Enjoy this timely re-post ๐Ÿ™

Thanksgiving family
Credit: Flickr.com/Louish Pixel

Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher, once said: “If you think you are so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.โ€

Eckhart Tolle adds to this wisdom:

“If you have been doing inner work for some time, a visit with your family is an excellent opportunity to discover how well you have done. You will easily identify the areas where you have made significant progress. You will also see where your weaknesses still lie….

The relationship with your parents is not only the primordial relationship hat sets the tone for all subsequent relationships, it is also a good test for your degree of Presence. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.

Many who are on a path of awakening choose to avoid contact with their parents or family members. This can be helpful, if the intentions are truly good and not a pattern of avoidance.

As you spend time with your family, don’t expect that you will be the perfect embodiment of all you have learned and integrated. You will be put to the test day after day, moment by moment. This is normal. You will gain the most from this experience if you don’t take it too seriously, if you don’t create impossible standards for your conduct of behavior, if you try so hard to be Present and Still that you behave like a robot, if you withdraw into a cocoon of self-protection, or if you blame your family members for every little imperfect act from the past that harmed you in some way.

Instead, and above all, choose to relax, reduce your expectations for what may or may not happen, expect little skirmishes, disagreements, moments of humility or failure, and the distance you may feel with your family as a whole, knowing that you are trying to move beyond the ego patterns that have been impediments to your soul and that they care less about ego and Presence and even Truth.

Love and accept them where they’re at. Have compassion for their pain. Be observant while being engaged as guilelessly as possible. Watch yourself and your reactions, out of curiosity, not judgment or blame, but for the benefit of learning how and where you’re really at in your spiritual evolution.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

To read the full article follow this link.

57 comments on “Tips for the Holidays – Family and Presence

  1. We are just 5 tomorrow. I remember the days when we barely fit in my mother’s house! What fun it was. (We weren’t a crazy family!)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This indeed is profound reminders and can truly test our personal growth.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Happy Thanksgiving Val…may your Blessings be abundant.
    I love this flow…peaceful..accepting and being ever so grateful. I am one that is estranged from family, but each holiday, my husband and I volunteer to serve in our community where needed. We serve this year to elderly that have no family and are home alone..and this gives us FAMILY to share our hearts with. We are so grateful. โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Val, this was wonderful. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Deb. Lets all be relaxed and accepting … as well as grown up ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

      • Yes, and there are no lows simply acceptance. I am grateful to have come into healing through this experience. And I love my family and accept the way it is at this time. My faith is immense. Your posts are always so soul nouishing. I was 56 when this journey began, i am 62 now…we are never too old for healing, and hope, and Believing…I thank you Val. Namaste’

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Love that ET wisdom. Without awareness, we are doomed to grab the bait every time!
    Hope your Thanks-Giving is a good one. There is so much to be grateful for. โค

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Happy Thanks Giving!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Expecting our family members or friends to be something they are not, is “insanity” says Eckhart! All the issues with my family have changed, because I changed my attitude and acceptance of them. Great holiday reminder Val ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ€

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Karen. As adults itโ€™s up to us to take responsibility for how we want our relationships to be, especially family ones. That requires us to do a lot of growing up sometimes ๐Ÿ˜‰ Keep sane my wise friend ๐Ÿ™

      Liked by 1 person

  8. So very true, Val. This is the time of year that everything gets tested. I found out that I have learned to set boundaries and stick to them. As a result, our Thanksgiving feast will be my two adult children and I sharing pizza and holiday movies. Peaceful indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Such a true post Val, we see so clearly, how far we are in our personal development, while we are in company of family.
    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. So very sound – we still have 4 generations well represented ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  11. excellent reminders and guidance for anyone who needs help
    (myself included) with unusually large family gatherings especially
    this time of year. great post Val
    Happy Thanksgiving to you dear heart

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wise words! I think that most of the stress from family gatherings comes from our expectations of how we think others should behave and how our gatherings should be. Once we let go of that, and just relax and accept people for who they really are, it’s so much easier.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Choose to relax. Very fitting today (unlike my pants right now ;))

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wonderful article. Thank you for sharing. The holidays with family can be a challenging time for so many of us.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Thank you Val. A very thought provoking article. I had and have a difficult childhood with my parents and I trying to deal with resentments in a healthy way that helps to create a healthy relationship with my wife and children. ‘expectation in a envelope only delivers resentment’. Thank you once again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It takes work on our part as adults, to work through the wounds from c. Relax and accept. Let go of the past and be a grown up – even if everyone around you is still playing by the old rules….

      Liked by 1 person

  16. By the way, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I absolutely love this, val and you should rerun it 4 times a year

    Liked by 1 person

  18. some great advice for enjoying family time during the holidays…

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Working on this as I write here. Staying at my son’s place for 10 days and we have opposite views on life and the world. So does his entire extended family. My daughter and I would have a case of lock jaw if we weren’t in our second year of ACIM. I just let them talk and don’t take the bate. Loved reading this. So very true.

    Liked by 1 person

    • ACIM is such a powerful perspective and tool. Let you are your daughter find the strength here to be yourselves , and not be drawn in to
      old beliefs, conditioning and judgements
      Let go and let oeace find itโ€™s way. ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ‚

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Another blogger shared that when things get strained, she excuses herself, goes to the bathroom and recites the Serenity Prayer! Sounds like a good strategy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Still sound. As you know, we no longer have 4

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Good advice. I will remember these tips when visiting my elderly in-laws–not for Thanksgiving, but the following week–should any challenging moments arise.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Happy Thanksgiving, Val!
    Hope dinner is delish . . . with gratitude (and wine) flowing.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Val, this is a saver for when my two daughters and family gets together. Wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

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