Find Your Middle Ground

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There Are No Perfect Human Beings and We Can All Be Assholes

Enjoy this re-post inspired by Abraham Maslow and fellow blogger Ann Koplow’s Fringe appearance back in 2019!

“There are no perfect human beings! Persons can be found who are good, very good indeed, in fact, great.

There do in fact exist creators, seers, sages, saints, shakers, and movers…even if they are uncommon and do not come by the dozen.

And yet these very same people can at times be boring, irritating, petulant, selfish, angry, or depressed.

To avoid disillusionment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about it.”

Abraham Maslow from Motivation and Personality

This reminds me of fellow blogger Ann Koplow’s Asshole song from her debut Fringe show in Edinburgh.

We can all be assholes!

So what?…

So expect others to have their good days and bad days.

So give yourself a break when you are not feeling on top of the world all the time, or if you know you have been an asshole.

So let go of the illusion – the beliefs about how you “should” be, and how others “should” be.

Accept that life is a series of highs and lows.

And most importantly – be kind towards the parts of you that are in the dark.

Hugs to all parts of you.

The asshole in me greets the asshole in you.

 

Val T Boyko
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60 responses to “There Are No Perfect Human Beings and We Can All Be Assholes”

  1. IreneDesign2011 Avatar
    IreneDesign2011

    People are allowed to call me, what they want Val, I have decided not to take it personal 😀
    Yes we can all behave less good, but it is possible to still be kind, no matter what happens. It is up to us, how to react.
    Great that you brought Ann in here, here songs are very good.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Irene for being here. It’s a lesson you have learned and an important one to share with others 💕

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
      1. IreneDesign2011 Avatar
        IreneDesign2011

        Thank you Val and yes, I learned this the hard way. It was a way of surviving mentally ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          We find way to survive … and then thrive 💕

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. IreneDesign2011 Avatar
            IreneDesign2011

            ❤

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  2. beth Avatar
    beth

    I love this

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Beth! Me too 😍

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  3. Mark Lanesbury Avatar
    Mark Lanesbury

    Why thank you dear lady, an acceptance of me is gratefully received, as is the love in doing so 😀
    Returned in kind Val, may our ‘bits’ be just that, understood, accepted, and released for the love that they give ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I’m with you in all of us embracing our bits! Thank you Mark 💛

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  4. Jill Weatherholt Avatar
    Jill Weatherholt

    LOL! That’s my name…sometimes. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Glad you enjoyed this along with me Jill 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. Ann Koplow Avatar
    Ann Koplow

    I love you, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      💞

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  6. Chatter Master Avatar
    Chatter Master

    I loved this sooooooooo much 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      So glad it resonated Colleen 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Kate Crimmins Avatar
    Kate Crimmins

    So true! There are times I wonder how something came out of my mouth!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      … are you sure it was your mouth Kate….. 🤭

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Kate Crimmins Avatar
        Kate Crimmins

        🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  8. Live & Learn Avatar
    Live & Learn

    Truth!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      It is 💕

      Like

      Reply
  9. Karen Lang Avatar
    Karen Lang

    Being both broken and whole at the same time is being Human! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Yep! Yin and yang. Heart and asshole. Thanks Karen 😉

      Like

      Reply
  10. nrhatch Avatar
    nrhatch

    Perfect post!
    It rings true . . . through and through.

    Especially enjoyed your sign-off. Nam-ass-te! 😆

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Giggling 🤭

      Like

      Reply
      1. nrhatch Avatar
        nrhatch

        Ditto what I said back when.

        Just returned home from a mandatory evacuation due to Idalia. That makes 3 mandatory evacs for us . . . Irma, Ian, Idalia.

        Which goes to show that “I” can be a real asshole!

        Like

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          LOL 😂

          Like

          Reply
  11. Louise Gallagher Avatar
    Louise Gallagher

    When my husband asked me to marry him it was in front of about 40 friends gathered at our home to celebrate my birthday. I called him an asshole — in front of our friends — and told him I’d have to think about it. 🙂

    It was a great lesson in grace for me. Even under fire, I need to breathe and step into grace. The bigger lesson came when I realized I had some work to do on Love and Grace — and spent a year writing him a love poem a day. It was amazing!

    So yup… we can all be assholes and… we can all learn from our assholeness! 🙂

    Love this Val. Thanks.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      What a great awareness and loving response. Thanks for sharing Louise 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Jim Borden Avatar
    Jim Borden

    I’ve certainly been a jerk more than once in my life; my only hope is that as I get older, such behavior becomes less frequent.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      As awareness grows …. I would hope so too Jim ❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Writer Lori Avatar
    Writer Lori

    I know that some days I wake up with a ‘hair across my ass’ and I’ve learned to accept it. I try to warn people and sequester myself as much as possible until the storm passes, but you’re right, Val, we all have our days…. Great post.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Lori! I try to keep a low profile too. Awareness is everything 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. Carrie Cannady Avatar
    Carrie Cannady

    A great post, Val! Even when our intentions are good, our words and actions don’t always land with those good intentions. I’m also reminded of this, “The only opinion that matters is the one you have about yourself.” Or stated a bit differently, “What someone thinks about you is none of your business.” Ann’s songs are good, too! Thank you for this!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Glad you enjoyed this foray into assholing Carrie 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  15. Hariod Brawn Avatar
    Hariod Brawn

    Don’t want to show your arsehole? Keep your drawers on Val! 😉 H ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Now that’s the Truth, H ❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. Writing to Freedom Avatar
    Writing to Freedom

    Thanks for the laughs and truth bombs Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Glad you enjoyed this Brad 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  17. plantmomwannabe Avatar
    plantmomwannabe

    Amen. I think as long as we can admit when we’ve been less than kind, and take ownership giving apologies when needed, at least we are an asshole with a heart.. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Smiling …. yes we are. Thank you 💛

      Like

      Reply
  18. Ann Coleman Avatar
    Ann Coleman

    Yes, we can all be jerks at time, and we need to forgive others for their flaws if we want them to forgive us for ours.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Wise words Ann. Thank you ❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. ladyfi Avatar
    ladyfi

    So true! I love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Fiona 💛

      Like

      Reply
  20. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar
    Sue Dreamwalker

    Love this Val, I was taught a while ago that while we often see the faults in others they usually are pointing us to the faults in ourselves..
    None of us are perfect.. I now am often heard saying to myself, So that taught you a valued lesson, and you will do it better next time, now move on, and get on with your day.. At once upon a time I would carry it around like baggage… But learning to LOVE yourself Warts and All, Means we shed the self guilt, forgive and give ourselfs that HUG… you spoke of..
    Took me a while to do that.. But Hey!.. I am evolving!! 🙂 chuckle.. ❤ 🙂 🤣😀😘
    Bless you Val ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Sue for sharing being vulnerable with humor. It does help to bring lightness to things that used to drag us down so much. Happy to have you along with me 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar
        Sue Dreamwalker

        🤗😁😘

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  21. Debra Avatar
    Debra

    I love this, Val! I love Ann, too, for her songs and her fearlessness in front of a crowd. Wow! I’m very good at identifying ass-holes. LOL! Not as good about admitting I can be one, but I’ll try to work on that! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Smiling …. thanks Debra ❣️

      Like

      Reply
  22. insearchofitall Avatar
    insearchofitall

    Ah, Yes. We all have the capacity to be all kinds of ways given conditions. I don’t have any illusions about a perfect me. I get to choose not to follow through on the thought of being an asshole or not. This whole thing was a fun way to remind us that we have a shadow side. Thanks for the humor.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks for getting it Marlene 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  23. Rupali (In my Pursuit to Work Satisfaction...) Avatar
    Rupali (In my Pursuit to Work Satisfaction…)

    How we should be is an illusion and how we are is a reality. Acceptance of reality is helpful for peace of mind rather than chasing the illusional self. Thank you for reminding!

    Like

    Reply
  24. Betty Hayes Albright Avatar
    Betty Hayes Albright

    Made me smile – so very true! 🙂❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Betty 😁

      Like

      Reply
  25. sicetnon3 Avatar
    sicetnon3

    I have h sed it said that “Perfection embraces imperfection as it embraces itself.”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  26. Eliza Waters Avatar
    Eliza Waters

    Ha, love this, Val. Perfect timing, too. ;D

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Me too😂 Thanks Eliza 💐

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  27. Beware The “I” Of The Storm! | Spirit Lights The Way Avatar
    Beware The “I” Of The Storm! | Spirit Lights The Way

    […] Why?  Why do so many bad hurricanes start with I? […]

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  28. Jet Eliot Avatar
    Jet Eliot

    What a fun and freeing perspective, Val — many thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Jet ❣️

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

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