I love to work with people on becoming better communicators. The key, of course, is to learn to really listen – becoming engaged listeners and tuning into the other person, rather than letting our own thoughts take us away from the moment and distract us.
But before we even get to this step, there is one vital piece of wisdom to absorb.
When we are talking we are not listening.
So, the question to ask yourself is : Why Am I Talking?…
Have you ever considered why you are talking? It is usually more that sharing valuable information that’s for sure!
Next time you notice you are talking, consider these questions:
- Am I trying to release something that’s bottled up?
- Am I trying to persuade someone to my point of view?
- Is it a habit?
- Am I trying to work through something out loud?
- Do I have an unmet personal need that I am trying to get met? For example: a need for validation, attention, love, approval, recognition or to be right.
- Do I find talking entertaining?
- Am I uncomfortable with silence?
- Do I believe that people really need all the information I am providing, that I am being helpful or teaching something?
To explore more, you may want to write W.A.I.T.? on a post-it note before your next meeting and notice what comes up for you.
When we become aware of our talking, we are in a better position to choose whether we want to continue or not. Enjoy tuning in to yourself this week.. and this video.
Sweet birds! I’d talk just to get them to respond! ;-D
This is a great thought and I will keep WAIT in mind this week. I’d like to think I am improving my listening skills, but I’m sure there’s room to expand! Thank you, Val!
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Great Eliza. I hope you enjoy your WAIT experiment.
There are so many peeps who parrot what is expected of them…. I enjoyed adding this fun element.
xo
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Great message and those birds are so freakin’ cute!
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Thanks Mary! Glad you enjoyed the chatter 💛
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Love the message here – I’ve been working on it, especially with my boss who likes to fill any space – and letting him see the beauty in silence and helping him sort his thoughts. And those birds were adorbs!!
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Glad you enjoyed it Kate! Good luck with supporting your boss ❣
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The birds are gorgeous Val! My listening skills can always be improved. I can really see and feel the power in the silence.
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Thanks Karen. It’s a good reminder for me too ☺️
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W.A.I.T. is a great reminder to talk when we have something to say, not just because we want to say something. 😉
That’s why I love hanging out with BFF. We are both comfortable with SILENCE.
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Glad you enjoyed this! I’m lucky with my partner too Nancy. Nothing better than being present and not having to say a word.
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Great post Val! Thanks. I think I can benefit from a WAIT reminder, that’s for sure.
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Glad you enjoyed it MK! Thank you for stopping by.💛
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Val, so, so true. The old saw of having two ears and one mouth. Can I reblog this for Thursday over on Learning from Dogs? Would make a great follow to tomorrow’s post in stillness.
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Thanks Paul! I’d be happy for the reblog!! 💛
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“Why am I talking?” Now, that’s a good question, Val. I really like those motivations you give.
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Thanks for the kind words Don! Enjoy the awareness 😉
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Sound questions, Val
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Thank you Derrick!
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That’s right!
I always keep saying this -“An Interesting and a Good Conversationalist is he who listens”.
Good!
Do read my Etheree – “The Shining Rock”.
Shiva
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Thank you Shiva. Glad you enjoyed it!
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Great post, Val. Will be Waiting from now on.
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Thanks Jean. Have fun with it 😊
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I would like to tattoo this W.A.I.T. on my thinker !
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Now there’s an idea! Love it Colleen. 💛
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Excellent Val, and this forms part of the Buddhist Eightfold Path of course i.e. Right Speech. It actually is one of the very hardest of the eight factors for many to adhere to interestingly enough. Some people’s neural circuitry seems incapable of silencing the verbalisation of their internal monologue – very wearying! H ❤
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Thank you for sharing this insight from Buddhism Hariod. It can be hard for many of us … Of course, awareness is always the place to start. 💛
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Good advice and cute birds. 😀
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Great post, Val! Years ago, I worked with a man who never shut up. He talked excessively, mostly about himself. It’s because of him, I typically hold my peace.
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I learned to listen well and ended up listening to others talk all the time. Everyone wants to share their views, stories and no one wants to hear. Great post. Very cute birds.
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A valuable reminder, Val. There’s nothing more annoying than a person who talks non-stop.
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I hear you Carol. It could be worse …… When we realize it’s us 😉
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Beautifully written, Val…and such an important message! I believe most people want “to be heard” to know that what they think/believe matters. Thank you for reminding me that I can provide that good feeling for people by really listening to what they have to say! Have a wonderful day!!♡
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I love your giving perspective Lorrie! Thank you for listening to me 😍
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😉 Always!
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I love the WAIT guidance and am familiar with it – love the question you’ve suggested to go with it. Very powerful. Gonna try it next week at work. Thanks, Val!
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Glad you enjoyed it Vicki! Have fun with the awareness this week! 💛
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