at the edge

Have you ever thought about doing something  that you know would be a challenging experience, yet you feel it will also be one that gives an opportunity to learn about yourself and grow?

In coming to the decision about doing this, you know you will have to face certain aspects of yourself and habitual patterns that aren’t serving you … You will have to let go …

A deeper part of you knows that its the right thing to do, and the human part of you (ego) comes up with all sorts of excuses and reasons for weazling out and avoiding  this scary and threatening place.

I’m feeling it right now … and it reminds me of when I came to the decision to give up smoking. It was much easier to keep smoking than to face the reality of the harm I was doing to myself and its hold over me. By stopping I would also be letting go of the comfort, reassurance, security and yes, companionship of my ciggie.

Within all of us is a core of honesty and integrity that is part of our higher self. Our lower ego self wants things to be the same, and in my experience tries to negotiate with the higher voice by coming up with all sorts of arguments and counterpoints to deflect and avert. It gets a kick out of outwitting the better part of me 😉

So which voice do we choose?…

When we are aware of the inner workings of our mind, the chatter and strategies of our very human ego … then we really can see that there is a choice.

The choice I am considering is whether to go on a social media retreat while I am away on the next module of my YTT 500 Yoga teacher training at Kripalu.

Even when we embrace our higher self and choose to do the right thing, its important to recognize how our ego shows up. Denying the lesser part of ourself, only brings resistance and more struggle.

My ego really wants to share with you what a brave and challenging thing it is going to agree to. Its afraid it will feel disconnected and will miss the stimulation and community.

My higher self knows that this will give me an opportunity to be with the discomfort of disconnection from the external world and allow me to find more inner connection while I am away.

girl walking on her path

Your support is much appreciated as I switch off  from Friday Sept 19th until Sunday Sept 28th. 🙂

” Life at its best is a series of challenges. A big enough challenge will bring out strengths and abilities you never knew you has. Take on challenges and bring yourself to life.” anon




31 comments on “* Deciding to Do the Right Thing

  1. I hear you. I am supposed to be on an internet and blogging break but couldn’t stick to it totally. I found that I NEEDED to comment to friends.. 🙂 I haven’t posted though. But during this break I came to a conclusion about my blogging. I am getting ready to post about it. Pretty simple really, I need to get back to blogging from the seat of my pants when I feel like it and stop doing memes that leave me feeling panic from a deadline. Enjoy your “switch off” and your Yoga teacher training!


    • Thank you Pix! I love the feeling of connection as well … but each of us needs to find the right balance and make choices that support our higher self. What a great insight!
      p.s. I won’t be commenting on your post about it ;(
      Val x


  2. I’m glad that you are taking a break during the next phase of training – your first instinct is usually the right one!
    I will miss the updates, but I hope that you’ll keep a journal and be able to come back and share with us!


  3. Blessings and light along your way, Val 🙂 XO


  4. It’s only 10 days Val; and in any case, sometimes we have to disconnect to connect. 😉

    Have a fabulous time; I look forward to hearing about how you survived your chosen spell of abstinence in due course!

    Hariod. ❤


    • I know Hariod 10 days is not 10 weeks or 10 months. ((smile)) I wrote this post last night as I was making up my mind. This morning I feel really happy with my decision.

      Abstinence makes the heart grown stronger 🙂

      Val x


  5. Have a wonderful time. We’ll all still be here when you get back!


  6. In the Stillness of Willow Hill

    We will be with you, even in your absence. This time of unplugging will be a precious 10 days, as increased silence touches places that haven’t been touched for awhile. Your soul is calling you to do this.


  7. Have a great retreat and social media break, Val. We will be here to welcome you back!


  8. I agree with Kate, your first instinct is usually the correct one. I appreciate you lining out your challenges here. It helps all of us on our journeys.


  9. Interestingly, Val, I have found that when I engage the ego mind, struggle with it or allow it to attain the role/significance it seeks — it fuels the ego. When I simply acknowledge and sometimes even consciously thank it for presenting, and then move on with clarity and focus about my intention, the ego mind lies diminished. For that episode. Sure it comes back, repeatedly, but I have learned how to treat and co-exist with it. Mine’s impact has been significantly mitigated.

    Enjoy your retreat/training and being unplugged. 🙂


  10. May the retreat and break from blogging prove to be interesting and worthwhile opportunities to learn more about yourself and grow.


  11. is it about ego? – go and have a break and a rest.. There is time enough for blogging through the winter.. This is really inner listening eh anyway? – do follow your heart… fondly eve


  12. Inner listening and flowing our heart… what wonderful advice Eve 🙂 Thank you.


  13. Sounds like you have reached the right decision ~ disconnect to connect more deeply. Enjoy your time away. See you on the rebound.


  14. Good for you Val. You will, of course, be missed! Enjoy your time for you. ❤
    Diana xo


  15. While I was going through “The Artist’s Way” creativity course I took a week-long ‘retreat’ from not only the internet, but TV and books as well, and although parts of it were sheer torture 😉 it was time well spent for sure. Enjoy your retreat, the next module in your Yoga training, and this time of inner connection, you’ll be missed! x


  16. Wise decision, I’m sure it’ll do you good. Kripalu looks like the right place for it…


  17. I’m really anxious to hear about your experience. It should be at the very least interesting. I just went through a tortuous decision a few weeks ago over having to keep a puppy. I was really torn because having a puppy upset my routine and made me less free but on the other hand it brought me great joy and i knew that when it would be an adult (and calmer) I would have a best friend for life.
    Then I attended my meditation group. The evening’s meditation was on love of self and how, regardless of how we might not like certain situations in our lives, the facilitator encouraged us to bow to everything in our lives – the good and the bad. Welcome everything, as Rumi so elegantly said in his poem The Guest House.
    At the end of the meditation session a voice within me said: bow-wow…
    I knew I should keep the puppy and I’m glad I did.
    It’s strange how knowing what the right thing to do can sneak up on us in most unusual ways.


  18. Pingback: * Haiku – being | Find Your Middle Ground

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