Tag Archives for Shadow self

There Are No Perfect Human Beings and We Can all be Assholes

“There are no perfect human beings! Persons can be found who are good, very good indeed, in fact, great.

There do in fact exist creators, seers, sages, saints, shakers, and movers…even if they are uncommon and do not come by the dozen.

And yet these very same people can at times be boring, irritating, petulant, selfish, angry, or depressed.

To avoid disillusionment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about it.”

Abraham Maslow from Motivation and Personality

This reminds me of fellow blogger Ann Koplow’s Asshole song from her debut Fringe show in Edinburgh.

We can all be assholes!

So what?…

So expect others to have their good days and bad days.

So give yourself a break when you are not feeling on top of the world all the time, or if you know you have been an asshole.

So let go of the illusion – the beliefs about how you “should” be, and how others “should” be.

Accept that life is a series of highs and lows.

And most importantly – be kind towards the parts of you that are in the dark.

Embracing Shadow Self by Rita Loyd

Embracing Shadow Self by Rita Loyd

Hugs to all parts of you.

The asshole in me greets the asshole in you.

Refection – Being Strong

strong woman

I have become a Strong Independent Person. Its something that others admire. I also admire in others… and in myself.
This knowledge assures me, and it feeds this part of me. We have become quite attached to each other, SIP and I.

As long as I embrace this persona, and default to it in times of difficulty, then I find it hard to be vulnerable and dependent on others.
The dependent part of me I still judge as “weak”. I am also too ready to judge others who appear dependent and “weak”.

We all have a shadow side, which can be masquerading as our “good side”.

The ego is like that. It creates a story about what we want to admire in ourselves, and therefore what we see in others.

Yet, when the ego is in charge, it blocks off the heart and our ability to empathize and be truly compassionate.

My heart tells me to not be so strong. To allow myself to open more to others and trust in them and their goodness. To let go of trying to control with strength and will. To open to the inevitable.

May we all find acceptance of the shadow and the light within us, and find inner harmony.

Pointing fingers

Do you point out annoying habits in other people?
For example, it could be someone being too controlling, or too loud, or showing off, or not standing up for themselves…
Whatever it is, in order for us to see it, we must have knowledge of it.

When we point a finger at someone else, remember that there are 3 fingers pointing back at us.

The next time you find yourself getting triggered and pointing a finger, bring your attention to yourself and ask:

 “How am I that?”
“How do I do the exact same thing?!?”
OR
“How do I NOT do it and wish I did more?

There is usually something worthwhile to learn about yourself. It’s very uncomfortable to begin with, to face the parts of ourselves that we are denying or don’t want to admit to. Carl Jung called it our shadow self.

Its a powerful practice to take time to explore what’s behind feeling triggered, and is usually done with the support of a therapist, to help us navigate the defensive ego-mind at work here.

For me, it has become a surprisingly fun practice to see how I  do the things that annoy me most in others/wish I did them more. When I have the presence of mind to pause and see what’s going on, I often find myself laughing.

Try it out the next time you’re triggered and pointing fingers. Meet yourself fully and learn to laugh at yourself.

 

p.s. There may be a time when someone opposes your personal beliefs or violates something that you hold dear. The passion and anger arising in you then, comes from a deeper part of yourself, and is much more than pointing a finger at a behavior that’s annoying. There are wrongs in this world, and it is  important to stand up for what you believe to be right.

Understanding Real Love

This is a re-blog of an earlier post… with a message worth repeating. 💛

real love - darkness and forgiveness

“Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are.

Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness we don’t really know what love is.”

Marianne Williamson

For anyone who has been a in a long term loving relationship , you can probably relate to this quote. When we  allow ourselves to be seen in such a vulnerable way it opens up real understanding and connection.

Now consider if you were to say these words to yourself:

Until we see our own darkness, we don’t really know who we are.

Until we have forgiven our own darkness we don’t really know what love is.

The world becomes a kinder and less fearful place when we forgive and love ourselves.

Namaste

* There Are No Perfect Human Beings

Let’s embrace all part of ourselves today, especially our imperfections 💛

Find Your Middle Ground

It’s time to give up the illusion of being perfect and accept our human nature.

“There are no perfect human beings! Persons can be found who are good, very good indeed, in fact, great. There do in fact exist creators, seers, sages, saints, shakers, and movers…even if they are uncommon and do not come by the dozen. And yet these very same people can at times be boring, irritating, petulant, selfish, angry, or depressed. To avoid disillusionment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about it.”

Abraham Maslow from Motivation and Personality

So what?…

So expect others to have their good days and bad days.

So give yourself a break when you are not feeling on top of the world all the time.

So let go of the illusion – the beliefs about how you “should” be, and how others “should” be.

Accept that life is a…

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* The Unknown Part of You

oneness

Awaken to the unknown part of you

That sits in the shadows,

That roars from the mountain top.

Embrace its cries in the dead of night,

The unfathomable dreams.

It is the yearning in us all

To be free from separation.

* Reflections

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Anais Nin

reflections

Everything we see is a reflection of ourselves.

We can only see in others that which we have knowledge of, based on our own experience.

What we admire and love most in others is a reflection of the parts of ourselves we may not have fully acknowledged or expressed.

… We are beautiful and magnificent ❤

What we dislike most in others is a reflection of the parts of ourselves we may not have fully acknowledged or integrated.

… We are works in progress learning and growing through each encounter ❤

Are you ready to embrace all that you see as a reflection of  you?