Embrace the present Life’s challenges are lessons Don’t wait for hindsight
These words came to me yesterday after two challenging days. Early on Wednesday morning, my husband had severe stomach ache that took us to the emergency room. He was in so much pain, and we knew it was likely to be a gallbladder attack. This was confirmed, and surgery was recommended to remove it. Thankfully the pain eased and he was kept comfortable. Surgery took place on Thursday and was a success. He came home yesterday morning and is doing well.
That’s the background. Here’s the lesson.
No matter what is happening be aware of how you are responding to the situation. Events can throw us off and bring up many feelings and ways to cope. I was surprised at how much anger came up at first – Missing my sleep, not being able to help with the pain, cancelling my plans, taking care of the dogs, finding parking ….. Then I was with him in the ER and everything changed. I had got him there. The anger was a way for me to be strong and push forward. I felt relief.
People sent me encouraging messages and support. Thank you! I appreciated them all, yet I also realized I was still in the “be strong” frame of mind. Holding myself together and not allowing myself to feel fully. The armor and stiff upper lip were well in place. As I recognized it’s power, I also saw that there is a pattern here, not just in times of crisis, when someone must take charge, but a lesson for me in life.
When things don’t go the way I want, the initial response is anger. Amygdala hijack, adrenalin rush and ego-mind focuses on what needs to be done. Feelings are dismissed. The priority is taking action. Val the Valkyrie emerges!
And I now see clearly that sometimes there is fallout on the people around me who feel unheard, dismissed and rejected. Warrior mode may work, but listening to our heart bring us back into balance.
Priorities must shift back to the heart so we can find our true selves again. He is my love and my priority. I hope I won’t need a crisis and hindsight to remind me again.