The 4 A’s for Fulfillment

I hope you enjoy this inspiring re-post today.

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Photo by Philip Justin Mamelic on Pexels.com

The 4 A’s for fulfillment are some basic needs that we all have as human beings. I like to think of them as essential elements for the wellspring of life.

They are:

~ Attention ~

~ Appreciation ~

~ Affection ~

~ Acceptance ~

Take a moment to reflect on how you feel when someone offers you these things:

When someone pays attention to you, listens and is truly present with you…

When you feel appreciated for who you are, and someone thanks you…

When you are given affection and feel loved…

When you are accepted for just the way you are, despite not being perfect…

I know of a parent who intentionally punished their child by withdrawing her attention and ignoring her. She stone walled and turned her back in order to show her displeasure if the child didn’t do as she was told.
Can you imagine how this child felt, being rejected like this? Its no surprise that as an adult, her life became totally absorbed with filling the void within her. She craved attention and desperately needed to be appreciated. She was hungry for signs of affection, and yearned to be accepted by others.

Knowing the 4 A’s for fulfillment can help us understand our own motivations and support our healing from times in the past when these essential needs were not met. When we were small, we didn’t have the ability or insight to know what was happening, but we deeply felt the consequences.
Now it can be a gift to ourselves, to become more kind and compassionate to the small wounded child within us.

It can also be a powerful gift for us to give to others. It builds relationships and connection. It makes people feel good about themselves.

Notice if you find this difficult, neutral or easy.
If it’s difficult for you to give to others, then it might reflect your own need to give more to yourself. Fill your own wellspring so you can share with others.

Inspiration – Accepting the Whole of our Experience

amoebas dividing

“The real reason why human life can be so utterly exasperating and frustrating is not because there are facts called death, pain, fear, or hunger.

The madness of the thing is that when such facts are present, we circle, buzz, writhe, and whirl, trying to get the “I” out of the experience. We pretend that we are amoebas, and try to protect ourselves from life by splitting in two.

Sanity, wholeness, and integration lie in the realization that we are not divided, that man and his present experience are one, and that no separate “I” or mind can be found.

To understand music, you must listen to it. But so long as you are thinking, “I am listening to this music,” you are not listening.”

~ Alan Watts

This last line from Alan Watts really hit home. I recall sitting in meditation, and my mind telling me over and over again “I am meditating” rather than embracing the actual experience of what it is to be present.

How many times do we read something, and rather than absorbing its full meaning and the underlying feelings, we simply read words.

When we separate ourselves from the full experience and feeling, we detach ourselves from life itself, and become actors playing out our roles.

Next time, you find yourself detaching (Or splitting yourself into two like and amoeba) pause. Notice what’s  happening while its happening. Then ask “Am I aware of what I am feeling right now?”

Inspiration – Birthright

(C) Creative Commons Zero (CC0)

Despite illness of body or mind,
in spite of blinding despair or
habitual belief, who you are
is whole. Let nothing keep you
separate from the truth. The soul,
illumined from within, longs to
be known for what it is. Undying,
untouched by fire or the storms of
life, there is a place inside where
stillness and abiding peace reside.
You can ride the breath to go there.
Despite doubt or hopeless turns of
mind, you are not broken. Spirit
surrounds, embraces, fills you from
the inside out. Release everything
that isn’t your true nature. What’s
left, the fullness, light and shadow,
claim all that as your birthright.

~ Danna Faulds

We realize we are whole when we can touch the deep stillness and space within us. There is love here waiting to be known.

Bringing awareness to our breath, and using it as a tool to calm the mind can bring release and healing. It brings us into the present moment so we can touch this space.

I call it our Middle Ground.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Namaste

* You are a Drop

drop in the ocean

“You are a drop:
Divine being is the ocean.
While you still live,
hold steadily before you
the vision of the whole
and you will be the whole.”

– Jalal-ud-Din Rumi
(Translated by Andrew Harvey from A Year of Rumi)*

 

Let us hold steady before us the vision of the whole.

Don’t let the divisiveness and turmoil distract us from what is yet to be revealed.

Let us trust in the ocean.

Namaste

* Inspiration – from the quietness

This is a beautiful observation about what can happen when we find the quietness with us. When we find our Middle ground.

In this space is more than calming the mind or exploring our spiritual path, it is vital for our overall wellbeing.

Take time to pause in your day and find the quietness within.

wholeness and freedom

“From the quietness, we can make healthier choices about our actions.

From choice comes freedom.

From freedom comes wholeness.

And wholeness is the state of yoga.”

 From Judith Lasater’s “Living Your Yoga”