woman alone

We all face difficult situations and emotions that make it hard to come to a decision about some of them. Our analytical brain goes into overdrive and we seem to go round in circles! I’ve written about finding our middle ground, calming our mind, letting go and dealing with incessant thinking.

I have taken inspiration from the Serenity Prayer  all the way to Stephen Covey’s first habit in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Recently I came across a great question from master coach Marshall Goldsmith. It stopped me in my tracks and I saw how valuable it was in moving through the highs and lows of life.

Before jumping to the question, take a moment to consider a situation that you are struggling with:

  • Perhaps you are complaining about your relationship with a family member
  • Perhaps you are struggling with an action of  a colleague
  • Perhaps you didn’t get much sleep last night and are at the end of your rope at work

Now ask yourself this question:

“Am I willing at this time

to make the investment required

to make a positive difference on this topic?”

With thoughtful consideration …

If your answer is Yes – Then it may be that you do have the time, energy, resources and ability to bring about positive change in this area.

If your answer is Not Now –  Then recognize that this is not the best time to deal with it. We often feel we should take action, but don’t have the resources or time. Or sometimes we are unsure if a positive difference is even possible. Put it on the back burner and re-visit it later.

If the answer is No – then let it go. Yes – let me repeat. Let it go!

Read this again and again and you’ll see how each of the 3 parts of this question can bring you to clarity and help you deal with some tough decisions.

16 comments on “* Change What You Can …

  1. oohhhooohhh. I like that! It gives me the third opportunity of “not yet”. I like being able to leave it on my horizon, but not have to stress over it at the given moment! Thanks for sharing!


  2. Great method and helpful method! Very clever question, because of the “at this time”… in other words, am I ready… thanks for sharing Val 🙂 ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very sound advice for overcoming any tendency to unhelpful and ego-driven assertiveness, the insistence in imposing upon others our own cherished opinions whether they may conduce to their interests or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love number 3 Val. I’m just learning that one in the last little while – it’s amazing!
    Diana xo


  5. These are great questions to ask ourselves Val. Because when we are not ready to put in the effort and have the patience in any situation, then it can be detrimental to all.


  6. Very useful approach, Val. Thanks.


  7. A fitting post for me. Thanks Val for making decisions so simplistic because they really are. xoxo


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