open and let go

“The day a child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent;

the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult;

the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.” – Alden Nowlan

forgive and let go

Much has been written about forgiveness – forgiving others for an offense or hurt in the past, and forgiving ourselves for something we feel ashamed of. I wrote about the steps to forgiveness in an earlier post.

Whether its about external or internal forgiveness, it seems to come down to one important key … Our ability to let go.

I’ve discovered in my interactions and conversations with others, that the more we tend to try to control and want things in a certain way, the harder it can be to forgive.

Forgiveness and an ability to let go, seem to go hand in hand.

I wonder how this resonates with you. Do you find it relatively easy to forgive in a world that is constantly changing? Do you live in shades of colors and gray rather than black and white? Can you empathise easily with others?

Or do you find it almost impossible to forgive when you have been wronged? Do you also see the world in terms of a right way and a wrong way. Do you rush to judge others as good and bad or want to find who is to blame?

Let me know if my theory stands up in real life.

let it go

Forgiving and letting go is an act of will and an act of courage. It is also an act of love, for your self.

By letting go of the anger and resentment within you and replacing it with compassion for yourself, you become free.

Free to be fully you and at peace; no longer a victim defined by an other’s actions.

Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but you deserve peace.


38 comments on “Forgive and Let Go

  1. Depending on the severity of the act, or even my perception of it, differs from case to case. Eventually, I’ve been able to view the situation in a better light and let go and forgive, for the very reason you gave: “Forgive, not because they deserve forgiveness, but you deserve peace.”

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Easier to forgive others than self.

    I may have initial thoughts of judgment, more like a gut reaction to something. But I will ponder and ponder about things I see to try and understand. One of the things ‘we’ have often said in our work is “we don’t know the story”. My brain wants the story.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The brain will always want to be the creator of the story and therefore be in control. The next step is to go beyong the pondering and embrace what the heart and soul is saying.
      …. And there it is❣️Not thinking, but feeling 🙏🏼💞🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Val, this makes so much sense and captures the essence of my journey to and through forgiveness, “Forgiveness and an ability to let go, seem to go hand in hand.” I wasn’t aware of my apparent need to control anything for years and years. When I finally realized the ever so subtle ways I sought to control the situations in my life, I could see how much a prisoner I had become…and I alone had the keys to let me out. Great post. 🙏🏻💜

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you dear Carrie for this. Forgjveneness comes when we open our hearts and are willing to let go and become vulnerable and accepting … of ourselves first. Thank you for being here on this journey 💐🙏🏼💗

      Liked by 1 person

  4. this rings so true. I recently went with my daughter to visit my elderly ex-mother in law in an assisted living home. for many years she did not understand ‘why I abandoned her son’ and she often spoke against me to my daughters and others. when she was in her 80s, she told me she finally understood and was proud of me for creating a life of my own, away from him, and how it was best for all of us. now in her 90s, I went to see her to forgive her and myself for anything we may have done between us, as we each did the best we could at the time. it was very freeing and she was happy for the visit.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. An interesting journey until I understood my fears truly…and it was those fears that bound a belief of myself and caused all of my reactions. Understand the fear and it loses its power…literally. And it no longer mattered what is said or done, I no longer ‘react’ to those previous things. An inner peace descends, simply because in understanding me, the ‘on guard’ to my fear no longer had any place to hold me. I was free…and in understanding the fear, I could now see it in others. And where before was my reaction of anger etc, there now was an empathy and compassion because I could see others bound by their fears. It happens to us all in our own ways…so that we will have the courage to step into and understand our fears. That very act releases us and shows us what is beyond our fearful, conditional love…another love, but this one not bound by those conditions that we were. A great post dear lady, a discovery you dared to see😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The older I get, the more I realize this is the key to peace of mind. It doesn’t pay to hold onto resentments.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such words of wisdom. We learn this a little day by day.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Sicetnon3

    The day we discover there was nothing to forgive, we become children again

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great quote and post Val! 👏The amazing results I have seen after I have forgiven or watched a client do is transformative and a powerful. It’s a gift. 🧡🤗

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is a marvellous quotation, Val. Forgiveness and letting go do go hand in hand. Sometimes this involves letting go of the person as well as the offence – this can only follow true forgiveness

    Liked by 2 people

  11. From The Book of Joy:

    Forgiveness ~ Failure to forgive is akin to watching stale reruns in a furious effort to hang onto feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment. As a result, we remained trapped by the past and tethered to the person who harmed us. Forgiving the person who harmed us allows us to reclaim the keys to our happiness.

    I agree! Forgiveness benefits us as soon as we let go.

    The Book of JOY: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, written by Douglas Abrams, chronicles a week-long visit between His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu in April 2015. The visit centered on discussions about how to find Joy in the midst of obstacles like fear, stress, anger, grief, illness and death.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I completely agree with you, Val. The me long ago did not forgive, and I finally realized that life was too short to keep holding on to anger and hurt. I have discovered that by forgiving you do set yourself free, and free and happy to become the person you are meant to be.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Forgive and let it go. Life is far too short. We are all here to realize that, in John Lennon’s words, love is all there is. 🙏💕

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I usually find it easy to forgive, but sometimes I am quick to judge…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That Nowlan quote is amazing. That’s exactly how it works too. Forgiving is amazingly freeing. Beautiful post, Val.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Yes, Val…forgiveness has been a cornerstone to my healing! I’m not perfect…on fact recently I can’t tell you the bad thoughts I had about the man who had been driving when my son got hurt. Actually, my visceral response frightened me!! But…I knew that energy would not help anyone…certainly not me. And I had to be available…in all ways…to help my son heal. So…I forgave him. And it was for me…yet it was for everyone. Funny how it works like that! Jason continues to walk his journey…some days are good…some…not so much. But I know all the healing energy and prayers you and others sent…have been life altering!! Thanks my friend.
    Hope you have a wonderful week! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I love Nowlan’s quote. I have learned that forgiveness starts with understanding that most are doing their best from the place that they are. They are not always trying to hurt you, just deflect their own pain. It’s helped me not hold onto things. It’s interesting that I knew this even as a child. Not sure why.

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: