This is a tale from the PanchaTantra, a collection of children stories from India. Take a moment to read this story and notice what comes up for you. My own reaction has changed over time.
“Somewhere in the jungle, there grew a huge tree. On its long branches, a pair of sparrows had made their home. One day, in winter, whilst the pair was sitting happily together, a light rain began to fall.
After some time, a monkey, battered by the strong winds, came and stood under the tree, his teeth chattering with cold.
When the female sparrow saw him in this state, she said to the monkey,’With your hands and feet, you look like a human being.
So why don’t you make a home yourself?’The monkey got angry and shouted, “Why don’t you shut your mouth, you stupid woman ?”
But the female sparrow kept on advising the monkey.Then the monkey said to himself, ” What a cheek this female bird has, giving me advice! This insolent woman thinks, she is an educated woman and won’t stop yapping. She makes me want to kill her!”
Then the monkey said ,”Why should you worry about my situation?”
But the female sparrow kept chattering ceaselessly.Without much ado, the monkey climbed up the tree and tore up the nest in thousand pieces.
The wise indeed say : Give your advice only to those who deserve it else you will come to grief.”
When I read this story a few years ago, I could really relate to the sparrow. I would come across people who were unhappy and not open to accepting help or advice. When I read the story back then, I wondered how the sparrow could change her approach so that the monkey would listen to her and learn from her, instead of resenting her and getting angry.
Now I know to let angry monkeys be.
Namaste
There’s so much truth in this story. I wish I learned the lesson earlier in life.
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Me too David. Me too. xo
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I REMEMBER the very day that this became wisdom for me on this journey as well..Thank you sincerely Val for sharing..
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Reblogged this on At the Table, On my Plate.
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Thank you Deb for a shared memory and the re-blog today 💛
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perhaps the monkey
on my shoulder
would like a banana 🙂
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A banana instead of advice might just do the trick ❣
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This is so true, and a good story to learn from.
I learned a long time ago that you just cannot help some people so if I start to give advice and see the angry monkey, I back off. Let it go.
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Thank you Barb! Sound advice … Which I appreciate 😉
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If someone seems sad, angry, etc., I try to lighten the moment. If it works, great. If not, I take off and allow them to vent their grievances to someone else.
Not my monkey. Not my circus.
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Not my circus that’s for sure. Thanks Nancy!
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I try my best to avoid the angry monkeys. The ones I’ve encountered want to stay angry. Thanks for sharing this teachable story, Val.
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They do tend to be stuck in their negative ways, at least until they dry out … Best stand clear. Thanks Jill 💛
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Hi Val, interesting story, many interpretations for it. I don’t give advices if not asked for, except to my kids and hubby, but I say it only one time, if they listen is ok, if not i don’t care, I have my own troubles to take care for.
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Sounds like common sense Elizabeth! Thank you 💛
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Really enjoyed this post, Val. I know from my experience both past and current, you really can’t communicate with anyone who is in an angry state. I have a family member who has been in this state for coming up on two years. Sometimes anger takes a very long time to disappear.
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Sometimes people cling to it because they believe they are in the right. So sad.
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Great story and lesson Val. I was just over at Mary’s blog https://marybmaulsby.wordpress.com/2016/01/16/walking-a-path-of-blessings-in-nature-blesstival-2016/ and this quote is perfect for this story. “There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.” Rumi
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I read that too! It is perfect. Listen to our inner voice … Or spidy sense. Mindful awareness tuned in like Spider Man.
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I am gradually learning this too, but at Christmas a family member turned into an angry monkey with totally irrational thinking and loud anger. Stupid me rose to the bait and tried to quell the storm with rational words and a raised voice. I should have just walked outside until that monkey mind calmed down.
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Perhaps next time Vicki…. It takes practice to give them space 💛
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Profoundly wise advice.
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I thought so too Paul. Thank you!
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Sometimes the monkey just ain’t ready Val. ❤
Diana xo
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Yes indeed Diana. Give them space and time. Thank you my friend. xo
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Yes, I agree with your second assessment. Some people just aren’t in a space to hear your advice or be able to process it. Each flows to their own rhythm and their lessons come in their due time.
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Wise words Eliza. Thank you 💛
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It is so hard to let go of trying to help … especially when the other person is a loved one.
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So true Elizabeth. It’s so easy to lose ourselves when it is someone close, and we feel it is our role to make them feel better ….
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Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.
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Very timely post, Val. A possible heating crisis this morning as winter settles in could mean a very expensive repair or even more expensive replacement. The angry monkey was in full swing. Scared monkeys often erupt in anger. As I walked away after offering help, I began reciting the Metta Sutta: “This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness and who knows the path of peace. Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech…” It stopped me from grabbing a branch and swinging wildly myself!
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A beautiful message Sunny … And it saved hurting your rotator cuff too! 😉
I hope you are warm and sage from angry monkeys. xo
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This is a great tale to learn from Val 😀
Unfortunately there are many angry monkeys in our world, but yes, let them be. Thank you for this tale.
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I must be on a whole different page because all I kept thinking was that the sparrow should have welcomed the monkey to take shelter under the tree…
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The story shows both monkey and sparrow on the tree, but the sparrow has its little nest to keep it dry….
The childhood lesson is for us to keep our peace of mind in the face of anger by keeping our distance.
Another more spiritual lesson can also be for the sparrow. To keep to its own business, don’t point out others suffering to them or to come from a place of compassion and offer a banana, as smilecalm says.
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Very wise.. :-)… I learned a while ago nothing is gained in Anger.. 🙂 Love and and Blessings dear Val.. xxx
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It is an important lesson to come from love and never anger. Thank you dear Sue ❤️
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The concept of giving advice only to those who “deserve” it doesn’t seem right at first . . . but it’s so true that trying to help an angry person is futile.
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I thought “deserve” was an interesting word choice in the story. Some stories have translated angry to be “wicked”. Perhaps it’s the translators own judgments that come into play as well.
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Probably so, Val.
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A “teachable moment” right here, Val. I’m still learning, in a couple of cases, to leave the monkey alone 🙂
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I think we all have a monkey or two in our
lives… And when we do, it’s the perfect way to practice stepping back and letting them be. 💛
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Each was expressing a kind of aggression. We always noticed the monkey, but never realize the sparrow is also on fire in a way.
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True. xo
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This is so true. I’ve learned that some people are happiest when they’re wallowing in self pity, so I leave them to stew. That was one very angry monkey, and shouldn’t be touched even with a barge pole.
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Thank you for adding to the conversation ad2p!
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