Dealing with Stress and my Inner Teenager

waves of life

This is a re-blog of a post that was powerful for me to work through. As we continue through these difficult times, more and more stress and distress will impact us all. May we all find our middle ground in the waves of life.


On Tuesday I had a stressful day. A dip in the highs and lows of life day. It wasn’t surprising. I had some concerning news that took the wind out of my sails, and I developed a pressure cooker of a sinus headache. I was in a trough. I know how my mind and body are connected. My body tells me quite clearly when I have to pay attention to what is happening around me and what I am feeling.

The message is clear –  take care of my well being. Pause. Connect to my Self.

In hindsight it is easy to catch, but at the time it may take a bit longer to realize that we are under stress. In this particular occasion it became very clear as I went through emails and started to read updates from fellow bloggers. As I painfully squinted at the screen. I was no longer present, but my inner judge was! “What do they want? … Why bother me with this?… How stupid! How superficial!… They are so self centered!… Don’t they get it?… This is trivial! Who has time for frivolity? Pl-ease get to the point.”

Teenage brat

My thinking revealed that Val was not present or in balance. My defensive inner teenager had been unleashed.

Everyone was dumb. They didn’t get it. They didn’t see how much pain I was in. They took advantage of me. They tried to control me. All the unmet needs from the past were right there demanding attention.

Our inner teenager  is challenging and requires some kindness and understanding. Its in pain – emotionally and often physically. It has so many unmet needs and is trying to figure out how to get them met as they move from childhood into independence.  It is our ego at the height of all of its immature defensive glory.

One part of me was determined to be miserable and show the world (?) that I had every right to be. Thankfully the part of me who has learned to be a compassionate observer knew that it was time to unplug. NOW!

You are stressed. Take care of yourself  and find your middle ground. Be gentle and kind. Let things be as they are. Let this mood/energy pass and find its way to nurturing balance once more.

Stones surrounded by rushing water

It was easier after I had taken half a Sinutab and put on my favorite restorative yoga music. I embraced everything that was coming up. I noticed resistance. I breathed and didn’t push. I found my middle ground and was able to stay there. Healing tears fell softly. I meditated and lost track of time. My husband came and went and let me be. He knows better than me sometimes.

I began to feel better and went to watch tv to distract myself … and found I had no appetite for it at all. ZERO. I wanted to stay in solitude. I journaled instead.

The old habits of distractions, shopping, cleaning, entertainment, drinking and eating had lost their pull in that moment. By being fully present and knowing how to ride the wave and find my middle ground allowed me to center myself.

So I honored the request to be alone and put my teenager to bed early. I woke up as a headache free and stress free adult once more. Ready to approach the day with a sense of curiosity.

Thank you to the makers of Sinutab, yoga and meditation, journaling, my husband and friends who support and nourish me, and to those of you who read this today!

May we all find our middle ground in the waves of life.

Namaste 

29 thoughts on “Dealing with Stress and my Inner Teenager

  1. Really an inspirational post, Val. I think, that mostly of us have knowledge about this way of reacting sometimes.
    Good for you to be able to recognize this in yourself.
    I have used years to get along with the past and to forgive and release the emotions, as could call for this kind of reaction. For now it is many years ago, I felt like this.
    I will agree with you, that in stressed situations, it is more difficult to view so clearly.
    Much love to you, dear friend ❀

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thank heaven for the Observer-self! πŸ™‚ Thanks, Val, for your honest example of what to do to take care of ourselves when we hit a trough in life. A helpful reminder for an all-too-common malady these days. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so interesting, especially toward the end when you mention distractions. I’ve been trying to write a post for days. About distractions! I give up. Like you and the television, I just need to be solitary away from what has always been my saving grace, the distraction of writing. Because for me at least, writing is a reflective process, weaving together past, present, future. When there is only now. And it seems these days, staying present in the now is all consuming. What challenging times!

    At any rate, today is my (your) Tuesday. The ups and downs of dealing with government institutions that are very much in the throes of radical change is daunting. Because of Covid, we can’t see anyone face-to-face to resolve some of these minor would be major issues if they’re not resolved! Irrigation ditch rights. Agricultural exemption for our ranch property. Social Security cutting my benefit because of what Chris made two years ago. I could definitely wring some necks, if my thoughts became actions. Which of course they don’t. Still, it has been a bitch of a day.

    So I think I’ll take the dogs for a hike. Get my breath moving. Love to you Val, I feel for you, for sure. πŸŽˆπŸ™πŸ˜˜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yep – sounds like a trying day. Thankfully you got out with the dogs. I hope you have a bigger perspective and are able to be with what is not in your control. Letting go is the most important lesson for me.
      Of course, ego mind kicks in with – Don’t be so passive. – Stand up for yourself. Shake things up… because you can now!
      And then I step back and realize it’s the wounded part of me wanting to be seen.
      Feel the love for this part of you. There’s acceptance and a knowing that thing work out. They always do now… as long as we are patient πŸ’›πŸ™πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

      • They do. And i am aware of wounds as pertains to accessing true feelings. Writing has always been a way to work that out. Patience is a longstanding nemesis; less do, these days. But the other there are times.

        Thanks for your sweet compassionate response to my comment on your post! Bless you, Val. πŸ™πŸ’•

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I can totally relate to the inner teenager acting up! It is like the world owes an apology LOL and no explanation from any human is enough. The only way out is through I have learned in this regard to – feel the feelings and choose things that help pacify and relax, give time to become a grown up again πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think we all need this reminder (thank you) – these times are stressful now. All times are stressful in this life, but now even more so. Sometimes we need to just be kind to ourselves and STOP. I have yoga (Zoom) in an hour and I can’t wait. xoxox

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rings very true Val. Our inner teenager can sure take over at times, and just like the teen we once were, we need to rest and recharge. Your post has also helped me to think and be understanding with my own teenage granddaughters. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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