confounded man

“When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as if it were.”    ~ Eckhart Tolle

“Stepping into the role of detached observer allows us to let things be as they are while maintaining balance.” ~ Nancy at Spirit Lights the Way

“When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

As Don Miguel Ruiz says: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.”

Let’s think about it. Imagine interacting with the same person in two different situations.

In the first encounter, this person has had a terrific day. They got a good night’s sleep and everything has gone their way every since. They feel great! How do you think they’re going to treat us? Probably pretty well, right?

Now we encounter the same person. This time, they got a really bad night’s  sleep, got into a car accident on the way to work, forgot their iPhone, forgot to eat, and realized they missed a crucial deadline. They are not in such a good mood. How do you think they’re going to treat us now? …. Oh oh watch out and keep your head down!

The important thing to note here is that WE were exactly the same in both situations.

Yet, if we base our opinion of ourselves on how someone else treats us, the world becomes a fearful unstable place and we lose touch with our own reality. We seek answers outside of ourself rather than from within.

Take a moment to pause here and reflect on the last time you were upset with someone. Perhaps you were taking their behavior too personally.

People have bad days. Upsetting things happen. We all experience the highs and lows of life.

Take time to pause and find your middle ground.

Life isn’t personal.

pick yourself up

48 comments on “* Life isn’t personal

  1. Dang! It’s not ‘all about me?’ 🙂

    Great post Val — love it and such a wonderful reminder to stay in my self, and not try to appropriate another’s self! Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post, Val…love the imagine too!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I learned this lesson in business at a young age. I attributed much of my business success to the fact that I could read when someone was having a bad day. Not only didn’t I take things personal but I would try to make something good happen for that person. It always works. It’s harder to apply in personal life because you think people who love you shouldn’t transfer their “bad day” onto you. In my family, we do the “I’m cranky today so don’t get angry at me” statement. That goes a long way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the work space share Kate. I found filling other people’s buckets went a long way too! Its even better to be open and upfront with family when we are having a tough day. Great comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great words…and the pic of the orange…imaginative ! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. Love this post! Great quotes. 😉


  8. Another wonderful message, Val, and the illustration is catchy.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. On of the best life lessons! I had a situation recently when another person was given the opportunity to share frustrations over an event, but it was a pretty vile rant about what an awful person I was instead; however, I had already realized that said person was seeing me how they wanted to, and their actions spoke volumes about who they were, not who I was. It was a good lesson I had recognized in them before this rant, and I was immediately able to be okay with it!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love this subject. It wasn’t until I read The Four Agreements and read that section then took time to REALLY think about it. And all of a sudden the light bulb clicked on. Hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Right on time! Thanks Val.


  12. Great advice! Too often I find myself taking personally people’s behaviour when they are just having a bad day.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Great advice.
    Can be hard to apply when one is caught up in another person’s bad day though. It’s only in hindsight that we can really appreciate the fact that it was the other person’s bad day, not our problem.
    Kate Crimmins in her comment above has the right idea. Trying to do good for that person makes all the difference.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Making others feel good is a wonderful way to build connection and trust…. yet we all have bad days. How we deal with our own, will also reflect on how we deal with other’s. Do we do good for ourselves too …
      Thank you joining in the conversation Vicki 💛


  14. Ego can be one tough cookie! 😉
    Love the orange-man!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Val, excellent lesson here…being the observer helps so much, but we have to remember to see that way. Thanks for sharing. I love your posts as they are always so timely in my life. Sychronicity? ♥ I’m grateful.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. This is so great a post Val and it speaks to me, even I do know this, but sometimes I do forget, when things come too close and I can’t do anything to change them.
    Your quotes from great authors are so true and I read books by them many years ago first time. Thank you for bringing this post.


  17. Wonderfully stated Val.. oh wish I had you in my life some years ago to teach me this very lesson that took me a long long while to understand.. as I would take everything personally .. Thankfully I grew.. and did some more growing… and still I Grow.. Like that little yellow flower in a previous post .. 😉 Love you and your wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Carol Ferenc

    What a wonderful post, Val. Just the other day my hubby and I had an encounter with a service professional who was obviously having a bad day. Not the first time with this person either. It was upsetting at the time but by following your advice I’ll put it into the proper perspective now.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Good advice, Val. I’m trying to pick myself up, just like the orange 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Hi Val, thanks for following my blog! And I love that orange peel man. Wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

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