Don’t put your “but” in the face of an angry person.
Angry people are in a triggered reactive state.
The ability to listen or think logically diminishes with the rise of strong emotions.
The animal or limbic brain takes over control from the reasoning pre-frontal cortex.
Evidence also shows that when we grip our jaw, we are less able to listen through our ears.
Be careful of those buts.
Wait until the person has calmed down before trying to use reason.
Now that . . . is excellent advice. H ❤
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Thanks H ❤️
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Do you think it wise to adopt an attentive, almost agreeing-yet-silent attitude – e.g. nodding acknowledgment – or would you suggest something else, Val?
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I think it depends on the circumstances H. I would tend to disengage somewhat and let the dust settle. I was thinking of a situation at work when an employee got really angry about some feedback from HR. The HR person tried to explain it wasn’t personal, but the employee couldn’t hear anything while feeling threatened.
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Good advice, Val. 💘
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Thanks Van. 💕
Its a lesson I wished I had learned when I was a teenager.
Of course… I probably wouldn’t have listened 😉
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No doubt. None of us did. ☺
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Oh and how true. There is no reasoning with an angry person. Great advice, Val!
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Thank you Amy 💛
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Wonderful, fabulous advice. Thinking very hard before acting, that really means speaking, is crucial. In turn, that means knowing ourselves sufficiently well to know our sensitivities, our ‘hot spots’. Our journey inwards never ceases!
Well done, Val!
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Its a life long journey of awareness and wonder Paul 💕
Thank you!
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Love the photo, and the ‘get your butt out of it’ angle of this post Val.
In my experience, having had to work with many angry people, it’s never about trying to get someone to hear ‘reason’. when angry, loving compassion works — but you need to be very practiced in its flow.
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Practicing loving compassion in the face of anger does take mindful awareness and presence. Lovely comment Louise!
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Terrific advice, Val!
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Thank you for your kind words Jill 💛
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Can definitely relate!!
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We all come from our own experience. Thank you Dennis 🙏
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Love the puppy photo. I learned probably from birth never to engage with angry people. i can get very quiet. I don’t hang around with people that lose their tempers. You are so right on about this.
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Glad you enjoyed the puppy butt and the message 💛
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Once, when trapped on an elevator in the courthouse with a VERY ANGRY person who was spewing venom at a judge who had just ruled against him while his “sister” nodded along . . . I broke the tension by grinning and saying:
“You said the F-word.”
He stopped his tirade, turned to stare at me, and then burst out laughing! It was great. The ticking time bomb of ANGER was diffused with humor.
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Ahh Yes… The H. word!!
Love it ❤️
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i think when an angry person feels listened to and validated, they tend to calm down. Great advice Val to keeps our butts and our “buts” out of the way of anger! 😬😬
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Thank you for your wisdom Karen. Feeling that they are being heard is so important. And for us to remember that behind anger is usually fear and insecurity.
💕
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Yes so true Val! ❤️ Everyone just wants to know they are loved even when they are angry, sad or happy!!
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Makes sense – thanks for the tip! 😉
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Thank you Eliza 💛
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Great advice, Val! But that butt in the picture is cute 🙂
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Sometimes we need to add some sugar for the medicine to down 😉
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Yes, it’s better to roll over and show your belly.
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After sniffing the butt. 😎
Thanks for the smile Sandy!
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Very sensible advice!
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Thanks Ann!
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Great advice, Val. Thanks for the tip!
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Thank you Carol ❣
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wise, wise, wise advice!!
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Glad you appreciated it Pam 💛
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