Looking back on my own journey to authenticity, I realize that the first step – getting to know myself, was exciting and captivating – as long as I only looked at the things I liked about myself!

Being an observer of all aspects of ourselves – without judgment – can be the hardest step of all. Our inner critic or judge comes from our earlier experiences and conditioning. Over time it can become such a habit, that we think that this voice is the real one. We have listened to it for years and believe it to be the truth.

Some of us have one predominant inner critic, while others seem to have whole committee. It may sound like a scolding parent, an impatient caregiver, a critical teacher or an angry sibling. These thoughts comes from the ego-mind, and is a creation of the mind. It is not who we truly are.

The fact that we can begin to hear this voice is a clue. We are aware of this voice, but we are not this voice.

I came to see over the years, that self realization cannot happen without being compassionate towards ourselves. Otherwise we continue to do the practice, meditate, read books, take courses, and tell ourselves we are on the path. We become seekers forever, seeking out other seekers.

When we get to know our inner selves with kindness and acceptance we can fully embrace our lives and open up to living fully and authentically without fear.

The truth is, without self compassion and understanding, you are stuck. You won’t move forward unless you face reality; Acknowledge the truth of where you are; Get to know yourself with a kind heart; Embrace your shadow; Face the fears and wounds from the past that are sure to come up.

Getting real about ourselves is an empowering step on our evolution as human beings. When we accept ourselves just as we are, without judgment – on the yoga mat or off it –  then we find our middle ground.

It took me years to get over this conditioning and to start being kind and accepting of myself.

Its never too late to start on this journey of acceptance and self compassion. The next time you hear your inner critic, ask yourself

“Is this really the truth or could this be a habit that no longer serves me”?

Then give yourself a big hug, turn to face the warmth of the sun and put the shadow behind you.

Namaste

54 comments on “Journey to Authenticity

  1. Dan Antion's avatar

    My inner critic is a committee. I like that observation.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Mark Lanesbury's avatar

    Beautifully said Val. And yes, like any committee there is dissension, agreement, followers, stirrers, and even a lover or two. But among those many wiggles we find those parts and test them to find us a little more positively. Now if we could just throw the politicians out our grass may grow a little greener from the light that it lets in. Delightful post kind lady, and wise to a ‘T’. Thank you for sharing your committee free grass, and the light in your words 🤗❤️🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  3. D. Wallace Peach's avatar

    “Some of us have one predominant inner critic, while others seem to have whole committee.” That line cracked me up, Val. But your message about approaching ourselves with kindness, compassion, and acceptance is invaluable. It can sometimes take a long time to learn that important lesson. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. J. Kelland Perry's avatar

    Wise words, Val. We all need reminding of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. esoterica's avatar

    “Get to know yourself with a kind heart.” This is advice we should be giving to every young person. Amen!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. cindy knoke's avatar

    Important and interesting Val. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Karen Lang's avatar

    Kindness, love and compassion to these voices, wounds and judgements has also been what has healed me too. Beautiful post Val.
    🧡🥰🩷

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Eliza Waters's avatar

    Nice post, Val. It is a worthy journey towards self-empowerment that begins with that all important question! 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sharon Lawrence's avatar
    Sharon Lawrence

    Beautiful words that bring me tears once again today….

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Majella's avatar

    Great post. I must do more listening to those inner critics and identify who they are.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. nrhatch's avatar

    “When we get to know our inner selves with kindness and acceptance we can fully embrace our lives and open up to living fully and authentically without fear.” ~> TRUTH!

    On with the dance!  Let joy be unconfined.  ~ Lord Byron

    Liked by 3 people

  12. sicetnon3's avatar

    J. Krishnamurti had a saying, “The Observer is the observed.” I found it intriguing…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Non dual thinking has always resonated with me.

      “In other words, in reality, there are not two things—one, the screen and two, the document or image. There is just the screen. Two things (or a multiplicity and diversity of things) only come into apparent existence when their true reality—the screen—is overlooked. Experience is like that. All we know is experience but there is no independent ‘we’ or ‘I’ that knows experience. There is just experience or experiencing. And experiencing is not inherently divided into one part that experiences and another part that is experienced.”
      ― Rupert Spira, Presence: The Art of Peace and Happiness

      Liked by 1 person

      • sicetnon3's avatar

        Yes, it reminds me of the Schrödinger’s Cat thought experiment where the cat is alive and dead until the box is opened and observed. It makes me wonder how observation and intention are interconnected…

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Paul ~ The Flying Lizard ~'s avatar

    Very wise and beautifully written Val. Thank you so much for sharing! 🙏💕

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Bela Johnson's avatar

    “We think this voice is the real one.” Yes, and reality is subjective, thus we can, over time, modify the voice to be kinder, gentler, and more authentically from our own precious heart. Love this, Val. 🌈

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Michele Anderson's avatar

    Wonderful advice, Val on accepting and loving ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      It begins with recognizing how you are feeling. Well done 💐
      Finding a practice that will calm the mind and body will bring you into the present moment, rather than going over the past or anticipating an unknown future. This where the mind can settle and find relief. Thank you Brajesh 🙏🏻

      Like

  16. Dina's avatar

    Lovely and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. sicetnon3's avatar

    I am curious. When you read a book silently, do you hear the same voice that is the inner critic?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Now that’s interesting. When we read there’s an inner voice that stays the same no matter what we are reading. Is it the same voice as when we are pondering a question? A judgement? A loving thought? Or our inner critic? I
      think the verbalization is the same but our perceived source may be different.

      Like

  18. sicetnon3's avatar

    Yes, I have noticed a change in tone or attitude, yet it seems the same source. 🙏🏼

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Writing to Freedom's avatar

    Good reminders Val. I got stuck seeking ways out of my pain and trying to fix myself. Only self love and compassion helped.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Sue Dreamwalker's avatar

    Thank you Val, for another gem of wisdom…. Learning to listen is the key, and then learn to be kinder to ourselves, that we are deserving of special attention, 🙂 accepting ourselves who we are…. faults and all… 🙂 Then having the courage to Let go, and align ourselves back into balance…
    Much love dear Val… ❤ and Hugs your way xx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  21. derrickjknight's avatar

    Yes, indeed, Val – many years for me, too

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Klausbernd's avatar

    Dear Val

    This is exactly what I found out being a member of a Gurdjieff group for years. Now I don’t mind if I am authentic or not, I just be. After all these therapy groups in the 90s and psychoanalysis as lifestyle I don’t care if I am authentic, I am old enough not to and just enjoy life – quite naively.

    Keep well
    Klausbernd 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. cindy knoke's avatar

    So important. Thank you Val.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Ali Grimshaw's avatar

    Great post, Val. Wonderful reminders.

    Liked by 1 person

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