Some very successful and accomplished people will sometimes ask me – How can I let go more? What do I need to do to be more relaxed? How can I be less impatient? What can I do to be more flexible?…My answer for each question is usually the same, whether it’s at work, in life or on our yoga mat….

It isn’t about what you can DO differently, its about changing how you are seeing things – Shifting your perspective into one of noticing and being with whatever is happening right there and then.


Try this:

“Notice where the resistance is.

Allow it in…. name it.

Give it space…. embrace it.

Make friends with it.

Breathe in deeply and let the exhale soften the tension and move the energy through you.”

Discomfort is usually a message that something needs attention.

It isn’t a message to stop it, escape from it , get annoyed with it or avoid it. (Although that’s how we may react to it out of conditioning and habit!)

By being kind to our discomfort, it can show us what is needed.

Sometimes it simply wants some loving kindness for what is happening in that moment.self hug bear

So, the key to letting go, relaxing more, being more patient and more flexible is to notice where you are resisting and allowing it in. Then be kind to yourself!

It may sound counter intuitive, but try it and see what amazing wisdom lies within you …


47 comments on “* Want to Let Go More?

  1. This post was very helpful to me today. Thank you so much.


  2. Professions for PEACE

    I love this post Val. And the teddy bear image is perfect. Thank you for sharing this important point about being gentle around our discomfort… and ‘letting it in’. Wise advice, and reminds me of the writings I so enjoy from Thomas Moore in Care of the Soul. Lovely share. Thank you!! Blessings, Gina


  3. “Discomfort is usually a message that something needs attention.” so true and so well put!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have a bat habit of getting irritated with myself for being irritated! You’re right what I need to do is accept that irritation rather than allowing the frustration and irritation to increase.


    • This one the hardest lesson for me to learn too! Judging and controlling fascinate me because they have been such a strong part of me in my life. The letting go takes quite a while … and I’m still learning every day.
      Thank you for sharing.
      Val x


    • p.s. did you notice how you judged this as being a “bad” habit?…. Its so ingrained sometimes its not easy to see how much we judge and how much we can learn and let go.
      Val x


  5. Your simple words “Notice where the resistance is…” will help transform my life.


  6. This sounds like excellent advice to me. Thank you for the wise suggestions, Val.


  7. Well written 🙂


  8. Thank you for this timely reminder .


  9. Pingback: * Change What You Can … | Find Your Middle Ground

  10. It really works. Thankyou Val. 🙂


  11. Wonderful advice! It works, but I tend to forget when life gets busy. Have a relaxing weekend,Val.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s easy to forget in the moment Helen. have found it works best for me when I take time to re-live the experience in order to let the contracting remnants in the body and the judging in the mind be released. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  12. insightful and timely – thank you Val. ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Sound thoughts, Val

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I’ll remember this Val, the next time a situation crops up. They usually do quite frequently, so I should get in some good practice!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I am doing a mindfulness course right now and this would be summed up nicely as ‘surrender’ 🙏😇. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pingback: * Want to Let Go More? – Cancer caregiver self care

  17. A nice reminder about noticing resistance instead of pushing harder back, thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you 💛 What we resist will continue to create struggle and pain. Letting go is empowering. Wish I’d known that many years ago!


  18. Dearest Val, how timely is your wonderful message here my dear friend.. I have been making friends with it, 🙂 as I have allowed the space for it to embrace it.. Thank you for that confirmation..
    And Thank you for your energies and healing thoughts. I so appreciate your love and blessings sent..
    Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas Enjoy each and every moment..

    Love and Blessings..
    Sue ❤ xxx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Val 🙂
    This is timely for me too and I need to use your idea here to go through more fast, so I can go on with life, every time I get these feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I think I’ll bookmark this one, Val. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Such sage advice, dear Val! It is a hard concept to understand…that which we fight and struggle against gets stronger and yet to embrace what is uncomfortable and allow it space will release it. I can find this space, sometimes…not always…yet I keep trying!! Sending lots of love…Peace & Joy!! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your kind words and sharing Lorrie. It is something that I need reminding of too. We are not wired to bring attention inwards … that is why it is a practice for us all 😌
      Comfort and Joy to you my friend 💝

      Liked by 1 person

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