Compassion Connection Love middle ground Mindfulness

Being Graceful When Triggered

I can recall so clearly what happens when I am triggered. It still surprises me when I am, but I also know that it will pass when I let myself feel what’s going on. I used to think that being graceful was putting on a brave face and not showing how hurt I was.  Rather than storming off and vowing never to speak to that person again …. I guess I’ve found my own way of finding grace when triggered.

The Argument

How dare you!! 

Come into the present moment and notice

the pounding head, the clenched jaw and hands in fists

the thoughts that spark like fiery daggers

Don’t control me! I don’t want this! I don’t need you!

Feel the tears and absolute frustration

the vulnerability at being in this place of hurt and loss.

Loss of control. Loss of connection. Loss of understanding.

Become that wee girl too young for words

crying girl

She knows this place. This sheer frustration. Hurting and not knowing why.

Let this rage turn into one of your biggest breaths ever

Open your mouth and gasp like a fish

take in the air that nourishes and calms

Let it out with a cry from your very soul.

Let the tears roll. Feel their heat running down your cheeks.


Feel the energy dropping through you like a stone

allow it to release and pass through the mesh that’s your body

Feel the unburdening and letting go

notice the softening  in your body, your thoughts and your being

Say hello to this vulnerable part of you

Feel the relief and the love

You are still here.

And now you are ready to talk about what just happened.


19 comments on “Being Graceful When Triggered

  1. Reblogged this on Find Your Middle Ground and commented:

    One of the topics I always come back to being graceful in the lows of life and how to handle the flood of emotions that most of us feel when we are triggered.
    I have also noticed that over the past few years I have become less likely to react and am able to let go and come into the present moment.
    As I re-read this post called The Argument, my body contracts and I feel an echo of the very same reaction running through me.
    At the end I find myself smiling with relief and gratitude.
    I am on a path of learning and growth. 😌

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Love. Love. Love this post. I feel like I need a button that instead of LIKE says, Been there. Done That. Growing beyond it.

    Like you, I believe triggers are an important opportunity to see myself at my least graceful and grow into healing through the trigger.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This sounds so easy, but it is not easy. By practice it might become more easy by time. Great post Val 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Irene. Not many of us were taught how to handle our emotional reactions when we were growing up. We copied from those around us … Knowing its okay to feel like this and learn how to release the emotional energy would have been so helpful and healing early on!


  4. Stepping back to take the time to breathe before we speak, always has a better outcome. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Powerful stuff Val, and a great challenge even for many a mature adult. It’s good to be back to your words and wisdom; I’ve missed them this past couple of weeks.

    H ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have missed your words and presence too! So many times I thought “I wonder what Hariod would say about this?!”
      Glad you are back in this realm. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Lovely post and great reminder, thank you Val. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I so relate to this Val… I just had myself a mini meltdown last night, actually.
    *Deep breaths*
    Such is life…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lovely post and thanks for sharing it. Recognizing one’s triggers really does reshape one’s reactions, I think. As you commented, it keeps one present. Thanks, Val!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Never fun to go down that path, but as you said in a previous post, melt it like an ice cube! (I’ve shared that one amongst my friends – it’s a good one!) I don’t like how I feel after a triggered response, so releasing it quickly is a good approach. Fall down, get back up!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Getting there.
    Thanks for the tips on the techniques

    Liked by 1 person

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