Find Your Middle Ground

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* Reflections – People are our Mirrors

No pun intended here 😉 just some morning musings…

There is an old saying, “It takes one to know one.”

We see in others what we like and don’t like in ourselves.

 

 

people are our mirrors

If people are our mirrors, then everyone is a reflection of myself.

Its important for me to accept others for who they are.

Otherwise I am rejecting aspects of myself.

When I admire an aspect of someone I am recognizing that this is a part of myself.

When I am judging of others I am not accepting that I am judging of myself.

When I get annoyed because they are needy, I am rejecting my own needs and nurturing myself.

When I get frustrated when people go too slowly, then I am not accepting when I need to go slowly.

And of course, the best of all …. When I get upset when I feel others are controlling, I am rejecting the controlling part of me.

Ouch!

Our own inner critic is the voice of this self rejection.

Listen to it and love it for pointing out what to embrace rather than reject.

Remember there is no good or bad… And beneath it all is our deep longing for love and acceptance.

Namaste

 

 

Val T Boyko
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26 responses to “* Reflections – People are our Mirrors”

  1. Hariod Brawn Avatar
    Hariod Brawn

    A relative of mine is deeply intolerant of another relative’s intolerance. The joke deepens when you consider that what the first relative abhors most is hypocrisy. o_O

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Love this Hariod!
      (GRIN)

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  2. Don Avatar
    Don

    I think Val, that’s why community and our connection to it is so important. I come to know myself more in community than in solitude, Although it’s probably a balancing of the two. But community is often not an easy place to be simply because of it’s challenge in revealing ourselves to ourselves through others.

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I agree Don. Community is a great place of learning. We reveal ourselves and have the opportunity to interact with people we may not otherwise do in life. I intentionally connect to people with different views and outlooks. It allows me to look at my own reactions and keep growing as a person. Of course, there are also the “keepers’ who share the same curiosity and exploration of our inner worlds!
      I’m so grateful to having you with me on this journey Don.
      Val x

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      1. Don Avatar
        Don

        Thank you Val. Very kind of you.

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  3. Nomzi Kumalo Avatar
    Nomzi Kumalo

    🙂

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Nomzi!

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      1. Nomzi Kumalo Avatar
        Nomzi Kumalo

        You are so welcome Val 🙂

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  4. stormiesteele Avatar
    stormiesteele

    Great post! So true Val.

    Each encounter is but a reflection of what’s within. It is from that perspective that we gain insight. 🙂

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Storm. Each encounter is a reflection and a lesson.
      Val x

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      1. stormiesteele Avatar
        stormiesteele

        Thanks for the work that you do Val. 🙂

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  5. nrhatch Avatar
    nrhatch

    Some would say that we should never judge the actions of others. I don’t agree. Judgments allow us to discern our values and moral core, and help us decide how we wish to proceed through life:

    * Seeing others embrace “excess materialism” (a judgment) encouraged me to embrace simplicity.

    * Seeing factory farms engage in animal abuse (a judgment) encouraged me to eschew meat.

    * Seeing hoarders hoarding (a judgment) encouraged me to declutter my own life.

    Judgments keep us from making the “mistakes they are making.”

    Sometimes we get annoyed at others because they are exhibiting a trait we have not fully integrated and accepted as part of ourselves.

    Sometimes. But not always.

    Other times our annoyance is for other reasons entirely:

    * I get annoyed (to use a gentle word) with animal abuse, child abuse, and elderly abuse because those actions are morally wrong, not because I share the abuse trait with abusers.

    * I get annoyed at bullies and line cutters and liars and cheats and polluters and litterers because I am acting as “unpaid advocate” for the “little guy” whose rights they are trampling.

    * I get annoyed when people are late, time and time again, not because I share that trait, but because they are being selfish. In essence, they are saying that their time is more important than mine.

    A flicker of annoyance, standing alone, does not always mean that the object of our annoyance is acting as a mirror for something we need to work on.

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    1. nrhatch Avatar
      nrhatch

      This landed in my In Box today and I thought it might appeal to me:

      http://www.marriedwithluggage.com/stop-judging-others/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+marriedwithluggage+%28Married+With+Luggage+blog%29

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      1. Val Boyko Avatar
        Val Boyko

        I’ll listen in to the show later. Love this quote:
        “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
        Val x

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    2. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Nancy, Thank you for opening up such a rich perspective.
      I appreciate you sharing your personal awareness of your inner world of discernment, judgment and core values – and how this clarity supports your thinking and interactions with others.
      Being able to look inwards and being an observer of our thoughts, feelings and sensations when we are annoyed is a powerful practice.

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      1. nrhatch Avatar
        nrhatch

        Yes! Stepping into the role of observer is a powerful practice.

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  6. F.G.M. Avatar
    F.G.M.

    How true, people are our mirrors… in a school, pupils looks like their teachers… great post, as ever ♥

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Frederic. Pupils look like their teachers and share their values and outlook. I like this perspective….. at least from my own teacher perspective 😉
      💛

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  7. dianasschwenk Avatar
    dianasschwenk

    Love this post Val! I like to ask myself, when judging others, good or bad, what inside me is prompting this. ❤
    Diana xo

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      What’s inside me? Is a wonderful question Diana!
      Thank you for visiting in and adding to the conversation. I appreciate it 💛

      Liked by 1 person

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  8. Eric Tonningsen Avatar
    Eric Tonningsen

    This, for me, conjures Humphrey Bogart; “Here’s looking at you kid,” 🙂

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Love being called kid.
      Thank you Thank you Uncle Eric 🙂

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  9. lorriebowden Avatar
    lorriebowden

    So true Val. Every once in a while, when I remember this, there is a deep silence…understanding!! ❤

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Lorrie ❤
      These ahah! moment can come gently from within 🙂

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  10. Healing Grief Avatar
    Healing Grief

    Many times I haven’t liked what is reflecting back to me in the mirror! And still, I am so glad for these beautiful teachers who show me my soul and encourage me to be who I am meant to be. Your post reminds us we can accept this!

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    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I love this Karen. Thank you.💛

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