When I was young I wanted to be grown up and have opinions. I believed that adults with opinions knew what life was about. And that’s what I wanted. I wanted to know things and feel secure in that knowledge, rather than being unsure and insecure.

And so I became opinionated.

I took on a lot of the same values and judgments of my family. But I also went against some of their ways of seeing other people and the world.

And so I formed my own opinions.

Then one day I asked myself  Do my opinions really matter? Do they make a difference or help others … or is it just a facade?  What was behind my opinions?

This is what I discovered.

We strive for knowing in an unknown world. Underneath we still feel insecure and unsure, but we believe that we are right about things. That makes us feel better.

As long as we are attached to our opinions, and how the world should be, our minds remain closed. We become prisoners of our opinions.

Our preferences prevent us from being open to the moment, and can take us off on a wild goose chase to feel more knowledgable, in control … and opinionated.

Opinions about how things should be, keep us hooked on specific outcomes. It takes us out of the present and prevents us from seeing alternatives and exploring new ways.

We judge others as ‘wrong’, when they don’t share our opinions. This increases separation rather than connection and understanding. We become more self centered.

Opinions are an expression of an evolved ego, not an evolved human being.

Of course, that’s just my opinion.

 

 

 

Unknown's avatar

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 30 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher, spiritual explorer and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and greater understanding within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we explore opening our hearts and finding harmony and peace in the highs and lows of life 💛

41 comments on “Opinions about Opinions

  1. madmanifesto's avatar
    shadowedmuses

    Love the last line ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Louise Gallagher's avatar

    I like your opinion! 🙂

    When my youngest was about 5 she developed severe back issues. They gave us a diagnosis. It was a convenient “label”. That label was like the opinions of which you write. They gave me something to blame, to target, to learn about and to name what I couldn’t name — but the label did not change anything. It didn’t even make me feel all that better!

    The answer for my daughter, btw — was yoga and dance. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. IreneDesign2011's avatar

    I find it difficult to keep opinions and to stay open-minded in same time, Val ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Craig Kimbrough Positive Guru's avatar

    I agree. I always say we cannot live in the should be or supposed to be world, or get caught up on it. Peace and Blessings

    Liked by 2 people

  5. insearchofitall's avatar

    Enjoyed how you expressed this. I’ve always said that everyone has an opinion and no one wants yours. Opinion is a thought form that changes as we learn and grow. It seems to be a form of judgement about people and things. I’m not nearly as opinionated now that I’m older. I just tend to watch and observe. Kind of like sitting in the audience of a circus. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. D. Wallace Peach's avatar

    I love the last line. In my opinion, this is a wonderful reminder of the danger of opinions. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Thank you Diana. I think the danger is when we get attached to them and believe they are right. Practicing letting go of my preferences and seemingly benign opinions is a big one for me. 💛🙏💛

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Jill Weatherholt's avatar

    I learned long ago not to give my opinion unless asked to do so. Great post, Val! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Thanks Jill. 💛 There seems to be a fine line between having opinions, sharing them and also having preferences. Preferences are the more subtle version of opinions. We may not share them with others, or try to impose them on others, yet we still impose on ourselves. Have a great week 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  8. nrhatch's avatar

    This brings to mind a new favorite quote:

    Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing. ~ Tilopa

    Liked by 2 people

  9. lifebloomingrose's avatar

    “Opinions are an expression of an evolved ego, not an evolved human being.” Namaste’!!!
    Such immense energy of GREAT!!! Love and Blessings Val

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Jet Eliot's avatar

    It’s a tricky balance which you so artfully expressed here with your whimsical last line. Great post, Val…and my warmest wishes for a great week ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hariod Brawn's avatar

    Can you circulate this to all politicians, Val? Ta. H ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      Will do Hariod. If only I was an active tweeter 😉
      One part of the world evolves while the other gets more entrenched in the old ways. Looks like Mother Nature is having her say though. It’s going to be quite the ride ahead. 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Shiva Malekopmath's avatar

    Val these opinions are my opinions.
    I vote to all these opinions..
    Shiva

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Dan Antion's avatar

    I think opinions are fine, as long as we don’t confuse them with facts. Trained as a scientist (although never working in that capacity) I look at opinions as hypotheses, which means they should be subject to constant testing, and we should learn from the fact if/when they are proven to be incorrect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Val T Boyko's avatar

      True Dan …. yet new facts are becoming known every day. Old data becomes obsolete. When we cling to what is researched and proven we may miss out on what is happening in front of us. Thank you 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Infinite Living's avatar

    True and powerful! I agree with you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. roughwighting's avatar

    I like your thoughts on opinion. Being bull- headed about an opinion closes us off from being open-hearted.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Carrie Cannady's avatar

    A prickly subject to wrestle with…and you expressed it so clearly and eloquently. Opinions keep us out of our hearts as well. We tend to not listen…we are anxiously awaiting a break so we can express ours! Nicely done, dear Val. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Bela Johnson's avatar

    Excellent reflections. At least we took those opinions and pulled them apart to examine them. There is work yet to be done, but I’m glad it began all those years ago 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  18. mariewilliams53's avatar

    My opinions are like the weather – changeable! 🙂 But now I’ve read your very eloquent post Val, I don’t feel so bad. I agree with so much of what you say – opinions are just that: opinions, and not something written in stone.

    Liked by 1 person

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  20. uncharteredmusing's avatar

    Being a prisoner to your opinions is what keep us from moving forward. However if we let ourself wander into the perspective that others have or may be open ourself to the wide horizon of opinions we can learn so much.
    Differences in opinions is an opportunity to learning.
    I m opiniated too and love to engage into the minds of other people for better perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

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