Find Your Middle Ground

Watch your Language

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toshogu monkeys

I recall being reminded as I was growing up, and then again as an employee, how important it was to watch my language and to think before speaking.

However, in social media, and at the highest level of US government, this doesn’t seem to apply. Not thinking before speaking and readily making judgmental comments about people behind their backs, appears to be acceptable.

It makes me wonder “Are we becoming a society where gossip is okay?” and “Are you being drawn into this too?”

Let us all remind ourselves to THINK before we speak, post or email. Whether we are making a presentation, interacting with colleagues or chatting with friends, its important to remember this acronym.

T – Is this true?
H – Is this helpful?
I – Is this inspiring?
N – Is this necessary?
K – Is this kind?

Let us all practice mindful communication and bring respectful awareness to our interactions with others.

After all, isn’t this what we all want for ourselves?

Namaste

64 responses to “Watch your Language”

  1. lorriebowden Avatar
    lorriebowden

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    💖

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      There is a fine line/boundary/standard here. Its always good to remind us, so we can re-set and bring more awareness to our own language.
      Hugs to you 💕

      Like

      Reply
      1. lorriebowden Avatar
        lorriebowden

        Thanks, Call! And a giant hug right back to you 🙂 Hope your yoga class is super tomorrow…I recently started to practice again…it feels so great!!! 💜

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          Good for you Lorrie! xo

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  2. Tiny Avatar
    Tiny

    This is a great reminder for extroverts like me! Thanks Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      For we talkers everywhere Helen! Thank you 💛

      Like

      Reply
  3. The Coastal Crone Avatar
    The Coastal Crone

    Good reminders! Sadly, it seems that anything goes but words do matter and should certainly come carefully from those in government. Love the monkeys! I have a small wooden set near my books as a reminder but they are Siamese cats. Peace and joy to you!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      So glad you enjoyed this reminder CC 💛

      Like

      Reply
  4. Jennifer Kelland Perry Avatar
    Jennifer Kelland Perry

    I just received an email from someone who could have benefitted from this! 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I hear you Jennifer! Thank you for being here and watching your language 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  5. D. Wallace Peach Avatar
    D. Wallace Peach

    That is great, Val. A vital reminder in this age of political turmoil and nastiness. Thanks for the “think.”

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I’m glad it made you pause Diana. Thank you 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. D. Wallace Peach Avatar
        D. Wallace Peach

        Sometimes the truth is not kind, but I suppose we can be kind in the delivery. It’s a subtle but important shift.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          Thank you Diana! I would affirm this 💛 The truth is the truth. No matter if it causes upset or pleasure, it is in the delivery that we can always be kind.

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
  6. insearchofitall Avatar
    insearchofitall

    Well said and I so agree.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Marlene 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  7. Bela Johnson Avatar
    Bela Johnson

    Heartily agree, Val. People tend to say or post most anything they like, dislike or agree with without considering its veracity. I think this isn’t helped much by a deceptive media (though we personally don’t participate). Many become inured to the sensationalism of facts ‘just because’ someone they know or admire passed on something that struck a chord. Example: A few months back I posted something I thought helpful and inspiring to Facebook – and a friend sent me a snopes.com link to prove it was a hoax/misinformation. I gladly accepted his correction, and from then on have been careful before reposting anything. I think we need as many reminders as possible in these confusing times.

    The THINK acronym is almost sequential, as well: If it’s true, one might assume it to be helpful, inspiring and necessary to some. Kindness is also a consideration, though subjective and some might unintentionally seem unkind when that is not their intention and vice-versa. On the other hand, if it’s Not true, than it definitely – no matter how good it seems – is not helpful (though it may prove inspiring or seem kind. And that’s what this wordsmith has to say about That! 😉

    Cheers, Val. Great post! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I’m so happy it got you thinking Bela 💛I overheard a conversation the other day, and was so surprised that people felt it was okay to put others down in order to find something in common to laugh at.
      Thankfully I am not as young as aI used to be 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  8. Jill Weatherholt Avatar
    Jill Weatherholt

    Great reminder, Val. If you don’t have anything nice to say…ZIP IT! xo

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Spot on Jill 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Vicki Avatar
    Vicki

    Great reminder Val.
    I really worry about the direction social media is heading and do not like it one bit. Even the lack of punctuation in a sentence online can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. We really do need to be more careful in our social media interaction. And a certain someone in power in the U.S. needs to do the same.
    I’ve been on the receiving end of gossip, innuendo and the like in my last job and it was not a good or pleasant way to live. I quit the job and the bullying, nastiness and associated stress and am now much happier. (although I did quit the job due to ‘chronic ill health’ primarily).

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Vicki 💛 Stress and ill health go hand in hand. It undermines everything and our ability to live well. How we interact with others is so important.

      Like

      Reply
  10. ivonprefontaine Avatar
    ivonprefontaine

    Reblogged this on Teacher as Transformer and commented:
    I finished the retreat today. Teaching is inspiring others to want to learn. It does not replace the responsiblity for learning. Essential to inspiring is communicating with students, listening to them in caring and sensitive ways. At its greatest, teaching reminds me of the Buddhist proverb: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      How lovely to have had time on retreat Ivon. I agree, as teachers we must inspire and also guide in the learning.
      Thank you for the re-blog.
      Happy transitioning into the real world once more 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. ivonprefontaine Avatar
        ivonprefontaine

        You are welcome Val and thank you.

        Like

        Reply
  11. Paul Handover Avatar
    Paul Handover

    Spot on!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you for your –
      Specific
      Pertinent
      On point
      Timely
      – comment Paul 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Paul Handover Avatar
        Paul Handover

        Love that! Actually, you were much in my mind when I published yesterday’s post: Who Do You Think You Are?

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          Thanks Paul. Neuroscience has really altered the landscape when it comes to bringing about personal change and giving us new insights into who we are. 💕

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. Paul Handover Avatar
            Paul Handover

            I gathered that from the article. All the best to you and the family, Val.

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  12. dianasschwenk Avatar
    dianasschwenk

    Yes! ❤
    Diana xo

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Diana 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  13. Dan Antion Avatar
    Dan Antion

    Very good advice

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Dan 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  14. Carrie Cannady Avatar
    Carrie Cannady

    Great reminder, Val. If more people knew that the words we choose to use create our reality, different words might be chosen. When they are not, the projections tell us all we need to know about them.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Wise words Carrie. Thank you for creating a kind and insightful reality 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Carrie Cannady Avatar
        Carrie Cannady

        💞

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  15. Ann Koplow Avatar
    Ann Koplow

    I love to watch your language, Val.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Its mutual Ann. Thank you!!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  16. emilievardaman Avatar
    emilievardaman

    That concept is as important today as ever. Somehow we need to get back to decency.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you Emilie for brining more awareness to this 💛

      Like

      Reply
  17. nrhatch Avatar
    nrhatch

    What are you? Some kind of “total nut job”?
    Or are you just trying to be “politically correct”?

    These days, with the current administration at the helm, “politically correct” is more of an oxymoron than ever! 😀

    Here’s to THINKing before SPEAKing! Good post.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Nancy for your …
      Spirited
      Precise
      Engaging
      Accurate
      Kind
      …comment 💕

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  18. Kate Crimmins Avatar
    Kate Crimmins

    This couldn’t be more appropriate. It appears we are becoming a society where we can say anything and justify it by saying “that’s what I think and I’m allowed to have my own beliefs.” All good but if they are hurtful, zip it (borrowing from Jill).

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Egotism is not conducive to the truth or harmony that’s for sure. Thank you Kate 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  19. allthingsrightblog Avatar
    allthingsrightblog

    That’s so true. Exactly as I feel. Thanks for the much needed advice😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      I’m glad your enjoyed this 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  20. Helen Avatar
    Helen

    “If you can’t say something nice, Don’t say nothing at all,” And I learned that from Thumper.: Thanks Val, been off the radar again but always good to come back to you. x

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thanks Helen for being here … and sharing Thumper’s wisdom 💕

      Like

      Reply
  21. misifusa Avatar
    misifusa

    Beautiful! I love it! THINK!!! ♥

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Smiling … thank you Yvonne 💕

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  22. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar
    Sue Dreamwalker

    Love your THINK related reminders Val.. I wish more could Think before speaking or tweeting! their chirps.. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Don’t get me going on Tweeting 😫 Thank you Sue for your thoughtful response 💛

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar
        Sue Dreamwalker

        Chirpy chirpy cheap Cheap… 🙂 So glad i am only on WP .. But our mainstream media news is chirping away lol.. So tired of the whole darn thing.. of who says what, to whom and why.. As we undergo a barrage here of onslaughts of mud slinging from our political parties as they all promise everything to gain our votes for the election on Thursday.. Even my hubby turned off the News the other day.. A first for him.. So there is Hope! LoL.. Yet.. 🙂 haha..
        Enjoy your day Val.. xxx Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          This is such a good time to use the power button!

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. Sue Dreamwalker Avatar
            Sue Dreamwalker

            Pressing away dear Val.. 🙂 💜

            Liked by 1 person

            Reply
  23. Grace Balogun Avatar
    Grace Balogun

    Namaste. I totally relate to this post. It is like people no longer take responsibility for what they speak, the words they use. Which is very important. That is why the world and the children it is giving birth to are forgetting what empathy is. They no longer care about what their words can do to other people. It’s sad. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Be the guide an inspiration Grace 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Grace Avatar
        Grace

        Yes. I will definitely try my best. ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
  24. Tiasa Tilak Avatar
    Tiasa Tilak

    Ma’am have you ever visited India ??!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. Val Boyko Avatar
      Val Boyko

      Thank you for asking. I have not visited India, but my yoga tradition has its roots in the Yoga Life Institute in Mombai. I value all yoga traditions,Hindu religion as well as yoga philosophy and Advaita belefs that prevail there.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Tiasa Tilak Avatar
        Tiasa Tilak

        Yes that’s why I asked. Yoga has its roots in India and so does the sanskrit word “Namaste”. It’s an Indian greeting. I particularly got intrigued because you posted this picture of the three monkeys. This culture of “don’t see bad, don’t hear bad, and don’t say bad” also originated in India. I’m glad you’re appreciative of it. India is a great country…. With a lot to offer. But somehow the biased western media always portrays her as a poor undeveloped country. Always managing to hide India’s achievements in science, health, education, media, entertainment industry and even spiritual knowledge. Do pay a visit. India is worth it. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply
        1. Val Boyko Avatar
          Val Boyko

          Thank you Tiasa. I am a true admirer 💛

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply
          1. Tiasa Tilak Avatar
            Tiasa Tilak

            As an Indian, it’s my pleasure ma’am 😊

            Liked by 2 people

            Reply

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● About Me

My name is Val Boyko, a dual citizen living near Philadelphia, originally from Scotland.

This blog came to life one morning in 2013.  I woke up with these words in my mind:  “Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. And find contentment in your Middle Ground.”

Find Your Middle Ground blog started to explore, reflect, ask deep questions, share insights about awakening, and connect with wonderful people like yourself. Thank you for being here and being such an inspiration.

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