Quick Relationship Tip

Its fun to look back and find the right advice on my blog.  Enjoy this re-post!
doggie butt

Don’t put your “but” in the face of an angry person.

Angry people are in a triggered reactive state.

The ability to listen or think logically diminishes with the rise of  strong emotions.

The animal or limbic brain takes over control from the reasoning pre-frontal cortex.

Evidence also shows that when we grip our jaw, we are less able to listen through our ears.

Be careful of those buts.

Wait until the person has calmed down before trying to use reason.



32 thoughts on “Quick Relationship Tip

    • Thank you for sharing this Edy. Being triggered can activate our brains in different ways. The initial response is primeval. Often the later response is one we have learned to handle conflict. Intelligent people often use their knowledge as a strength to diminish their opponent. It is still in protective mode however. Notice next time if you are really open to alternative viewpoints, or are creating a case for being right.


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  2. That’s very good advice. I remember once when I was SO angry at our local power company because we’d been without power for five days during a very hot and humid July. I was talking to a neighbor, who kept defending them, and it only made me angrier because I wasn’t ready to listen to reason. Finally, she suggested that we get together for a dinner “in the dark” instead, and we agreed on that. That also calmed me down, and THEN I was able to realize that it really wasn’t anyone’s fault that we happened to be the last area to have power restored. And bonus: during the middle of the dinner, the power came back on! Talk about karma……

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “There can be no knowledge without emotion. We may be aware of a truth, yet until we have felt its force, it is not ours. To the cognition of the brain must be added the experience of the soul.” (Arnold Bennett)

    Liked by 1 person

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