So many of life’s experiences challenge us and give us the opportunity to learn and grow – especially in our relationships with others and getting to know our authentic selves. As we grow in awareness, we take responsibility for all our experiences and our feelings. With patience and practice we stop blaming others and learn to look inside ourselves instead, with curiosity and compassion.

power struggle

This is the first step in being able to forgive. In order to truly forgive an other we must  take responsibility for our own feelings. We have to own how we feel and acknowledge all that is going on inside of us.

Although someone else has said or done something that distresses us, these are our feelings.

The action of the other has triggered a tender vulnerable part of us. When we become reactive and defensive, we lose touch with the real issue (what we are feeling) and it becomes all about them.

This triggered reaction is part of our survival mechanism. Yet it is our ego and smaller self that defends and holds on to resentment. Our heart and higher Self only wants peace and love.

We can’t make anyone else change, but we can change ourselves. We do that by acknowledging what is happening, shifting our thinking… and letting go of the need to be right.

Owning our feelings is one of the most important steps in growing from an adult into a loving mature human being.

The next time you feel resentment towards someone else, bring your attention inwards instead. Ask yourself:

“Do I really want to feel this way?”

“What is really happening here?”

“How have I contributed to this?”

“What is my heart telling me?”

“What do I need to let go of?”

… “Am I ready to forgive?”

Namaste

33 comments on “First Step to Forgiveness

  1. “We can’t make anyone else change, but we can change ourselves. We do that by acknowledging what is happening, shifting our thinking… and letting go of the need to be right.” – a pivotal paragraph in a very sound post

    Liked by 2 people

  2. this is so very important

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We forgive others, but the act of forgiveness benefits us.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sharon Lawrence

    Good synopsis Val! Climbing the mountain called forgiveness…

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A lovely post, Val. I have to work on forgiving politicians. Lol. I have a real block there. Everyone else, no sweat. ❤ ❤ ❤ Have a beautiful weekend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. as Cat Stevens says in one of his songs, “the answer lies within”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What happens when you’re traumatized by someone’s behavior

    PTSD complicates and changes life

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ‘Change your thinking, change your life.’ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great post, Val. I would add this, “Do I have an unmet need? If so, what?” Sometimes this gets tangled into the anger/blame/upset. It is within my control to identify my needs and find a way to care for myself.
    Wishing you a great day.
    Ali

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Indeed Val, we cannot forgive another unless we first learn to forgive ourselves…and on through all of those emotions we experience. And then finally love ourselves by experiencing them all…only then can we truly love another. All else is that classroom of love, Beautifully written dear lady, may we find that beauty of forgiveness within to set us free into that love 😀❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “With patience and practice we stop blaming others and learn to look inside ourselves instead, with curiosity and compassion.” What a powerful line 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Wonderful advice, Val.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. What a lovely invitation filled with heart advice. Thank you, Val!

    Liked by 1 person

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