mother daughter conflict

Are you being hyper critical right now in relationship to one or more people?
Take a moment and consider… Are others consistently irritating you and annoying you?

When we become hyper critical it is usually because we are repressing a feeling … which is usually of resentment towards someone.

Are you resenting someone’s behavior towards you?

Has his or her behavior triggered you and touched a tender place where you don’t feel appreciated or loved? Perhaps there is an unmet need for respect and appreciation.

As human beings we all have basic needs: to feel safe, express ourselves, belong, feel loved and appreciated.

Perhaps you are playing the “martyr” game, a tactic of pretending that something is all right with you while subtly signaling that it is not, and possibly trying to make others feel guilty for their behavior.

Most of us are unconscious of this … its not something our ego is likely to acknowledge.

Taking time right now to acknowledge that this may be the case, will open up compassion for yourself.

See beyond the resentment and anger to the hurt and longing to be seen and loved for who you are. You are worthy of love and respect.

It takes courage to say what you really mean and put your feelings on the line.
Yet this is the only way to heal and move past the struggle.

 

22 responses to “* Hyper critical”

  1. It takes courage to expose you self!

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    1. It does FC … and that is the gateway to growth and healing. 💛

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  2. This is uncanny – I just ‘had words’ with my spouse over lunch over something that we’ve gone over many times before. When I apologized for my outburst a few minutes later, I told him I realized it was because I didn’t feel ‘heard’ or ‘acknowledged.’ A basic need is to be seen and heard, not ignored. “I am here and I am important!” 😀

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    1. Beautifully shared Eliza. Thank you for sharing this serendipitous moment 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Excellent posting. We have all experienced this. it is so important to “own” what is happening within us.

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    1. Thank you Kim for your kind words and insight. 😊

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  4. It does take courage Val. Good reminder. 🙂

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    1. A compassionate outlook and courage are powerful for us all. Thank you Karen 💛

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  5. I really appreciate this insightful post, Val — thanks for the gentle reminder. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jet for our kind words. really appreciate it. 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Have had my share of those moments. It’s a pity that I usually don’t recognize it right away when it happens again…learning is a lifelong effort.

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    1. A lifelong practice indeed Tiny. Thanks for sharing ☺️

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  7. I am happy to report that all is well here, Val ~> All is calm. All is bright.

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    1. Sounds like a carol and a sweet please to be. xo

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  8. I like how you remind us about expressing ourselves more carefully, Val. Instead of repressing dormant feelings of resentment, bring out into the open. 🙂

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    1. Thank you Reo! It was a lesson I learned late in life, but one that keeps me centered and happy today 💛

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  9. This is definitely a stop and consider post….. And how odd that it takes courage to speak our truths…but that IS the truth.

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    1. Thank you Colleen … glad you stopped here and are considering! It IS hard to speak our truth and be vulnerable like this. xo

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  10. Oh, that is a good one Val! As I was reading it, it was like all of the sudden understanding dawned and I could see with a new light! So true! I totally compartmentalize things until I am ready to deal with them, and there have been times that a repressed emotion/issue has resulted in me being hyper critical, but just the other day my boss was behaving like that and I remember the moment I figured out why… but this post, brilliant!!!

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    1. Thanks Kate! I’m glad it brought a new perspective and understanding. Hugs, Val

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  11. Hi Val…
    your posts is great and it helped me understand a current situation as a relationship I have had in which the other person kind began to withdraw…
    your advice is very useful to me… thank you.
    Sending love and best wishes. Aquileana – 🎇☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Aquileana, so glad it helped. Thank you for your kind words xo

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