
“Two people have been living in you all of your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, and calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice of wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to.”
~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
I often hear others on spiritual journeys say that they are working to overcome, conquer, or destroy their egos.
But can this truly work? A part of me says not. This is because crushing, overcoming, and conquering are themselves acts of violence and therefore acts of ego.
The judging of ego as “bad” is an act of ego.
You cannot overcome ego with ego. Ego is who you’ve always thought you are, so trying to overcome who you think you are, is an assault upon yourself.
The path beyond ego is to recognize your ego self and embrace it for what it is.
Ego is necessary and important because it defines our sense of self, clarifies our boundaries and develops our personality while protecting us from disappointment, rejection, and harm.
The ego always needs validation and identification with a persona to remain nourished and to grow.
By resisting it and fighting it, you are helping it to grow. The more you resist it, the more it will show itself in a new more acceptable persona.
So, when it reveals itself with criticisms and judgments, or by showing off and caring about what others think, pause and step back. Notice and then accept it for what it is.
Don’t fuel it with more drama. If you damn it, it will resist and become stronger.
Instead, love it as you would a small child who doesn’t know any other way to be.
This is the way that ego will fade into insignificance… and your heart will fill with love and compassion for yourself and other human beings struggling right beside you.
Namaste
Wonderful words of wisdom Val and just what i needed to hear today 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Lorraine 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Instead, love it as you would a small child who doesn’t know any other way to be.” Love this line, Val. Thank you! ❤
LikeLiked by 4 people
Like a child is my favorite aspect too Jill. We can make different choices when we have insight and awareness. 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
“as a small child”…my favorite line too. Thanks, Val. 💘
LikeLiked by 3 people
Me too Van. Compassion for our human ways helps break us free from the constructs and demands of ego. 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the reminder, Val. We do try hard to fight the ego like an unwanted thing and it just grows stronger. Treating it like a small child is great advice! 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
Glad this resonated with you Ally. Thank you 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely Val. We don’t get anywhere with denying. We must accept, love and go on from there 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
So true Irene. Denying, resisting and fighting keep us from evolving into our best selves 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLike
So often I hear that we must control or crush our ego but what you say is try. We can only be aware of who we are and move on accordingly. Thanks for your thoughtful post. (also love the small child reference)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Kate 💕
LikeLike
Yes Please, Thank You!
LikeLiked by 1 person
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu
“We carry around so many memories, intentions, and concepts in the pockets of the mind. Keep emptying your pockets.” ~ Writing on Water, Mooji
The unblocked mind is free to flow like a river, the wind, a breath, or a cloud with no hesitation. The unblocked mind hears the heart when it whispers . . . Just Flow.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Beautiful Nancy 💛 I love this quote from Mooji. Thank you for adding to the conversation and enriching it further.
LikeLike
Indeed. Well said, dear Val. Our egos are as important as our hearts are. It is as much a part of who we are as are our souls. Otherwise, how would we know who we are in these human suits? Balance. Lead with heart. That is what works for me. 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Lovely words and sentiment Carrie. Thank you 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
I need this message somewhere I can see it every day. 😬
LikeLiked by 2 people
On the mirror is a good place to put this message 😉 thanks Jennifer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLike
Wonderful and wise words to reflect on, Val. Have a lovely Sunday. ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Diana. I hope your Sunday has been nurturing 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
A tricky subject, isn’t it Val? ‘Ego’ is one of those words that gets bandied around whilst no one’s quite sure what it means – a bit like ‘god’, perhaps, or the supposed ‘soul’? My own conception of it is certainly not alone one of any “garrulous, demanding, hysterical” self-construct, but rather more broadly the self-construct itself including those traits (perhaps), but including the whole panoply of human emotional expressions. More than this, then given its access to cognition (because it’s an internal brain state), then it’s aware of itself as a construct – i.e. ‘the self of me’. Because this is an evolved disposition of all humans, then I entirely agree with you that it cannot be jettisoned by any means. What is possible, is precisely what you suggest: “The path beyond ego is to recognize your ego self and embrace it for what it is.” In other words, it’s to see it as a product of mentation and the mentative flow, but not to identify with it, not to inhabit it and not to take its utterances seriously. It’s something like Ryle’s ghost in the machine, but a ghost that keeps nattering away perpetually trying to validate its own existence to itself and assuming its own agency (doer-ship) over all of our actions. Anyone who can laugh at themselves is well on the way to realising this, I think. H ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
YES! ~> “In other words, it’s to see it as a product of mentation and the mentative flow, but not to identify with it, not to inhabit it and not to take its utterances seriously.”
LikeLiked by 4 people
Love these words!
LikeLike
Yes Ego gets shipped into a job lot that says its bad.. When in fact it can keep us in check also.. Understanding our dual selves and questioning our motives.. And Hariod has embodied it beautifully.. May we all learn to Laugh at ourselves. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Sue for adding your voice here. Laughter surely dissolves its hold 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The only way we can better ourselves is by accepting who we are…because it completes us…you fight a piece of you..you lose your entire yourself…love this post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
So true. Thank you for sharing your wisdom 💕
LikeLiked by 2 people
I see her and I love my funny ego! She isn’t as loud these days. But she reminds me she’s there from time to time ha!! Great post Val 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Karen! When we see her and laugh, we know we are making progress 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really identify with your post, Val. I’ve so often thought along the same lines. Fighting the ego, “improving” the personality, etc, are keeping me focused at that level. As you say, look with love as if it’s a child who knows no better.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So glad it resonated with you MK. Thank you 💛
LikeLike
so encouraging, Val!
at times it has felt
like more than two 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
It does David. When ego starts to argue with itself, a whole parade of characters can appear 💛
LikeLike
For many years I have used an analogy similar to this with patients. The idea that each of our personality characteristics including our strongest emotions is valuable and necessary but that while the impulsive, greedy and selfish aspects are welcomed to the table, they cannot be in charge. I learned this from a zen Buddhist friend.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the analogy of being around a table with the different personalities! Thanks Sunny 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed! 🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love IS always the answer…isn’t it, Val? Much love…hope you are well ♡
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Lorrie 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now that my ego has finally calmed down a bit, I try my best not to feed it any drama. I said try 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Living in the world we do, to keep trying has become our practice 💕 Sometimes I do need to retreat and let the drama disappear completely!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Everything is to do with our minds! Or, more specifically, to do with our consciousness. “Cogito ergo sum”!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Paul. Although you did hit my Descartes button! I’m not a huge fan of scientific rationalism and the suppression of our senses, emotions and intuition. 😉
LikeLike
Great stuff!! As we age I think we celebrate who we are, and accept even the parts of us we don’t like much. Thanks Val.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Kath! I’m back from a wonderful yoga teacher training which filled up the well of nourishment and goodness 💛
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds fantastic Val
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes it was 💛thanks Kath!
LikeLiked by 1 person