These words came to me in a conversation yesterday with someone who feels she must rescue her adult daughter from a difficult marriage and challenging home situation.
“You cannot live her life for her.
Can you let her live her life?
… and live your own life?”
Perhaps you can relate to this if you are a parent.
Although I am not a parent, these words settled in deeply, and I too realized that I have not been living my own life here and now.
I’ve been living life in the context of “When Don is better”.. or “if Don isn’t here”.
We must all live our lives fully. It is ours to live, just as it is. In the present.
I realized that I have been living with a mindset of “after cancer”. Yet, the reality is that there is only living with cancer. By living for an unknown future, I have set aside the present and haven’t lived it fully.
When our mind is set elsewhere, the present become a means to an end. Yet the “end” is only a creation in our mind. We miss out on living life as it is.
It doesn’t mean that we should live in a passive way, or give up on life. Quite the contrary.
We don’t know what the future holds, but right now can be wonderful when we pay attention to it… and live it just as it is.
Take a moment to reflect.
“Are you living your own life as it is? … or setting it aside for someone else? … or perhaps living for an unknown future?”
And the question I now ask myself is “How can I be more present with myself and those I love?”
p.s. Don’s latest scan shows he is in remission. The next will be at the end of April.
No matter what is going in in your life, fully live and love in the moment you are in.