“Acceptance of the unacceptable is the greatest source of grace in this world.”

Eckhart Tolle

 Isn’t it funny how certain quotes and wisdom show up just when we need them the most? I recall, not so long ago when I had a hard time accepting how things were. I had unexpected news that meant my vision for the future was no longer possible. What I thought was “for sure” became “no way”.

There was shock and uncertainty;  concerns about others; a sense of loss and sadness; a letting go of a future dream; and lots of turbulent emotions.  So much was out of my control and I really struggled because I couldn’t accept it. There was no grace here folks!

finding grace in life's lows

So, what is grace … and how do we find it when life serves us a curve ball or pulls the rug from under us? When we find ourselves in life’s lows?

I appreciate Adyashanti’s approach taken from “Falling into Grace”.

“Grace is something that comes to us when we somehow find ourselves completely available, when we become open hearted and open minded, and are willing to entertain the possibility that we may not know what we think we know.

In this gap of not knowing, in the suspension of any conclusion, a whole other element of life and reality can rush in. This is what I call grace. It’s that moment of “ah-ha” – a moment of recognition when we realize something that previously we never could quite imagine.

… Somehow the  difficult situations in our lives have a way of opening our hearts and minds the most. Its the challenging moments that often offer the greatest opportunities for growth and the transformation of consciousness.”

Finding grace and opening up to accept what is, comes when we fully embrace everything that is alive in us in that moment. 

Some people choose to divert their mind into positive thinking to counteract the negative feelings. I’m not a believer of this, as all feelings and emotions are a part of who we are as human beings. I spent a big chunk of my life looking for the positive and denying the negative … while the deepest part of me was aching. Embracing all part of ourselves is the key to our personal growth and evolution as spiritual beings.

Here are the steps I have uncovered from a variety of spiritual teachers and psychotherapists:

✳ Name what is happening. Be as factual as you can.

✳ What stories are you telling myself about this unacceptable moment?

✳ What are you feeling in your body. What emotions are coming up? Embrace your whole body experience.

✳ Make space for whatever comes up.

✳ Notice how the mind jumps in with judgments and negative thoughts. Make space for these too.

✳ Embrace everything that is alive in you. Let yourself feel.

✳ Notice if there is a part of you that wants the pain to go away – to fix it rather than accepting it.

✳ Embrace it all and let it in. This is a part of you.

✳ Let yourself become a vulnerable feeling being.

✳ Be open and fully alive to the experience.

✳ Breathe into it and allow the life energy to flow through you.

✳ And in this place of spaciousness and letting go, notice how grace appears.

Compassionate acceptance of the unknown.

23 comments on “Acceptance of the Unacceptable

  1. The “naming” part is so very important. it gets us out of the fantasy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Recognizing and letting go of resistance is probably the first place I need to go, then following your list would be the next step. So much wisdom in one post! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Embrace it all and let it in. This is a part of you.” I love this line, Val. Actually, I love this entire post. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is wonderful Val. I love Adyashanti’s description of Grace and the insightful questions you have asked, to help us be present with what is. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love your tips at the end of your post Val. ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A wise and powerful post, Val. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. “In the end, only three things matter:
    how much you loved,
    how gently you lived,
    and how GRACEfully you let go
    of things not meant for you.”
    ~ Buddha

    Here’s to the power of Grace.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Carrie Cannady

    Really needed this one, Val. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Libido

    Thank you. I needed to hear these healing words. 💝

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Libido

    Reblogged this on Libido.


  11. Love it! There have been several friends that I’ve counseled and reminded them that it’s okay to be angry, to be hurt, and they should allow themselves to grieve, but not to get sucked in. Beautifully loving list you compiled!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. nicely put together Val. It’s a big space, that one. Takes a bit of getting used to!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I came across the RAIN technique which embodies the approach and actions you recommend. Tara Brach and others have championed it for just such situations.

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you ...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: