I’m Not Needy – I Just Have Needs

This is a re-blog of a post that is a handy reference on human needs – and how important they are to ensure that we get them met. As we continue through these difficult times, more and more stress and distress will impact us all. May we all get our needs met and Find our Middle Ground.


Every human being has needs. It is part of the human condition. We were born with them and will go through most of our lives trying to get them met. When our needs are met we can fully access our humanity. Bringing compassion and kindness to ourselves and others.

Over the years as a life coach, I took several courses in Non Violent Communication. In NVC, needs are acknowledged and embraced. There is a vulnerable beauty behind our needs. The essence of who we are as human beings.

There are three groups of core needs that once we identify, we can honor: WELL BEING – SELF EXPRESSION – CONNECTION. Needs get a bad wrap…. but they shouldn’t. The more we recognize them, the more we can evolve and grow as human beings.

We often aren’t aware of our own needs, and it can be a powerful self-discovery to identify the ones that are most important to each of us. The needs below are grouped into the three categories. Pause for a moment and identify what needs resonate with you personally:

man deep relaxed breathing

WELL BEING
Health and Sustenance
Thriving
Vitality
Safety and Security
Stability
Rest
Peace
Acceptance
Gratitude
Balance
Celebration of life

joyful girl

SELF EXPRESSION
Autonomy/Freedom
Authenticity
Inspiration
Passion
Meaning
Contribution
Learning
Growth
Skill/Mastery
Self actualization

Loving Connection

CONNECTION
Love/caring
Compassion
Empathy/Understanding
Communication
Respect
Acceptance
Recognition
Community
Belonging
Relationship
Trust

Here is a self inquiry exercise to explore your needs more. Take a moment and ask yourself:

What am I grateful for?

Then

What needs are being met when I feel grateful?

Now think of a time when you were upset, possibly at work or with a family member…

Then

What needs were not being met?

In all likelihood it would be about recognition, respect and a sense of belonging.

Needs drive us and are essential for our well being. When our needs are being met it opens the door to be in connection with ourselves and with others.

We come to see there is no need to judge ourselves or others any more.

We are more able to center ourselves in our Middle Ground and handle the the highs and lows of life.

Namaste

Inner Spaciousness

 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~ Viktor E. Frankl

The pause between our reaction to an external stimuli and how we choose to respond is essential in our evolution as human beings. Otherwise we react instinctively from our animal brain.

Space allows us to be open to choose our response

Gives the time for deep full breaths with long exhales.

There is more here than clearing the mind

Being present to our inner state

Reduces clutter and brings clarity.

Space allows for expansion

Learning to be observers without judgment.

In this space our life energy flows through our being

Mind, body and spirit connect

Drawn to the light of inner freedom

Namaste

 

Inner Spaciousness

 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~ Viktor E. Frankl

The pause between our reaction to an external stimuli and how we choose to respond is essential in our evolution as human beings. Otherwise we react instinctively from our animal brain.

Space allows us to be open to choose our response

Gives the time for deep full breaths with long exhales.

There is more here than clearing the mind

Being present to our inner state

Reduces clutter and brings clarity.

Space allows for expansion

Learning to be observers without judgment.

In this space our life energy flows through our being

Mind, body and spirit connect

Drawn to the light of inner freedom

Namaste

 

True Detachment

“Detachment is like flying high: the higher you fly, the wider a landscape you are able to view.

But when you are unable to fly beyond the limited realities of your daily life, you are like a person who is confined to a narrow cell, unable to enjoy the expansion of nature…

True detachment from the world becomes possible when there is increasing attachment to the Divine Self within one’s heart.”

~ Swami Jyotirmayananda. Taken from “Yoga Gems” edited by Georg Feuerstein

I think we all want to have the feeling of flying high and seeing beyond every day reality. To connect to something beyond our daily life.
Yet, its easy to get confused between true detachment and putting up barriers to the world around us. Some of us may retreat and withdraw from life, rather than engaging in it and touching what is deep within us.

We must continue to connect to our heart. To the loving Source within us. Otherwise it becomes a mind driven practice of witness consciousness, that keeps us confined, rather than sets us free.

Namaste

* The Unknown Part of You

oneness

Awaken to the unknown part of you

That sits in the shadows,

That roars from the mountain top.

Embrace its cries in the dead of night,

The unfathomable dreams.

It is the yearning in us all

To be free from separation.

* Are you doing yoga or is yoga doing you?

mindful yoga

Yoga Doing Y0u

Let postures flow,
movement as natural
as moonrise,
being without doing.

Go right to the edge,
to the spark within
each breath, and inquire
into the awareness that
underlies the stretch.

Release the small me
clamoring to be seen,
and experience the
emptiness beneath,
the boundaries
expanse of freedom.

This leap outside
a fixed identity,
this free fall into truth
is, very simply,
yoga doing you.

~ Danna Faulds

 

This is mindful yoga.

Allowing mind body and spirit to align and move. Releasing the ego and small me. Embracing the present moment as each one unfolds.

Namaste

* Haiku – freedom

inner freedom

~

Love, joy, peace of mind

Find them in your Middle Ground

Freedom is waiting

~

If you are new to this site – Welcome!

To explore more about finding your Middle Ground please click here.

* Flow into Your Being

awaken into being

~

Find Your Middle Ground

Beyond the limits of time

Connecting through space

 ~

Touching you right here.

It only takes a moment

to pause and connect.

~

Let the warm embrace 

of the divine universe

flow into your being.

~

Knowing you are one

Put aside the anguished self

Set your Self free

How many times do we need to hear this? … So many.

How many times do we need to live by this? … Only once.

Each of us in our own time. 💛

* Ego is Like a Block of Ice

melting ice cube

So many of us hate our ego, our inner critic and judge. We want to get rid of it so we can evolve into more spiritual beings.
This inner violence (yes it is!) only reinforces the ego’s survival instincts. It will find an other way and grow stronger faced with adversity…. and the battle continues.

Does it really have to be like this? Here is an other approach that is cool and refreshing 💙

“Think of ego as a great block of ice.

When you slug ego, you play by its hurtful and pain-inducing rules. You bruise your knuckles and grow angrier each time you slug it.

But when you hug ice, it has no choice: it must gradually disappear.

Not immediately, no; but if you persist, it will melt, will it not?

This is precisely how it works to rid yourself of ego.

Hug it and it melts away.

And what remains is the oceanic freedom that is the pinnacle of human existence—the freedom to live, to love, and to be loved.

At a personal level it is pure self-love and joy; at a collective level it is a peace that can save our beloved planet and grace all the peoples of the world.”*

Dr David Mutchler

I have read many different approaches to dealing with ego on our spiritual journey. This is one that really resonates because it comes from the heart and not just the intellect.

How easy it is to forget that ego likes to hide in our mind and our thinking …

Namaste

*Taken from https://evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com/hug-ego-dont-slug-it/

If this perspective fascinates you, and you want to explore more deeply,  I would highly recommend checking out the amazing resources at David Mutchler’s WordPress blog Evolutionary Mystic.

* Escape to Inner Freedom

These words from D H Lawrence are so empowering for all of us who struggle with our egos. Going beyond our own limited definition of self is a scary place to go… yet its where we will find our true freedom and power.

Spring is the perfect time to break free and awaken into action with these provoking words!

escape into the woods

Escape 

“When we get out of the glass bottles of our ego,
and when we escape like squirrels turning in the
cages of our personality
and get into the forests again,
we shall shiver with cold and fright
but things will happen to us
so that we don’t know ourselves.

Cool, unlying life will rush in,
and passion will make our bodies taut with power,
we shall stamp our feet with new power
and old things will fall down,
we shall laugh, and institutions will curl up like
burnt paper.

* Haiku – Incubate

From September 19th – September 28th I will be at Kripalu for the next module of my YTT 500 yoga teacher training.  I will be on a retreat from social media as I take time to connect inwards. 🙂

flying bird

~

Find your Middle Ground

incubate inner passion

break shell and fly free

~