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Tips for the Holidays – Family and Presence

Enjoy this timely re-post πŸ™

Thanksgiving family
Credit: Pixel

Ram Dass, the spiritual teacher, once said: “If you think you are so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents.”

Eckhart Tolle adds to this wisdom:

“If you have been doing inner work for some time, a visit with your family is an excellent opportunity to discover how well you have done. You will easily identify the areas where you have made significant progress. You will also see where your weaknesses still lie….

The relationship with your parents is not only the primordial relationship hat sets the tone for all subsequent relationships, it is also a good test for your degree of Presence. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.

Many who are on a path of awakening choose to avoid contact with their parents or family members. This can be helpful, if the intentions are truly good and not a pattern of avoidance.

As you spend time with your family, don’t expect that you will be the perfect embodiment of all you have learned and integrated. You will be put to the test day after day, moment by moment. This is normal. You will gain the most from this experience if you don’t take it too seriously, if you don’t create impossible standards for your conduct of behavior, if you try so hard to be Present and Still that you behave like a robot, if you withdraw into a cocoon of self-protection, or if you blame your family members for every little imperfect act from the past that harmed you in some way.

Instead, and above all, choose to relax, reduce your expectations for what may or may not happen, expect little skirmishes, disagreements, moments of humility or failure, and the distance you may feel with your family as a whole, knowing that you are trying to move beyond the ego patterns that have been impediments to your soul and that they care less about ego and Presence and even Truth.

Love and accept them where they’re at. Have compassion for their pain. Be observant while being engaged as guilelessly as possible. Watch yourself and your reactions, out of curiosity, not judgment or blame, but for the benefit of learning how and where you’re really at in your spiritual evolution.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

To read the full article follow this link.

22 comments on “Tips for the Holidays – Family and Presence

  1. Truth! πŸ™πŸΌ

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good advice Val πŸ§‘πŸ™πŸ»

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Happy Thanksgiving Val! πŸπŸ™πŸ₯‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah dear lady, that is indeed our core ‘bits’ in so many shapes and sizes. I reached a place where after a lifetime of blaming both my mum and dad and finally seeing inside myself to understand that they were only being themselves with what they knew, and unresolved in ‘their’ lives. So after much thought I realized that it was time to tell my mum that I loved her (I hadn’t verbalized this in many, many years…plus I was a little worried with her health and being a grand young 84 at the time). So I did…and it hit hard and fast, I could feel the tears and the pain that the lack had truly caused for such a long, long time. Spirit blocked me from going further (health), and it was all she needed. And all I needed to touch as I had worked it through within myself up to that point, this was only her first ‘touch’. And so ever since I daily tell her I love her and as time has gone by you can see that it has been an incredible change within her, like she had blamed herself for where ‘we children’ were at. And occasionally Spirit gives me the ok to mention something so she can see where I was at and why I had been like I was. She is now 92, fit going up and down stairs every day and even doing 30 minutes each day on an exercise bike (I can’t even do that 🀣). So a healed heart can indeed extend our lives, remove those stresses that make life a misery and allow that inner smile to guide us happily. For that I thank you for the share Val, may that freedom live in your heart too kind lady πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

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    • Thank you dear Mark, for this sharing and your kind guidance to open our hearts to Soirit. I had the same revelation with my Mum who is about to turn 91 and does the stairs and drives like a rally driver still! We tell each other I love you every time we talk. Love is the answer to all our healing and true freedom πŸ₯°
      I’ll be seeing her this coming week when we go over to Scotland for a wedding and early Christmas celebrations!

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  5. Good advice, Val. We must accept our families as they are

    Liked by 1 person

  6. A wise re-share Val.. Wisdom within many of these quotes too.. Sending you thoughts as you enjoy your Thanksgiving extended weekend.. ❀

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  7. Timeless advice that I have found to be so true. Thank you, Val, for reminding us of this as we head into the holidays.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Truth be told. This is spot on. Staying in curious mode is when I enjoy extended family time the most. Thanks for sharing this, Val.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Excellent share, Val. I totally resonate with this, though most family members are now dead (especially those who triggered the most). “If you have been doing inner work for some time, a visit with your family is an excellent opportunity to discover how well you have done.” Snap. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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