Connection Inner Wisdom Lighten Up middle ground Mindfulness New Perspectives Self Discovery

You are Not the Problem

by Val Boyko
Comments 51

thinking about me

“The central problem is not that

You think too highly

Of yourself.

Nor is it that

You think too lowly

Of yourself.

Instead, it is that

You think constantly

Of yourself.”

Wu Hsin from The Lost Writings of Wu Hsin

(This was long before John 3:30 and C.S. Lewis with their definition of humility.)

Is this really true? I took a moment to consider what most of my thoughts are about … and yes they are usually about me. What I need… what I want… how I feel…  how I see things… decisions I make… things I have to do…

So, today I learned (again) that one of the best ways to lighten up and find balance, is to stop thinking constantly about myself.

Self reflection and introspection are valuable for us to learn about our inner world… but lets all be mindful about crossing the line from seeking understanding to self absorption… and ego bashing or stroking.

Why not join me today and give your self a break, by shifting perspective away from what’s going on with you.

Free yourself from your small ego centric self.

Wake up and embrace the amazing world that we are all a part of.

beautiful world

51 comments on “You are Not the Problem”

  1. Jewels
    July 5, 2015

    This is good Val! x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. Hariod Brawn
    July 5, 2015

    I find a good way of doing that is to ask ‘where is awareness?’, not ‘where is awareness directed?’, but where actually is it? What we find is that it has no fixed location; it does not coalesce around ‘me’, nor does it emanate from ‘me’; rather, it is non-local, and in seeing this, the self-centric focus dissolves. 🙂 H ❤

    Liked by 6 people

    Reply
    • Val Boyko
      July 5, 2015

      Beautifully put Hariod! In my experience, the first step is being aware at a self level. From here we can move from a state of “self awareness” to a state of consciousness… where there is no movement and direction. Its a wonderful question to ask. ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  3. noellevignola
    July 5, 2015

    Mindfulness. The moment I get mindful to this moment and what is around me, I forget myself. Great piece, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. smilecalm
    July 5, 2015

    i didn’t think
    the problem
    was me, either 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. dianasschwenk
    July 5, 2015

    Sounds like great advice to me Val! ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. socialbridge
    July 5, 2015

    Great post, Val. I think there are huge dangers inherent in the ‘me, myself and I’ syndrome.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  7. Healing Grief
    July 5, 2015

    Wise words Val. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. mk
    July 5, 2015

    a refreshing post; thanks Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  9. Tiny
    July 5, 2015

    Great advice, Val!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  11. Kate @ Did That Just Happen?
    July 5, 2015

    I’m going to be aware of my “me” thoughts for a bit and see what I come up with, great reminder. (And makes me think of The Princess Diaries and her acceptance speech!)

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  12. Jenna Dee
    July 5, 2015

    Good advice Val, I will try very hard to do this today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Paul Handover
    July 5, 2015

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, Val! I’m going to float the idea that thinking of one’s thoughts is always going to return the notion that we think too much of ourself. Maybe an alternative is to deliberately set aside regular times where one can quieten the head. Such as meditation (that I’m no good at), or resting flat out in a quiet room listening to relaxing music on something like an iPod. In other words, actively giving the brain the space to ‘switch off’. All of which falls under the heading of do as I say, not as I do! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. Linda Geraghty
    July 5, 2015

    Val, thanks for this. It was extra helpful to me today.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. jacksjottings
    July 6, 2015

    Self reflection, to be mindful of our moods and emotions is helpful.
    “Poor me’ and ‘look at me’ kind of thoughts are not so good.
    The message of your post I liked the reminder.
    To put ones self first has its place but balance and understanding are needed.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  17. Don
    July 6, 2015

    It can be very sobering when you suddenly see how obsessive you can be about yourself. Strange how you quickly forget that sobering thought and before you know where you are you’re thinking about yourself again. But then you start obsessing about how obsessive you are about yourself. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Val Boyko
      July 6, 2015

      I hear you Don. Its an easy cycle to get caught up in Don. When the obsessor obsesses over obsessing and the judger judges the judging. Luckily lightness and humor helps dissolve its power.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  18. nrhatch
    July 6, 2015

    Getting out in nature (walking, biking, wading in the waves) helps me move from left brain (analysis, judging, weighing, etc.) to right brain (being in the moment while sensing sights, sounds, smells, etc.). Music, cooking, painting, laughing, also help me make the shift.

    Aah . . . that’s better!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. suzicate
    July 6, 2015

    Sounds like a great idea to me!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  20. Eliza Waters
    July 7, 2015

    I think this is why I like work that totally absorbs me…I get away from myself!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  21. hitbag
    July 8, 2015

    Val thanks for sharing this inspirational post. I believe that our thinking perception is the main key how we will live our life.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. Sue Dreamwalker
    July 8, 2015

    I have been for a change putting ME first.. and trying not to feel guilty over the self indulgence 🙂 Balance in all things.. Ebb and Flow…

    I so agreed with this paragraph
    ” Self reflection and introspection are valuable for us to learn about our inner world… but lets all be mindful about crossing the line from seeking understanding to self absorption… and ego bashing or stroking.”…..
    Well said..

    Hugs Sue

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  23. annabellefranklinauthor
    July 9, 2015

    Great post, Val. I always feel better when I can get out of my own way! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

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