Enjoy this timely re-post 🙏
Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher, once said: “If you think you are so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.”
Eckhart Tolle adds to this wisdom:
“If you have been doing inner work for some time, a visit with your family is an excellent opportunity to discover how well you have done. You will easily identify the areas where you have made significant progress. You will also see where your weaknesses still lie….
The relationship with your parents is not only the primordial relationship hat sets the tone for all subsequent relationships, it is also a good test for your degree of Presence. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.
Many who are on a path of awakening choose to avoid contact with their parents or family members. This can be helpful, if the intentions are truly good and not a pattern of avoidance.
As you spend time with your family, don’t expect that you will be the perfect embodiment of all you have learned and integrated. You will be put to the test day after day, moment by moment. This is normal. You will gain the most from this experience if you don’t take it too seriously, if you don’t create impossible standards for your conduct of behavior, if you try so hard to be Present and Still that you behave like a robot, if you withdraw into a cocoon of self-protection, or if you blame your family members for every little imperfect act from the past that harmed you in some way.
Instead, and above all, choose to relax, reduce your expectations for what may or may not happen, expect little skirmishes, disagreements, moments of humility or failure, and the distance you may feel with your family as a whole, knowing that you are trying to move beyond the ego patterns that have been impediments to your soul and that they care less about ego and Presence and even Truth.
Love and accept them where they’re at. Have compassion for their pain. Be observant while being engaged as guilelessly as possible. Watch yourself and your reactions, out of curiosity, not judgment or blame, but for the benefit of learning how and where you’re really at in your spiritual evolution.”
~ Eckhart Tolle
To read the full article follow this link.
We are just 5 tomorrow. I remember the days when we barely fit in my mother’s house! What fun it was. (We weren’t a crazy family!)
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Whew! That’s a relief Kate 😉 Have a wonderful time tomorrow filled with gratitude and good humor 🍽🦃🍁
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This indeed is profound reminders and can truly test our personal growth.
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I liked the advice of relaxing and not taking it so seriously. It has worked for me … over and over again ❣️
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🙂 Exactly that can take a while to master. Life becomes so much sweeter once the ability comes. I am successful sometimes and other times not.
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Keep at it! It is a practice. I was nearly 50 when I felt relaxed and peace around my family. 🙏
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Happy Thanksgiving Val…may your Blessings be abundant.
I love this flow…peaceful..accepting and being ever so grateful. I am one that is estranged from family, but each holiday, my husband and I volunteer to serve in our community where needed. We serve this year to elderly that have no family and are home alone..and this gives us FAMILY to share our hearts with. We are so grateful. ♥♥♥
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What a beautiful way to share the gratitude and lows in your heart Deb. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your senior family 🍁🍽🦃
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Val, this was wonderful. 🙂
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Thank you Deb. Lets all be relaxed and accepting … as well as grown up 😉
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Yes, and there are no lows simply acceptance. I am grateful to have come into healing through this experience. And I love my family and accept the way it is at this time. My faith is immense. Your posts are always so soul nouishing. I was 56 when this journey began, i am 62 now…we are never too old for healing, and hope, and Believing…I thank you Val. Namaste’
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Thank you for your wise words and sharing Deb. It is never too late to heal. Namaste 🙏
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Love that ET wisdom. Without awareness, we are doomed to grab the bait every time!
Hope your Thanks-Giving is a good one. There is so much to be grateful for. ❤
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Thank you Eliza 💛 I’m grateful for you!
🍁🍽🦃 Happy Thanksgiving
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Thank you!
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Happy Thanks Giving!
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Expecting our family members or friends to be something they are not, is “insanity” says Eckhart! All the issues with my family have changed, because I changed my attitude and acceptance of them. Great holiday reminder Val 👏🌿🍀
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Thank you Karen. As adults it’s up to us to take responsibility for how we want our relationships to be, especially family ones. That requires us to do a lot of growing up sometimes 😉 Keep sane my wise friend 🙏
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So very true, Val. This is the time of year that everything gets tested. I found out that I have learned to set boundaries and stick to them. As a result, our Thanksgiving feast will be my two adult children and I sharing pizza and holiday movies. Peaceful indeed.
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Sounds like a heartwarming family time together Marlene. Happy Thanksgiving🍁 🍽🍕
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Such a true post Val, we see so clearly, how far we are in our personal development, while we are in company of family.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
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There’s so much to be thankful for. Thank you Irene 🙏
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So very sound – we still have 4 generations well represented 🙂
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Excellent Derrick❣️thank you.
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excellent reminders and guidance for anyone who needs help
(myself included) with unusually large family gatherings especially
this time of year. great post Val
Happy Thanksgiving to you dear heart
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Thank you so much Eddie. I appreciate you – and especially your consistent love and sharing with us here in WP. Happy Thanksgiving🍁💛🍁
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Wise words! I think that most of the stress from family gatherings comes from our expectations of how we think others should behave and how our gatherings should be. Once we let go of that, and just relax and accept people for who they really are, it’s so much easier.
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Wise words Ann. Have a relaxing and accepting day 💛 Happy Thanksgiving 🍽🦃🍁
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Choose to relax. Very fitting today (unlike my pants right now ;))
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I know the feeling Gabe! Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving. 💛
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It was wonderful Val. Perhaps painfully wonderful, but nothing a nice long run, followed by a conscious choice to relax, wouldn’t cure. Cheers!
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Wonderful article. Thank you for sharing. The holidays with family can be a challenging time for so many of us.
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Thanks Ali 💛
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Thank you Val. A very thought provoking article. I had and have a difficult childhood with my parents and I trying to deal with resentments in a healthy way that helps to create a healthy relationship with my wife and children. ‘expectation in a envelope only delivers resentment’. Thank you once again.
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It takes work on our part as adults, to work through the wounds from c. Relax and accept. Let go of the past and be a grown up – even if everyone around you is still playing by the old rules….
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By the way, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.
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I did. No family get together until Scotland in the New Year though!
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Amazing article!
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Glad you appreciated it Simone. 💛
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Can you check out my blog too?😊
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Great tips! Happy holidays!
https://adultthisspace.wordpress.com/2017/11/27/prepping-your-space-for-the-holidays/
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Thank you 💛
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I absolutely love this, val and you should rerun it 4 times a year
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Smiling and nodding❣️thanks Beth x
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some great advice for enjoying family time during the holidays…
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Thanks Jim 💛
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Working on this as I write here. Staying at my son’s place for 10 days and we have opposite views on life and the world. So does his entire extended family. My daughter and I would have a case of lock jaw if we weren’t in our second year of ACIM. I just let them talk and don’t take the bate. Loved reading this. So very true.
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ACIM is such a powerful perspective and tool. Let you are your daughter find the strength here to be yourselves , and not be drawn in to
old beliefs, conditioning and judgements
Let go and let oeace find it’s way. 💛🍗🙏🥰🍂
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Another blogger shared that when things get strained, she excuses herself, goes to the bathroom and recites the Serenity Prayer! Sounds like a good strategy. 🙂
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Sounds like a good strategy 💛🙏💛
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Still sound. As you know, we no longer have 4
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Good advice. I will remember these tips when visiting my elderly in-laws–not for Thanksgiving, but the following week–should any challenging moments arise.
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Yes. Thank you Kathy 🙏
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Happy Thanksgiving, Val!
Hope dinner is delish . . . with gratitude (and wine) flowing.
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Thanks Nancy. Wishing you a lovely relaxing day with gratitude and love 💛🙏💛
P.s. wine is ready to go 🍷🍷
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Val, this is a saver for when my two daughters and family gets together. Wonderful!
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So glad it resonated Michele. Thank you 💛🙏💛
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