strong woman

I have become a Strong Independent Person. Its something that others admire. I also admire in others… and in myself.
This knowledge assures me, and it feeds this part of me. We have become quite attached to each other, SIP and I.

As long as I embrace this persona, and default to it in times of difficulty, then I find it hard to be vulnerable and dependent on others.
The dependent part of me I still judge as “weak”. I am also too ready to judge others who appear dependent and “weak”.

We all have a shadow side, which can be masquerading as our “good side”.

The ego is like that. It creates a story about what we want to admire in ourselves, and therefore what we see in others.

Yet, when the ego is in charge, it blocks off the heart and our ability to empathize and be truly compassionate.

My heart tells me to not be so strong. To allow myself to open more to others and trust in them and their goodness. To let go of trying to control with strength and will. To open to the inevitable.

May we all find acceptance of the shadow and the light within us, and find inner harmony.

About Val Boyko

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 25 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and inspiration within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we all explore finding harmony and peace, in the highs and lows of life 💛

29 comments on “Refection – Being Strong

  1. may we all find the balance –

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Inner Harmony … a delicate dance, Val. I fought a long time being “dependent” on my husband who enjoys doing for me. He overdoes a bit and if he had his way would end up suffocating me. Um no. But, as time passed, I began to appreciate what he does do and acknowledge it’s OK to be dependent on someone as long as I don’t become so dependent I end up unable to do anything. Being dependent is beautiful in balance. To gain that balance, however, is where the delicate dance comes in. I LOVE my SIP yet my Heart is open in allowing another to do for me, knowing that is his way of showing Love to me. I’m also working on “asking for help”. Hmmmmm ….. Your show of honesty here today is commendable, dear friend. Stay strong and may your Light get ever stronger! As I see it, your Light is Beautiful as is. BIG (((HUGS))) Amy 💞

    Liked by 1 person

  3. therandomblogofirreverentthoughts

    Nice blog post Val, very open and honest. We all struggle with these things from time to time. Keep and open heart and an open mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. We are all vulnerable sometimes Val and good to see, that you also show your vulnerability. I feel, that when I hurt inside, I easily close my heart and try to find myself and the inner peace, before I feel ready to be open to others.
    I try my best not to judge others too, but it happens anyway. When it does, I do recognize it and know, I saw a mirror here and then stop the judging. By judging others, we do also judge ourselves, which is not necessary or needed at all.
    Namaste ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I first read this an hour ago and didn’t know how to respond. Read it aloud to Jean and she acknowledged that it was difficult to reply to. Then it came to me.
    That it is all about being honest with oneself. Having the opportunity to share the most private and intimate feelings. Made easier by having a real friend in one’s life. Made easiest of all by having a dog who loves one unconditionally and will ‘listen’ so patiently when one speaks from the heart to one’s furry best friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So well expressed, Val. I appreciate your message and the beauty of balance and being human, thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beautiful, Val. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for this, Val…it’s beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. each of our
    mighty atoms
    holding strong
    kindly keeping us
    from bursting
    apart 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Your honesty about vulnerability is universal. This is very difficult for men to do as well, and for the same beliefs that you have described, that it is weak. We all have a long way to go in this area, but the more each of us speak about this and share our vulnerabilities with each other, as you have Val, the more we will normalise it. Thank you beautiful Val 💕💚

    Liked by 1 person

  11. thank you for sharing this Val…i think about trust…staying soft and feeling…also appreciate the thread here…i think of you as a peaceful warrior from your posts…compose a beautiful day ~ smiles 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature

    Yes, that balance is so important. Good to be strong and independent, but not at the expense of your heart and trust. I remember going through a time of being afraid to appear weak. Asking for help, almost impossible. Feels better to be vulnerable and let others help. It is a gift for them too. Great post, Val.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. “The ego … creates a story about what we want to admire in ourselves, and therefore what we see in others. … , it blocks off the heart and our ability to empathize and be truly compassionate.”

    Beautifully said, Val. I shall make a special effort to allow myself to be vulnerable today.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Beautiful reminder. ❤ Love requires vulnerability and vulnerability requires courage and faith. Strength and independence are different qualities to me, also valuable unless they are the tools of fear. So much to ponder, Val. Thanks for the wisdom.


  15. What a great topic to be shared. It it true, emotions and vulnerability is blocked when there is an ego at play.


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