How Do you Feel About This?

I was raised in a family where this question was rarely asked. There was a guiding principle of conformity and an expectation to fit in with what those in charge wanted.

Denying our feelings becomes a part of being a child of a narcissistic parent or partner.

I grew up putting aside how I honestly felt, and instead, attuned to the needs of others. I became very good at sensing the emotions of others, and how to please them. I did it with my parents and then with my first husband.

I found myself in a career that my father would be proud of, that left me feeling empty and confused.

Along the way I lost touch with how I felt.

This was not the road to happiness, but I told myself that lifestyle was the most important thing.

It took me over 40 years to wake up to what happiness is, and to let myself feel the feelings that had been suppressed for so long.

For those of you in your twenties and thirties who can relate to this, please don’t waste the next twenty years of your lives.

I believe that we all deserve to honor our feelings… the good, the bad and the ugly. To honor them and then take responsibility for them. Even if it is goes against the grain or what others expect.

Those feelings are trying to tell you that something needs attention and understanding.

We all need to be true to ourselves, to honor how we feel, and own our feelings.

This is being real and authentic in the world. Only from here, can we take the right step forward and find happiness.

 

 

Healing

wrapped in a blanket

We must feel in order to heal.

Yet the hurts of the past are protected by layers of coping and behaviors that soothe.
Like blankets around our wounded hearts.

Pulling away these layers feels more painful than facing the hurt beneath.
The numbing feels more like home than the raw vulnerability.

Be kind to this fragile submerged part of you.
It hides in your heart, waiting to be known and held dearly.

Let love show you the way.

Namaste

Love is at the Heart

choose love

“Love is at the heart of all things. How you feel but reflects your decision to accept love or to reject it and choose fear. Both cannot be chosen.
All feelings you label joyous or compassionate are of love. All feelings you label painful or angry are of fear. This is all there is.

This is the world you make. Love or fear is your reality by your choice.
A choice for love creates love. A choice for fear creates fear.
What choice do you think has been made to create the world you call your home?
This world was created by your choice, and a new world can be created by a new choice. But you must realize that this is all there is. Love or lack of love.” *

~ Mari Perron

Some days it just feels good to know that we can choose. We do have a say in how we feel, when we bring awareness to choose love or fear.

The key is to create an environment so that love grows rather than fear.
We are bombarded by TV, Social and News media. Please turn it off –  if not for ever, then just for a time.
Give yourself the gift of space to touch love, rather than bringing more fear into your life.

What do you choose to create and share in your world?

 

*Perron, Mari. A Course of Love: Combined Volume (Kindle Locations 784-789). Take Heart Publications. Kindle Edition.

Depth of Feeling

Image from Google

“We are so unused to emotion

that we mistake any depth of feeling for sadness,

any sense of the unknown for fear,

and any sense of peace, for boredom.

We are so schooled away from the life below, that anything beneath scares us.”

~ Mark Nepo from “The Book of Awakening”

It’s a scary place to start to look at ourselves beneath the surface. To face who we are when no one is looking.

We are afraid of what we might find and the depth of our feeling. Yet this is the place where the heart can truly open to all the experiences and feelings that have been denied.

I like how Mark Nepo reflects,  “When we bring up what we keep inside, it is sacred and scary, and the rest of us don’t know if we want to touch it or not, like reaching from a ladder into a nest of baby birds….But I invite you to anyway… For each of us is a fledgling that eventually, if fed, will fly.”

May we find the courage to reach for the sacred place with kindness and a gentle touch.

Nurture your precious baby birds. Let them grow strong and fly.

 

* Inspiration – Generate Love

giving love

“For creatures who want to be loved, appreciated, even adored, we certainly go about fulfilling our desire in a curiously unfulfilling way. Instead of manufacturing it ourselves in the little love machine inside our chests, we complain about not getting enough of it, search frantically for someone to give it to us, and try to make ourselves more lovable by improving our looks or earning more money.

But the truth is, the Beatles got it right. The love you take is equal to the love you make.
In other words, the most effective way to get love is to generate it yourself.

By cultivating caring loving feelings you can actually provide yourself with the nourishment you seek.”

~ Stephen Bodian

This is such a potent message for any one of us when we feel alone, and are down. Nourish yourself first with caring feelings, if you truly want to bring more love into your life.

It isn’t easy to shift perspectives like this, but it is possible when we bring awareness to it.

When we complain about how unfair life is, resent the happiness of others, or lament the lack of love in our life, we are cutting ourselves off from the nourishment we need and the very thing we long for.

Instead of focusing on not having enough, pay attention to what you do have. Commit to being kind every day. Be caring towards others. Take care of yourself as you would your dearest friend.

And give to others from your heart.

Namaste