I love to work with people on becoming better communicators. The key, of course, is to learn to really listen – becoming engaged listeners and tuning into the other person, rather than letting our own thoughts take us away from the moment and distract us.
But before we even get to this step, there is one vital piece of wisdom to absorb.
When we are talking we are not listening.
So, the question to ask yourself is : Why Am I Talking?…
Have you ever considered why you are talking? It is usually more that sharing valuable information that’s for sure!
Next time you notice you are talking, consider these questions:
- Am I trying to release something that’s bottled up?
- Am I trying to persuade someone to my point of view?
- Is it a habit?
- Am I trying to work through something out loud?
- Do I have an unmet personal need that I am trying to get met? For example: a need for validation, attention, love, approval, recognition or to be right.
- Do I find talking entertaining?
- Am I uncomfortable with silence?
- Do I believe that people really need all the information I am providing, that I am being helpful or teaching something?
To explore more, you may want to write W.A.I.T.? on a post-it note before your next meeting and notice what comes up for you.
When we become aware of our talking, we are in a better position to choose whether we want to continue or not. Enjoy tuning in to yourself this week.. and this video.
Find Your Middle Ground 
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