This is a re-blog of a post that is a handy reference on human needs – and how important they are to ensure that we get them met. As we continue through these difficult times, more and more stress and distress will impact us all. May we all get our needs met and Find our Middle Ground.

Every human being has needs. It is part of the human condition. We were born with them and will go through most of our lives trying to get them met. When our needs are met we can fully access our humanity. Bringing compassion and kindness to ourselves and others.

Over the years as a life coach, I took several courses in Non Violent Communication. In NVC, needs are acknowledged and embraced. There is a vulnerable beauty behind our needs. The essence of who we are as human beings.

There are three groups of core needs that once we identify, we can honor: WELL BEING – SELF EXPRESSION – CONNECTION. Needs get a bad wrap…. but they shouldn’t. The more we recognize them, the more we can evolve and grow as human beings.

We often aren’t aware of our own needs, and it can be a powerful self-discovery to identify the ones that are most important to each of us. The needs below are grouped into the three categories. Pause for a moment and identify what needs resonate with you personally:

man deep relaxed breathing

Health and Sustenance
Safety and Security
Celebration of life

joyful girl

Self actualization

Loving Connection


Here is a self inquiry exercise to explore your needs more. Take a moment and ask yourself:

What am I grateful for?


What needs are being met when I feel grateful?

Now think of a time when you were upset, possibly at work or with a family member…


What needs were not being met?

In all likelihood it would be about recognition, respect and a sense of belonging.

Needs drive us and are essential for our well being. When our needs are being met it opens the door to be in connection with ourselves and with others.

We come to see there is no need to judge ourselves or others any more.

We are more able to center ourselves in our Middle Ground and handle the the highs and lows of life.


21 comments on “I’m Not Needy – I Just Have Needs

  1. Love this post! Thanks for re-sharing. Always a good reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So important to get this right. Great post Val πŸ’•πŸ’šπŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A very interesting practice to connect gratitude, upset and needs. I hope to remember and ask this question next time an upset happens.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post, Val, and much to ponder and practice. πŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A beautiful reminder Val. Sometimes we get so busy in our lives that we forget we have needs that need to be fulfilled. I know that in the past when I wasn’t taking care of my needs I wasn’t very good taking care of other people’s either.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Conversations on this very topic, these days. Important distinction, too: needs met vs needy. Liberating vs strangling. Nobody likes feeling that empty, I would imagine. And from the other side, eww. πŸ˜‰πŸ™β€οΈ

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love this! Such a well grounded post.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. One of the greatest gift I received was when a certain neediness of mine was validated by a teacher explaining my humanness in it. It suddenly created a great shift for me – from feeling a weakness to a power of sovereignty. Healing was more accessible from that place. Some basic needs are our right. Your post is very important and might be as life-changing for some.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. seems right on target; it’s usually not a lack of material needs that get us upset…


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