It can sometimes be tricky recognizing our own judge. When we see a situation our mind tends to leap ahead to interpret and evaluate what’s going on. Its part of being human. Our brain automatically sifts and filters information and comes to a quick conclusion. This is helpful when we are facing danger, but in every day life it can cause miscommunication and conflict.
One way to recognize our judge (or someone else’s) is to look out for exaggeration or blanket statements. Can you see the difference between these statements?
“He is always late” rather than “This is the second time I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes.”
“One day you’ll fall and hurt yourself” rather than “I’m fearful that you will fall and hurt yourself.”
“She never does what I want” rather than “On the last 3 occasions I have done what she wanted to do.”
“You have no clue about what matters” rather than “I have a different point of view about what matters”
“You work too much” rather than “You’ve been working 12 hour days all week. I’m worried its too much.”
It happens more times than we may even be aware of!
Take a moment and consider … are you noticing or are you judging?
When we are able to experience what is happening – without judgment or getting triggered, we stay present.
When we simply observe, we let go of judgment and are open, rather than closed.
When we are open we can learn and grow.
The next time you find yourself in an interaction look out for your judging self. When you notice it, become the observer and ask yourself, what can I learn from this?