ego and self image

Time for an other exploration into ego 101 based on my personal experience and reading.
Ego has come about as a reflection of how others responded to us as babies and young children. All of us come to adulthood with a self image and how we view ourselves. Yep – we all have an ego.

As adults we continue to monitor how we are doing in relationship to other people.  We want others to see us in a certain way. We also believe that this image is how we should be and how others should be too.

In our culture it is reinforced over and over again. To acquire certain things, to look a particular  way, to be part of a certain group. etc etc.

We create stories about how we are doing in relationship to others. What do they think of me? Why won’t they listen to me? I’ll show them what’s right. Will they like what I’m doing? My way is the best way. How do I compare with them? I must win! Am I doing it right? I don’t want to look … nervous, stupid, big headed, ignorant, like my father …

When we see an other, or ourselves acting differently from our ideal image, we are quick to judge. We believe this is the truth.

Ego is the preserver of our image of ourselves.

Looking back on my life I can see how my ego has evolved based on those around me, the beliefs and the culture. Some people will hold on to this image of themselves until the day they die, but more and more of us are waking up to seeing beyond our ego and self image.

We begin to recognize that other people have the same issues, yearnings and fears as we do. We recognize that we all wear masks.

We find compassion for others and their imperfections. And then find compassion and kindness for our own failings.

We realize that we are also part of something much bigger that connects us all.

you inverseWe are part of a bigger consciousness that has been named the Universe, God, Spirit, Source or Presence.

Our ego keeps us feeling separate. Yet within each of us is an element that is spirit and transcends our human bodies and ego.

I believe that we can find our true Self beyond our ego but can never let it fully go if we are to live independently in the world.

It is also the part of ourselves that we all struggle with in our spiritual journey. In yoga, this “i”ness is called Asmita, and is one of the five kleshas or causes of our suffering in the world. It keeps us separate and apart from others and the higher consciousness.

Let your higher Self embrace the smaller ego self like the child it is.

When we do this we find we become less attached to things in this world.

And happiness opens up within us.


32 comments on “* Beyond Ego

  1. Wowsza Val ~ excellent post. ♥ May happiness expand in all of us!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Egoless: “the still point of the turning world” ( to quote Eliot). And yes Val, the world keeps turning around the still point of its axis; the image of self continues to know itself cognitively – for that is what ego is, self reflected to self. Perhaps our journey towards the egoless presence is all about centring upon your middle ground; I very much think so; and who knows, maybe even settling at last at Eliot’s still point?


  3. In the Stillness of Willow Hill

    Really beautiful explanation of ego’s role. And yes, we did adopt these roles in childhood…and continue to reinforce them in adulthood….until we realize that awareness brings us back to the depth and beauty of that part of us which is deeper than ego. Blessings on your day, my friend.


  4. What a great post Val! It made me realize that a lot of the growth and change I’ve been working towards is Ego related, and I’ve always wondered about it when people talk about, but now I get it! Thank you!


  5. Val, What a striking photo and beautiful words. The connection is growing stronger, the unity, I believe it. Thank you for your brilliant guiding light! 🙂

    Peace, friend,

    Allison XO


  6. Ego urges us to be consistent.
    Spirit urges us to just be.


    • Thank you for adding here Nancy – what a great tie in to your post this morning!


      • Thanks, Val. When I read your post, I did notice the tie in . . . and also with Tiny’s post which started off with this quote:

        “The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” – Christopher McCandless


  7. As everyone has been saying, excellent post, Val. You do a great job of clarifying some things for me.


  8. Indeed, each of us has an ego-mind. What makes the study of it interesting is to observe how many people have learned to manage/co-exist/dismiss it when it presents. As with all matters we can choose how we permit the ego-mind to influence and affect us. If one does not control it, it will control. In my view — Ain’t nobody got time for that. 🙂


    • Right on Eric. As always, the first step is bringing awareness to it and growing our ability to observe ourselves. When we can do this then we can become self masterful. It is our work Eric 🙂


  9. Thanks Val…great post on the ego …which has a mind all its own and wishes to be in charge. I am amazed at how hard it tries to hold on when it senses it is losing ground. Many wishes of love and blessings to you during this sacred holiday!! ❤


  10. What a great post, Val! “Let your higher Self embrace the smaller ego self like the child it is.” says it all. When the ego self is embraced by light it gradually loses its desire to be in control – that’s my hope anyway.


  11. Wonderful post. It’s just a shame that I’m ‘writing’ this reply on a tablet because I would so much prefer a keyboard! Showing my age, I guess! For it is my view that our egos are, for the majority of us, complex mixes of the person we know we are, the person we think we are, and the (subconscious) person that is beyond sight. Let me quickly say that this is the view of just an ordinary chap without any professional knowledge of psychology. Guess it all comes down to relationships, right back to the day of our birth. Fond regards to all.


  12. This is so good, Val! x


  13. Excellent post. ‘Let your Higher self embrace your smaller ego self like the child it is’. Such wise words, Val! Some teachings are harsh towards the ego, seeing it as bad or even something that should be eradicated – this just creates more conflict. Much better to see it in a loving light.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Really a great post Val, we need to learn to get out of our ego’s, they stand between us and the spiritual freedom.


  15. Pingback: * Reflections on Ego – “I” and “i” | Find Your Middle Ground

  16. Thanks for your thoughtful comments. As a family therapist, I see the damage that overblown egos cause in intimate relationships. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

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