I love to work with people on becoming better communicators. The key, of course, is to learn to really listen – becoming engaged listeners and tuning into the other person, rather than letting our own thoughts take us away from the moment and distract us.

But before we even get to this step, there is one vital piece of wisdom to absorb.

When we are talking we are not listening.

Talking in meetings

So, the question to ask yourself is :  Why Am I Talking?…

Have you ever considered why you are talking? It is usually more that sharing valuable information that’s for sure!
Next time you notice you are talking, consider these questions:

  • Am I trying to release something that’s bottled up?
  • Am I trying to persuade someone to my point of view?
  • Is it a habit?
  • Am I trying to work through something out loud?
  • Do I have an unmet personal need that I am trying to get met? For example: a need for validation, attention, love, approval, recognition or to be right.
  • Do I find talking entertaining?
  • Am I uncomfortable with silence?
  • Do I believe that people really need all the information I am providing, that I am being helpful or teaching something?

To explore more, you may want to write W.A.I.T.? on a post-it note before your next meeting and notice what comes up for you.

When we become aware of our talking, we are in a better position to choose whether we want to continue or not. Enjoy tuning in to yourself this week.. and this video.

37 comments on “* W.A.I.T. ?

  1. Sweet birds! I’d talk just to get them to respond! ;-D
    This is a great thought and I will keep WAIT in mind this week. I’d like to think I am improving my listening skills, but I’m sure there’s room to expand! Thank you, Val!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature

    Great message and those birds are so freakin’ cute!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love the message here – I’ve been working on it, especially with my boss who likes to fill any space – and letting him see the beauty in silence and helping him sort his thoughts. And those birds were adorbs!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The birds are gorgeous Val! My listening skills can always be improved. I can really see and feel the power in the silence.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. W.A.I.T. is a great reminder to talk when we have something to say, not just because we want to say something. 😉

    That’s why I love hanging out with BFF. We are both comfortable with SILENCE.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Great post Val! Thanks. I think I can benefit from a WAIT reminder, that’s for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Val, so, so true. The old saw of having two ears and one mouth. Can I reblog this for Thursday over on Learning from Dogs? Would make a great follow to tomorrow’s post in stillness.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. “Why am I talking?” Now, that’s a good question, Val. I really like those motivations you give.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Sound questions, Val

    Liked by 1 person

  10. That’s right!
    I always keep saying this -“An Interesting and a Good Conversationalist is he who listens”.
    Do read my Etheree – “The Shining Rock”.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Great post, Val. Will be Waiting from now on.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I would like to tattoo this W.A.I.T. on my thinker !

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Excellent Val, and this forms part of the Buddhist Eightfold Path of course i.e. Right Speech. It actually is one of the very hardest of the eight factors for many to adhere to interestingly enough. Some people’s neural circuitry seems incapable of silencing the verbalisation of their internal monologue – very wearying! H ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Good advice and cute birds. 😀


  15. Great post, Val! Years ago, I worked with a man who never shut up. He talked excessively, mostly about himself. It’s because of him, I typically hold my peace.


  16. I learned to listen well and ended up listening to others talk all the time. Everyone wants to share their views, stories and no one wants to hear. Great post. Very cute birds.


  17. Carol Ferenc

    A valuable reminder, Val. There’s nothing more annoying than a person who talks non-stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Pingback: Why Am I Talking? | Learning from Dogs

  19. Beautifully written, Val…and such an important message! I believe most people want “to be heard” to know that what they think/believe matters. Thank you for reminding me that I can provide that good feeling for people by really listening to what they have to say! Have a wonderful day!!♡

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I love the WAIT guidance and am familiar with it – love the question you’ve suggested to go with it. Very powerful. Gonna try it next week at work. Thanks, Val!

    Liked by 1 person

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