* Ego Blooming Blogging

July 31, 2014

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Emotional Intelligence, Inner Wisdom, Kindness, middle ground, Mindfulness, Self Discovery

I have been reading some beautiful, inspiring, challenging, reflective posts today. Catching up after the weekend. There is so much to appreciate from others.

And a part of me wants to be more eloquent and poetic. A true craftsman of words and reflections on life. A real artist.

And I feel a small contraction in my body. I am shrinking….

In that moment I can practically see my judge take up the gown and gavel, rising up and then looking down at me.

“You really don’t compare with those other bloggers, do you? Can’t you be better?”

And just then, I opened up a recent post on Soul Healing Art

Kim asks “What if your only “job” is to give love and receive love?”

🙂

Case dismissed

Re-set

Heart open ❤ ❤ ❤

Dear ego, thank you for visiting.

Gratitude to Kim and all the peeps who share their love and speak from their heart and soul in the blogosphere.

Some of you are so darn good!

Love to all.

(Its my job)

Val x

p.s. Can’t help but wonder if you have experienced something like this? …..

44 responses to “* Ego Blooming Blogging”

Hariod Brawn

Jul 31, 2014 at 10:46 am

Personal comparison can be so pernicious can’t it Val?

It’s the setting up and measuring of ideas of ‘me’ against ideas of ‘you’, and so all that’s being measured are these ideas themselves in what is no more than yet another idea – pointless, circular, harmful, unavoidable?

Hariod. ❤

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:29 pm
  
  Thank you Hariot for your wisdom as always!
  I feel drawn to share my vulnerable moments with others. I want them to realize that we are all imperfect and things can throw us off sometimes.
  Val x
  
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stormiesteele

Jul 31, 2014 at 10:59 am

We each are endowed with such wealth – multiple layers of uniqueness abilities….never a reason to compare ourselves. You do so very well, the thing that you do. ~Stormie Steele

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:30 pm
  
  Yes indeed Stormie! We are all unique have gifts to share. Love the phrase “multiple layers of uniqueness”.
  Thank you.
  Val x
  
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  1. stormiesteele
    
    Aug 1, 2014 at 10:02 am
    
    You’re encouraging Val ~ thank you! 🙂 Although it was meant as “multiple layers of uniqueness & abilities…” ~typos 🙂
    
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    1. Val Boyko
      
      Aug 1, 2014 at 1:57 pm
      
      Even sweeter 🙂 Thank you!
      
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      1. stormiesteele
        
        Aug 2, 2014 at 11:07 am
        
        🙂
        
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smilecalm

Jul 31, 2014 at 10:59 am

so wonderful
to be as one
except
when we’re not 🙂

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:31 pm
  
  Love this David.
  Thank you 🙂
  
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Jewels

Jul 31, 2014 at 11:17 am

So simple and so profound, truly. And I think that is our job. Thanks for sharing this Val. Going to check out Soul Healing Art…

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:31 pm
  
  Thank you Julie! Have fun over at Kim’s 🙂
  
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aveline07

Jul 31, 2014 at 11:39 am

Love and simple…just be you, there’s room for all 🙂

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:32 pm
  
  Thank you Aveline for the reminder for each of us to be true to ourselves. I appreciate you stopping by.
  Val x
  
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  1. aveline07
    
    Jul 31, 2014 at 2:43 pm
    
    Oops…and I mean “lovely”…have a good one Val. xoxo
    
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dianasschwenk

Jul 31, 2014 at 11:53 am

All the time Val – especially when I think I’ve been stupid and foolish! Hugs to you my friend. ❤
Diana xo

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:34 pm
  
  What .. you too?
  (That used to be one of my favorite cards)
  Hugs right back at you Diana.
  Val xo
  
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Kate @ Did That Just Happen?

Jul 31, 2014 at 1:49 pm

One of my main goals is to stop comparing myself to others – and it’s a work in progress!
And, I LOVE Kim’s blog! 😉

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:34 pm
  
  Thanks Kate for sharing here!
  Val x
  
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kimberlyharding

Jul 31, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Oh my goodness, I read this and I was simply shocked. First, thank you for mentioning my blog and the words I wrote that day. I think of them consciously throughout the day and I see how they are transforming me. When we boil everything down to love, it is gets so much simpler.

Okay, here is the part that shocks me- I think you are so together. I have read your blog and thought “Why can’t I be more like her? She always stays on topic, she is insightful, and she always puts out a little encouraging insight at the end.” Plus, you have left so many thought-provoking comments to my posting, I really just imagined you so centered and aware.

I appreciate you being honest and open and sharing this. It shows that what we think of others may or may not be how they see themselves 🙂 Keep sending out your wonderful love and energy!

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:38 pm
  
  There are many lessons behind the one we think we are learning. I am centered and aware… when I am.
  From one flawed fabulous human being to another.
  Riding the waves together and reminding ourselves of what matters… love ❤
  Val x
  
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nrhatch

Jul 31, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Four things popped into my mind as I read this:

* Desiderata ~> Do not compare yourself with others. You will become vain and bitter. For always there will be greater and lesser persons that yourself.

* Our job is not to be better/smarter/wiser/faster/kinder than someone else . . . it’s to be better/smarter/wiser/faster/kinder than our previous self.

* Progress, not perfection.

* What if seekers need only ask: How well do I love?

And, last, to answer your question:

Since I write what I write to satisfy my inner urges and internal compass, I don’t spend much time worrying about how others will receive/perceive what I write. I do expand most posts beyond “personal journal entries” to increase (possible) relevance to others . . . but I leave it to the Universe to guide people to read (or ignore) my words.

I did a post some time ago that explains this approach to writing:

Whether or not something I write resonates with a given reader depends on the reader. If I write honestly, my intended audience will appear while those who are not intended to be in my pool of readers will drift away.

When we are enjoying the journey, we stop worrying about finding our intended audience ~ we trust that our intended audience will find us.

Our Field Of Dreams

And . . . for what it’s worth . . . almost everything you write resonates with this reader!

Namaste!

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:46 pm
  
  Thank you for the wisdom here Nancy. ❤
  I get it. I've done the work. I no longer give a hoot about what others think.
  I embrace who I am. I've got the authentic t shirt. I teach and support others about it.
  I live it darn it …. and then this little piece of self doubt comes up out of the blue.
  It feels good to be reminded that the teacher is also a student… and there is a part in all of us that is vulnerable.
  And its okay 🙂
  hugs
  Val
  
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  1. nrhatch
    
    Jul 31, 2014 at 3:04 pm
    
    It IS ok!
    
    After doing the work and climbing the mountain for the first time, I thought, “I’m never going back down THERE again.” But then, something happened, and I found myself in a heap at the bottom of the mountain.
    
    Where I stayed. The End. {Just Kidding}.
    
    There was NO WAY I was climbing that mountain AGAIN. So, I took a short-cut. I envisioned myself on top of the mountain and that desire manifested itself with no effort on my part. Huzzah!
    
    I expect the same is true with you ~ this was just a TEST to see how quickly you rebounded from the minor set back.
    
    And, of course, it took NO TIME at all.
    
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    1. Val Boyko
      
      Jul 31, 2014 at 4:53 pm
      
      Haha! Love your rebound shortcut visualization Nancy 🙂
      
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Eric Tonningsen

Jul 31, 2014 at 2:41 pm

I intentionally strive to simplify life, Val. When I read your words (and being familiar with your posts), I thought — Why does she feel the need to compare? She knows who she is; the gifts she possesses and; that wanting to be like others serves little purpose, other than perhaps to fuel the ego mind.

Why not simply be, in the moment, and appreciate all with which you are blessed? In abundance. 🙂

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:48 pm
  
  Thanks Eric. It took me by surprise as well. That I could be vulnerable in this way. See my response to Nancy above.
  The teacher is also the student 🙂
  Val x
  
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russtowne

Jul 31, 2014 at 2:44 pm

Love in action (kindness) creates a beauty all it’s own. Thank you for all the beauty you share with the world, Val. As you continue sharing from your heart the world will continue becoming brighter for those whose hearts you touch.
Russ

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 2:49 pm
  
  Thank you Russ for your loving kindness.
  Val x
  
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nrhatch

Jul 31, 2014 at 3:07 pm

Here’s to being a WIP ~> Work In Progress!

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 3:15 pm
  
  Yes indeed Nancy. So good to have you embracing it too 🙂
  
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Don

Jul 31, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Val, you and your blog are an inspiration. Your openness and honesty are such a gift. You are You – stay that way or else we lose something precious. 🙂

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 4:35 pm
  
  Thank you Don from my heart to yours. ❤
  Val
  
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Healing Grief

Jul 31, 2014 at 3:58 pm

Great honest post Val, love judge judy!

For months I never received a like on any of my posts and I began to get a little disillusioned with my writing and wondered if i should change what I was doing, until one day I just decided to stop writing to get approval or reward and write because I love it.

That’s when I got my first “like”!

You inspire me all the time Val, so never doubt you are making a difference.

Karen

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 4:38 pm
  
  Thank you so much Karen for sharing your own vulnerability… and your kind words. I know that we all make a difference and writing from the heart will do it 🙂
  Val x
  
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suzjones

Jul 31, 2014 at 5:58 pm

I feel it all the time. I read the words of others and wonder why I even try to write. But I continue to write what is on my heart (and in my head) and hope that by doing so, I not only help myself but maybe (hopefully) I may be able to help someone else.

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 7:46 pm
  
  Thanks Sue – I love this message to keep writing from our mind and heart!
  hugs,
  Val x
  
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  1. suzjones
    
    Aug 1, 2014 at 5:42 pm
    
    I have been wondering lately at the lack of comments and drop in stats on my blog and concerned that I am doing something wrong but I have kept reminding myself that it is my blog, my thoughts, my feelings. That is what is the most important thing. 🙂
    
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    1. Val Boyko
      
      Aug 1, 2014 at 7:14 pm
      
      Keep sharing from your heart Sue! Find the inspiration within yourself and share it with others. We all go through the highs and lows of life … and its how we handle this is what others are drawn to.
      Val x
      
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In the Stillness of Willow Hill

Jul 31, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Learning to be aware of our “bogging judgment” is a huge part of this journey. Instead of running away from this venue….we choose to stay and lovingly face each experience that arises. That one act….spells LOVE, and that’s what it’s all about. It’s such a blessing to read such honesty.

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 7:52 pm
  
  Thanks so much ISWH for your insight here. I appreciate it! I agree. Choosing to face each experience with openness and love is a huge part of the learning in the blogosphere. We get to “meet” people who would not normally cross our paths and get to know others pretty well from distant lands. We encounter different cultures and beliefs…. and yet we share a common connection in this space. It’s an awesome learning experience 🙂 And not what I imagined as I set out.
  How cool is that!
  Val x
  
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lisa thomson-The Great Escape…

Jul 31, 2014 at 9:03 pm

That darn ego! Of course, I think we all feel that way sometimes. Keep writing from your heart, Val and everyone will want to hear what you have to say. You are unique!

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Aug 1, 2014 at 1:58 pm
  
  Thanks Lisa for your open hearted kindness 🙂
  Hugs
  Valx
  
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ladyfi

Aug 1, 2014 at 9:18 am

The only person we should compare ourselves to is ourselves… but easier said than done, right?

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1. Val Boyko
  
  Aug 1, 2014 at 2:01 pm
  
  Sometimes it is so Fiona! Thank you for stopping by!
  Val x
  
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I’d love to hear from you … Cancel reply

● About Me

My name is Val Boyko, a dual citizen living near Philadelphia, originally from Scotland.

This blog came to life one morning in 2013. I woke up with these words in my mind: “Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. And find contentment in your Middle Ground.”

Find Your Middle Ground blog started to explore, reflect, ask deep questions, share insights about awakening, and connect with wonderful people like yourself. Thank you for being here and being such an inspiration.