One day on vacation in Italy things didn’t go as planned.
It wasn’t the morning of the flat tire … or any of the other days of missed turnings. It wasn’t ordering the wrong item on the menu. It was the day I started to feel sick at all the bends in the road. Literally queazy and sick. Trying to navigate while on a roller coaster will do that!
I blamed the roads, the driver, and the need for map reading as the GPS was in some other part of the country with the same name! This blanket of negativity started to wrap itself around me. I felt miserable. I stepped into the self righteousness that comes with being put upon and I embraced it. In doing so I became a miserable person and a miserable passenger to be sure.
On reflection, I can see things so clearly. Here are my insights from this experience.
Life energy, essence or source is always within us and around us.
Yet sometimes we feel miserable and think that life sucks.
It is our thinking that makes it so.
When we feel hurt, we go into our head and more thoughts take over.
Our hearts become guarded as we lose touch with our own essence and sense of Presence.
We cannot fully connect to ourselves .. or others.
There is interference in the force.
Our life energy is blocked.
We become defensive, judgmental, withdrawn and irritable.
There is no grace or gratitude in this place, because we know – by this pain and sacrifice – that we are right!
Our heart closes more as our thinking ego casts blame and seeks retribution, and to find any way to end this endless perceived agony of discomfort!
We feel miserable and don’t stop to understand. We try to figure it out in our heads but get tangled up in a web of thoughts and further judgments.
And then in a quiet moment we are able to step back …. and we know.
We know that this is of our own creation.
This is the time to come into the present moment. Step back. And plug in to our deeper self and inner wisdom.
Let the life energy flow.
Feel what needs to be felt and hear what needs to be heard.
Be with it.
Letting go so we can open our hearts once more.
For me, I got out my yoga mat. Sat in meditation, focusing on my breathing and feeling my sitz bones grounding me. Spine tall. Heart open. Breathing slowly.
The thinking slows. The body relaxes. The witness takes over from “me”.
Then moving into child’s pose until my body feels the same grounding and sense of connection too.
Slowing moving with grace and gratitude in full realization of the highs and lows of this life.
Letting the life energy flow.
We lose touch with our Selves and don’t know it until we realize we feel miserable. The real lesson for me is to be mindful enough to recognize this as it emerges.
So true how it spirals downhill in those steps…just like that..’This blanket of negativity started to wrap itself around me. I felt miserable. I stepped into the self righteousness that comes with being put upon and I embraced it.’ Val…the dog on the dock…can you provide details re that image?
Thank you Gary for concurring on the shared experience of misery 🙂
I came across this image in Google, and it reminded me so much of my smallest Welsh Terrier – Dilys. She loves the water so. If we had a dock, she would sit and look out just like that. Taking in all the beauty, being one with her surroundings … and being ever alert to movement of critters at the edge of her vision!
Nothing like a sitz to settle the negative. Did the carsick feeling “hit the road” once you jettisoned your spiraling thoughts?
🙂 Nancy x
The carsick feeling was still there on later trips … but I was able to request slowing down and stopping to enjoy the views!
Yes, surrendering in the child’s pose has been a simple powerful way to remind myself to accept things as they are. When I get out of my own way, everything flows more smoothly.
In most yoga studios, the teachers know to leave alone anyone in child’s pose. (No forced head stands!)
How can we do that pose in a car hurtling over twisted roads when we’re uncomfortable? Even if we could, would the driver understand?
That would take some doing in the car wouldn’t it! Taking full deep breaths and opening the window helps. As well as stopping to enjoy the beauty of the surroundings.
Thank you for sharing here, I appreciate it!
Wonderful post Val! Allowing my feelings without judging them is something I have to always remember to do, just surrender them.
Thanks for the great words of wisdom! 🙂
Peace to you ~ Allison
Thank you Allison! ❤
Such a great post, Val, about our own blocking of the energy flow and then wondering why it all goes to crap 🙂
You got it Kim! Thank you for taking the time to comment. 🙂
Great post Val, so filled with deep insight about how you are function and how it is so easy to let the bad thoughts grow and take over any kind of reality.
Thanks for sharing and being so good to inspire other souls 😉
Thank you Irene for your wisdom and kind words – as always!
Wonderfully honest story. I can so relate to this. And I’m glad that you were able to live with being slightly queasy and still enjoyed the sights. Sometimes we have to slow down a little to get the most out of the day, no matter how beautiful our surroundings.
Yes indeed. Thank you for your kind words!
Definitely Val, realizing it is half, probably more than half, the battle, don’t you think? Thanks for sharing your vulnerability in this post. ❤
Realizing is waking up to what is really happening … and I think it is one of the most powerful things we can do in our own personal growth and evolution. Thank you Diana for your empathy and understanding, as always.
Feeling sick makes awareness quite a challenge…but as you so wisely note here, the rewards come when the sickness is gone and you realize that you did not resist, but accepted each moment as a precious and needed friend. May the rest of your vacation be filled with health, safety, and peace.
Thanks for your empathy and inspiring words ISWH.
Its hard when we are feeling unwell or in pain. Its a real challenge for me! I’m back and SO enjoying my routine of teaching yoga, planning workshops and a teacher training program in the Fall. I love traveling … and I love my home life. I get to find my Middle Ground every day 🙂
Hi Val…oh!! The terrible thoughts! I am amazed that the deeper I go into my awareness….I can still have days that are “icky!” And I know why they are icky…and I know I need to change my thinking…but some days it is just so hard!!! Perfect idea…I will break out the yoga mat and see if I can change the energy next time it happens.
So glad this resonated with you Lorrie! Move that energy through you and allow our heart to be open once more. Let me know how it goes. Sending heartfelt energy your way ❤
Thanks Val…I wiil!