“The real reason why human life can be so utterly exasperating and frustrating is not because there are facts called death, pain, fear, or hunger.
The madness of the thing is that when such facts are present, we circle, buzz, writhe, and whirl, trying to get the “I” out of the experience. We pretend that we are amoebas, and try to protect ourselves from life by splitting in two.
Sanity, wholeness, and integration lie in the realization that we are not divided, that man and his present experience are one, and that no separate “I” or mind can be found.
To understand music, you must listen to it. But so long as you are thinking, “I am listening to this music,” you are not listening.”
~ Alan Watts
This last line from Alan Watts really hit home. I recall sitting in meditation, and my mind telling me over and over again “I am meditating” rather than embracing the actual experience of what it is to be present.
How many times do we read something, and rather than absorbing its full meaning and the underlying feelings, we simply read words.
When we separate ourselves from the full experience and feeling, we detach ourselves from life itself, and become actors playing out our roles.
Next time, you find yourself detaching (Or splitting yourself into two like and amoeba) pause. Notice what’s happening while its happening. Then ask “Am I aware of what I am feeling right now?”