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Our life experience and level of consciousness creates different planes of existence. This can be seen in how we perceive love and how it shows in our lives.

Conditional love relies on others to make us feel happy. This conditioning comes from our childhood, when we were small, helpless and dependent on others to take care of us. We loved them for making us feel safe and loved. When we love conditionally we expect others to fulfill our needs and support us in what we want.

When we seek approval from an other by trying to please them, this is conditional love. We may think “If I do this for you, then you will love me more. I will be rewarded with attention. If I buy you the best ring, the world will see how much I love you” This kind of conditional love remains for many of us as we go through life.

We need other people to make us feel special, important and loved. We expect our wives, husbands or children to make us happy by behaving the way our ego desires.
And so begins married life with expectations and demands from each other, based on individual desires and needs.

This kind of love keeps us separate and apart. It makes us feel better as long as we feel we are receiving it. However, as soon as we feel neglected or ignored, or when the love is withdrawn, we feel bereft and unloved, or worse, unlovable.

Conditional love prevents us from growing spiritually. It has nothing to do with real or unconditional love.

Unconditional love comes from a deeper sense of awareness and being. It is essential for us to grow as spiritual beings and awaken to our fullest potential.

When you truly love someone, you love the Light within them.

With true love you are happy for others and want them to express themselves in the world…. not follow a certain path that you believe is right.
You love yourself, warts and all, and have let go of inner criticism. You appreciate and have love for humankind…. without condition.

The sense of separateness and isolation diminishes, as you see the Love in others. The ego’s desires lose their power over your choices and decisions in life.  The fullness of Love grows and you feel connection to your inner Self, as well as others.

The process of enlightenment is the path to appreciate the Light within yourself and recognizing it in those you love,  then allowing it to expand and express itself to others and into the world.

Find the Light and Love within yourself in your Middle Ground.

Namaste

Unknown's avatar

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 30 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher, spiritual explorer and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and greater understanding within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we explore opening our hearts and finding harmony and peace in the highs and lows of life 💛

35 comments on “The Path of Real Love

  1. Jessica Levine's avatar

    Beautifully written 💕

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ann Koplow's avatar

    I unconditionally love this post, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. insearchofitall's avatar

    Best explanation I’ve read so far. Thanks for the clarity on a tough subject.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. IreneDesign2011's avatar

    Really a great explanation Val. It isn’t an easy topic to get into 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. CoachKanika findingabetteryou's avatar

    Beautifully penned expressions of love…thanks for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    “Without condition.” That’s critical, isn’t it? Lovely piece, Va.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Karen Lang's avatar

    Sage advice Val 💚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Carrie Cannady's avatar

    Very well said, dear Val. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  9. nrhatch's avatar

    Why that would mean that I would have to love Trump and be happy for him and want him to express his unique self to the world . . . not follow the path that I believe is right and good and decent.

    Hmm . . . nope.
    I am NOT there yet, Val. 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      It crosses my mind a lot Nancy! Thank you for sharing 💕

      Like

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Hey Nancy, I’ve been thinking about Trump and its clear that everything about him is conditional. He doesn’t love himself and is trying to prove to the world that he is worthy. His actions are manipulative and ego-serving. He is the antithesis of all that I believe in a world of unconditional love.
      My ego sees him as deplorable and despicable. My heart feels his hurt and suffering.
      I ask myself, do I want to be ego centered or heart centered.
      Such is the inner conflict of being human on the path. 🙏

      Like

  10. Sue Dreamwalker's avatar

    Val this was so beautifully expressed here.. So many of us do not see the conditional love aspect because its taught as you say from childhood..
    Learning to love one’s self to me has been life changing.. And to see just what UNCONDITIONAL means.. 🙂
    Love and Blessings Val, you words and post teach us so much ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Thank you dear Sue. I agree, loving ourselves, warts and all, is the first step to realization.
      I’m thinking of Nancy’s response about Trump, and I see clearly that he doesn’t love himself and is trying to prove to himself and others that he is worthy. Everything is conditional and his actions manipulate and cause harm to others.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. pirootb's avatar

    Liked your post. A clearly and beautifully written piece with deep insights.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Michele Anderson's avatar

    True words Val 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. lorriebowden's avatar

    Beautiful, Val. Thanks for sharing from your heart. I hope that it is cooler up there for you 😉 And to think those are the temps and humidity I really like!
    Sweet blessings friend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  14. happiness102blog's avatar
    Happiness102blog

    This is an excellent post. You talked about how love has to come from within. That’s the best part. From Happiness102blog

    Like

  15. quincyabrams's avatar
    quincyabrams

    What an informative piece! i learned so much, Val. Check out my blog

    Like

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