would receive for my posts. It has put me back in contact with why I write and now when I receive people’s positive feedback it is just a happy bonus.

    Liked by 1 person

  151. I’m relatively new to blogging. I’m really enjoying it and enjoy reading other peoples posts. I don’t just comment and like so that people do the same for me. I was very excited about the idea of being part of a blogging community and connecting with some new people. Unfortunately I just don’t generally find that many other people see it that way.

    Liked by 1 person

  152. I’ve only been blogging for a week and I’m a nervous beginner. There is a conscious effort being made to keep myself from hitting the Like button too much. Since I enjoy reading that’s what I’ve been doing on here. I’m like a sponge and excited to find like-minded people in one very large grouping. Sure I like encouragement and reassurance but I most definitely don’t think I’ll benefit from false likes. Thanks for sharing and the Like I gave you was sincere. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  153. I love this! It’s just what I needed. I’ve been blogging for a few months now and, at first, I was doing it for fun and to find my voice. I started off with quite an IDGAF attitude. I was pleased to see that the results were decent. I would get a few likes and new follows here and there, but then this somehow grew my expectations and I started feeling a bit pressured, like I should try more. When I noticed this change in mindset, I started dreading writing or publishing new posts. I started struggling to make sure I wouldn’t pander or betray myself in future posts in this underlying hope to cater to my followers or attract new ones; I became more self-conscious, realizing that I was getting fewer views or likes or new followers on my newer posts. I am trying not to stray from my main goal to write for myself primarily, and then I could attract like-minded people who enjoy my sense of humor and like to ponder aloud with me. It’s not about the number of followers, but who your followers are, so there can be a sense of community. Even though I internally knew this, it’s always nice to be reminded extrinsically, so thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  154. Your perspective is so refreshing! I love the way you approach the concept of sharing what we do. I didn’t start sharing my writing because I wanted to be known, I did it because I wanted people to know. To know that what they are facing isn’t something unheard of. To know that other people feel the same way. To know that they have a community of people if they reach out. This was such an encouragement as I know that many people that do read my blog aren’t socially engaged in the blogging world, but simply reading for the connection.

    Liked by 1 person

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  156. Interesting perspective…I just recently embarked on the blogging badwagon and can see where that happens…I’m not a writer but enjoy reading thoughtful, reflective and vulnerable posts. I don’t know if I even know what it means to get followers in the blogging world but I guess it’s good to keep the ego in check. I do know I enjoy when something I’ve written makes others stop and think or relate in some way…kinda like your post did for me. And following helps me find the ones I like to read!

    Liked by 1 person

  157. I really loved this post. I have just recently started blogging, so I am literally starting from the ground up. Of course in my generation of social media you want instant reciprocation because you see how people who have worked so hard to gain their likes and followers are doing, but we don’t necessarily want to work that hard. We want the quick and easy rise to many followers and likes without not always doing the work. I want to read and absorb the information of bloggers as to better help my blogging as well work on myself as a person. I hope in doing this I will gain followers, but until that day I will be here working hard to better myself and my abilities!

    Liked by 1 person

  158. I see what you mean by this, but I would have to disagree with such statement. Maybe, it’s because we blog about different things, and I’m sure you’re right on most parts, but still.

    I started my blog because I wanted to be a writer. I know, very ambitious for a teenager, and like what you said, I crave validations. I want people to read my stories and emphasize with me. I want more and more people to read my writings (Although I have no one so far) because stories are there to be told.

    Now, you were 100% correct when you wrote that it might be my ego running the blog instead of authentic self. Who doesn’t crave love, validations, and interests from others? Sometimes when we don’t get enough love from our physical surroundings, we revert to online ones.

    I guess what insta trying to say is that this topic really depends op what people post. Thank you for writing this post and provoking discussions!!

    Liked by 1 person

  159. Hi. Thanks a lot for this . I have started blogging very recently and to be honest, you caught me ..writing is my passion but is stays passion only when I write for myself. I was getting deviated . But I will hold up.and whenever I will feel distracted by the less followers or likes.. I will come back and read this. I will save this . Thanks again.

    Liked by 1 person

  160. Oh boy, the like-for-like thing. Yeah. Sigh.

    Reciprocal blogging seems to be a sub-niche all of its own these days. There are Facebook Groups set up, with tens of thousands of members, solely so people can swap comments and like each other’s blog posts. I was looking at one today: the latest post was a “name and shame” of anyone who had posted something without first Liking or commenting on the required 20 other bloggers in a articular thread. It was fake engagement policing.

    Easy to ignore, but – I find it so depressing, because acquiring those likes and those comments and those shares is exactly how you get good enough to earn more of them.

    If you post something and it gets zero engagement, you did something wrong – or at least, you could have done it a lot better. That’s the feedback you need to get better at this blogging lark. It’s the equivalent of a rejection letter that gives you a few tips about how your story went wrong. That stuff is solid. gold. for new writers. And bypassing it feels to me like blogging suicide.

    Anyway. No problems on your blog, clearly. πŸ™‚ Hi Val. I’m an Englishman (with a Scottish Ma, from Fortrose near Inverness) currently living in Costa Rica. Hope you don’t mind me following this blog – I promise I’m not a spammer….

    Liked by 1 person

  161. I just started blogging some days ago .. and I noticed the exact same thing. I didnt start this Blog for this .. I started blogging because I want to Write and Share my journey. Thank you for highlighting the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  162. I have so much respect for your post. This is why I created my first blog (again). I started blogging last year I purchased my new laptop just because I remembered how much I enjoyed writing, and relating to others. then I got hit with the “social media validation bug” It turned into something that I hated doing because it was work. If I don’t get a post out soon people would think that I forgot about my blog, or i would become “less popular” or I have to keep posting to stay on top of the “newsfeed” and remain “relevant”, after all of that madness, I quit. it wasn’t enjoyable for me anymore. Until today, I redirected my blog discussing expectation vs doing something simply because it is something that you want to do and it makes you happy. and not doing something because it is expected. (sorry for the terrible grammar, I just got really excited and wanted to comment because everything you said is SPOT ON with today’s generation).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Jess for sharing your insight. There is a lot we can learn about ourselves as we grow as bloggers … and humans. I’m glad you are getting a sense of what’s important as you move through life’s highs and lows πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  163. This is such a nice post, I’m so new to blogging and I hope I can stay true to myself and not get caught up in numbers and false friendships and connections. I have a feeling I’ll have to keep coming back to this post for a reminder! Thank you so much for this post!

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  164. Excellent advice. I’ve often wondered the same thing.. Are people really reading my whole post or do they just like it without going all the way through it.. I would hope they are reading it because I, like y’all, put a lot of work into posts and would love feedback, but that can only be offered if you’ve read the entire post. Thanks for sharing and happy blogging. πŸ™‹πŸ¦

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  165. I couldn’t agree more with this post. I am new to blogging but fortunately, or unfortunately, I am no longer at the height of my youth. As such, I am able to reflect on a lot of these things and thoroughly agree that writing should be a form of expression. Whatever that expression may be. More importantly, the connection between bloggers should be fostered on the basis of sharing and identifying similar views. Hopefully we can all continue to interact, sharing our own views and exchanging new ideas.

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  166. Thank you so much for this. I started blogging a few weeks ago and I started a small business about two months ago. It is so easy to get caught up in the number of “likes”, “follows”, etc. which makes me forget the reason I started all of this. I came across your post at the perfect time. I have already come back to this a few times just to re-read it. This is definitely something I will always keep tucked in my back pocket as I continue my new endeavors.

    Liked by 1 person

  167. I see what you mean. Em and I are “new” bloggers ourselves (new to WordPress and this blog, that is; we’ve had two old blogs together, one that we became uninterested in and the other which she dropped out of that I still run). I’ve wondered why I wanted to blog, and I’m happy to say that it is because I want to share more of myself and to be in this amazing blogging community (the other blog I have is strictly a book blog, and I wanted to show more about my life somewhere else). I have worried when someone likes a whole bunch of our posts, but I’m reassured when I see that they’ve also commented and read our new posts as well. But I have come along people who just want me to check out their blog, and out of politeness I do, but I find that I don’t keep up with theirs because I know what their main goal is. I know this comment is long but I really think this is an important post for you to write and share. Thank you for this. –J

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  168. This post came at just the right time as I am just starting my blog. I’m completely new to this. I started it to get my thoughts out there and am continuing to do so. Making connections should be my priority and it is. Thank you

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  169. I am really new to everything about blogging but here am I, wanting to learn πŸ™‚

    please visit my blog. I’m a beginner and this is for my school purpose, specifically my project. It is a pleasure for me if you do so. I hope you will enjoy reading and hope you will learn something about it. Click the picture or the title of the post for you to see the comment text box. So, Feel free to comment if you have any suggestions or what, or even like it and just explore πŸ™‚ thanks and God Bless.

    https://baiiiii.wordpress.com/

    Liked by 2 people

  170. I’m glad I read this post. I’ve recently made a blog (like yesterday, haha), but I’ve struggled to create a blog earlier in my life with the intent of external validation. Now that I’m older, it’s much easier to put that aside. Thanks for reminding me.

    Liked by 3 people

  171. I actually realllly like this, as a new blogger I love being quite honest and truly enjoy having a space to release my reflection of life. Social media seems to always be the “f4f” or “l4l”. There’s more to life than likes, if the material I post touches one person it warms me. It wouldn’t mean as much if they were only doing it for the like, or follow–societal cravings for attention suck!

    Liked by 2 people

  172. I’ve only been blogging a short time but I’ve noticed the same thing (flurry of likes then a follow). No way anyone can read that fast πŸ™‚ I’m hoping to get plugged into the blogging community and make real connections. Thanks for the good read.

    Liked by 2 people

  173. Thank you for this message. I have just started my wordpress account and aim to reflect on my thoughts and experiences to assist me in my personal growth specifically as a women as well as the help others in their personal growth. I have been writing in a journal for a few years but I want to use this platform to share and gain ideas that will help in my growth and my personal journey. I love to write especially a out interesting thoughts and phiosophies. I am unsure who exactly I am targeting or if there is a target audience for what I plan to include on my blog but I am excited to take on this new challenge.

    Liked by 2 people

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