I have been thinking about ego this week and how it shows up in our lives.

When the mind cannot accept a reality that goes against its own persona, it creates all sorts of stories to find a way to make it acceptable. We are seeing this unfold very publicly here in the US.

Someone who sees himself as a winner, was chastised as a loser growing up, and who now despises losers, cannot face being a loser himself.

A strong ego is driven by its need to be right. When it is threatened it will immediately shift blame, create stories and act out, so the ego is validated.

This is the ego’s last stand for survival.

A blow to our ego is one of the most hurtful things to experience. It cuts right into how we see ourselves and want to be seen. I recall times in my life when I expected  people to appreciate me, only to be disappointed when they didn’t. This is all about the ego and looking for validation.

For those of us on a spiritual path or working towards self realization, be especially careful where ego many hiding.

If you have difficulty saying “I don’t know” or “I was wrong” or “I am sorry” or “I forgive you” or “Please forgive me”, then your ego may still be very much in charge.

An other question to ask yourself as you talk to others, share on WordPress or whenever you are in relationship to someone:

“Am I doing this unconditionally or is there something I expect or hope for in return?

Sometimes we create stories that we are doing something for the good or others, but behind the altruism is an ego wanting to feel appreciated and validated.

Take some time to notice how your ego may be showing up in your life. Whenever you need to be right, its right there.

About Val Boyko

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 25 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and inspiration within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we all explore finding harmony and peace, in the highs and lows of life 💛

39 comments on “Ego’s Last Stand

  1. A true message, Ego ruins the relationship and also its prepares a path towards self destruction.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such a powerful and insightful analysis

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Meg Reed Rudge

    Great topic Val. I’ve battled my ego many times in the last year as my life changed, and I realized that I was measuring my self-worth on external factors such as job, wage, lifestyle. It’s been liberating to let go of those things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Meg for sharing. 💕it’s been a liberating year for me as I learn to let go of what doesn’t really matter and slow down to appreciate the simple things. I’m sure both our guys appreciate the shift 💝


  4. So true on so many levels. I’ve know people who do good things. If you know them well you find out there are expectations, effervescent gratitude or maybe publicity on their goodness, and it ruins the perception of them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I often ask those questions when a comment I am writing on a blog turns to something about me. Am I still focused on their post? There’s a fine line, but I hit the delete key a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Some non-apologists fear that by apologizing, they would assume full responsibility. That in itself is an ego out of check.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. All good points, Val. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A particularly timely suggestion, Val. I think we all have some opportunities for growth in this area since we all have egos working in our lives. ❤ Thanks always for sharing your wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you for this. I meet ego all the time. Today a little one felt hurt because someone didn’t respond in a matter I might have wished. Sometimes it’s possible to just sit with that part and surround it with love. Luckily, it’s not a big deal today. But I like your point about looking where our sharing is unconditional or where we have certain expectations.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. We all need to be reminded to check our egos from time to time. Unfortunately, as you mentioned, some behave like their ego is always in charge. Great post, Val. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’ve been thinking about ego a lot this year, too. (Covid certainly has challenged much in our lives.)
    I wonder what is ego’s purpose is in our life? And do animals have egos or are we the only ones? It must have some inherent purpose, but out of hand, it seems more of a hindrance to living well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Eliza 💕.. Great ponderings to explore. In humans we create a persona that we become attached to And need to validate. I’m not sure animals have this level of creativity .. but they do still need to survive.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Very true that it is a very hurtful and painful to have something blow up what we assume is our sense of self. So much drama exchanged because of this. It is important to ask at each choice and gesture – why am I choosing this, where is this coming from? Your post points out perfectly how it plays out on the larger world stage.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Your thoughts around what is happening in the US are deeply perceptive, Val. I think it is a profound lesson for us all as it plays itself out right before our eyes – ego at its most frightening and destructive essence. We are all somewhere on that continuum.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great post, Val. And quite timely!

    Once our ego-driven motivation (i.e., the desire to impress) falls by the wayside, we become more confident in the steps we’re taking.

    We no longer feel the need to reach a predetermined destination, so we’re not worried about falling short of the mark. We stop looking over our shoulders to see who’s watching. We no longer seek external validation that we’re doing “it” right ~ whatever “it” is.

    Fear of failure dissipates because it no longer matters whether others are impressed with us or not.

    Our locus of control shifts.
    We reclaim our power.
    We trust ourselves again.

    Aah . . . that’s better!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. An interesting topic Val, thank you for sharing. Ego is something I will now be reading up on 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Great article Val. On the flip side, Ego can be dominant when someone consistently takes the position of being a victim without justification in a way of enhancing self importance through being unique to others.


  17. RetsamsGhost

    Ego without mentioning Freud, the superego and the ID simple put is how our mind mediates life. An unhealthy or toxic “Ego” is a brain fed poorly or a soul corrupted.

    Liked by 1 person

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