middle ground

* Ego Schmego

When we are on a spiritual path, the idea of ego becomes something to overcome and get past. It feels contrary to how we want to be in the world.
Its the part of ourselves that we would rather hide or deny rather than show. So we battle with it or suppress it…. or disguise it.

ego in disguise

Here are some examples from my own experience:
~ We see ourselves as knowledgeable and evolved…. so we don’t want to be seen as not knowing or caught up in our self image.
~ We see ourselves as spiritual beings who give a lot to others…. so we don’t want to appear selfish and put ourselves first.
~ We see ourselves as good people in a world of danger and mistrust… because the world is a place where things are out of our control and other people might take advantage of us.

Does this sound familiar to you? Can you see the ego at play here – in our thoughts about how we don’t want to be. That’s our ego in disguise.

We are creating a “better” ego to overcome the inferior one from the past.

The irony is that in order for us to evolve past our ego we need to get intimate with it and acknowledge it. If we want to truly evolve into a new level of consciousness then this is the place that must be embraced.

human butterfly

When we look at the aspects of our ego, or our shadow side and we feel resistance and discomfort … its a good thing. Of course, this very human part of us doesn’t want to be looked at. Yet, when we accept is as a part of our experience, we begin to see it more clearly. We  feel it’s impact and see the power it has had over us for most of our lives … even now.

Being awake and conscious  and witnessing how our ego comes and goes is something that the most enlightened people are able to do.  It brings a smile and possibly a shrug. There is curiosity, compassion and detachment.two sided coin

We cannot deny it just as the left needs the right, one side of a coin has to have the other, and a one side of paper cannot be separated from the other.

When we accept it and see through it, it loses its power. We must embrace it in order for it to be no longer important as a driver in our lives.

If we continue to beat it up it will find ways to become more powerful in our thinking and stories about ourselves.

So be kind to it, so you can let it go and transcend into the light.

And yes … you can have fun with it along the way 😉





About Val Boyko

Val Boyko is originally from Scotland and came to the United States over 25 years ago. At "Find Your Middle Ground" Val brings together her experience as a life coach, yoga teacher and mentor, to inspire awakening to the light and inspiration within us all. This blog is a place of exploration and discovery as we all explore finding harmony and peace, in the highs and lows of life 💛

38 comments on “* Ego Schmego

  1. This is an outstanding post Val. Immense wisdom here.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Walking My Path: Mindful Wanderings in Nature

    Great post, Val. Yes, we need to be kind to them and love their wounds.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Found this insightful and true~

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah yes. Have some fun along the way

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So true that in resisting we give it more power – “If we continue to beat it up it will find ways to become more powerful in our thinking and stories about ourselves.”
    Good stuff, Val.x
    “Resistance is futile” 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I think the difficulty with ego on the spiritual path is that we can easily imbue it with an ontological status it simply does not posses; in other words we make an objective entity of it, something that mysteriously instantiates within us as if a permanent inhabitant. From this erroneous and fetishistic conception, the problems you so eloquently identify flow, progressively rendering it more difficult to see through to the imagined entity’s actual nature. In the ultimate egoical delusion, we think that we have become enlightened, and prior to that we equally delusorily believed that we were unenlightened. H ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Love your post, Val. I’ve recently delved into Eckhart Tolle’s ideas on understanding and “witnessing the ego at work…” Through practicing in my quieter moments when my ego is a bit tamer, it makes it somewhat more possible in a social or conflict situation. It’s a journey to being in the “driver’s seat” of our lives and well worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I give names to my two most prominent faces of ego. It helps identify them when they arise, so I can ‘call them out’ and hear what they have to say so they can go back to their quiescent state and leave me in peace! 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Oh, I so agree with the fact that we tend to create a better ego…and there’s so much wisdom in not fighting it or giving it too much attention. And having fun with it…yes, it’s possible for it to make us laugh 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  10. When we stop looking to others to define and delineate our relevance . . . we are on our way. Instead of “playing to an audience,” we learn to trust ourselves to steer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Nancy! Sometimes I think we play to the idea of ourselves rather than an audience…. Which makes it more difficult to discern how ego intertwines itself into our being.


  11. but i’ve become
    so good at
    myself up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. In my 20s I discovered Jung’s ideas, including the concept of the ego-Self axis…it serves as a scaffolding, I suppose, for all thoughts on these topics I encounter in life. Thanks for your ideas, Val, and for reminding about fun and play…they’re built into it all, aren’t they, but sometimes we’re too busy to notice. Have a wonder-full weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Bee for sharing your insights here. I too like Carl Jung’s approach. There are such interesting interpretations of what “ego” means to us psychologically and spiritually. I feel I’m tapping the surface!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Thanks for writing tjis insightful post, Val. Ego can come as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, good observation. Discernment is needed, and this is often difficult.

    As for battling vs embracing, I agree that suppression is not useful. I have come to think of it more as disregarding. The only thing the ego cannot defend itself against is disregard. That means awareness that it is there, but then not let the ego have its way.
    In practical terms, this means for that I am aware of a fear-based reaction in me. And I can choose to give in and let the ego have its way. Or I can choose not to give in to the fear impulse.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I love this example Karin. I also smiled what I thought … There’s nothing wrong with Wolves clothing. Ego or detachment … The intertwining continues 😌

      Liked by 1 person

  14. You are so wise. I think I have experienced a bit of this embracing/letting go conundrum this week. Hurray!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Ah! Val! I love when I connect to a post because it seems to say exactly what my thoughts are thinking. Yes…the ego has been a huge topic for me of late and your words resonate in a very real way. I adore that you pointed out that we ‘need’ that side as well…yes, balance.
    Thanks so much, Val… have a beautiful Sunday ♡

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Lorrie for joining me in this fascinating place! I hope your weekend has gone well. I was in upstate NY for a wedding … And one up to snow this morning. Scarier than Halloween!


      • Oh, my…VAL!!!! Not snow! This year has gone so fast it is hard to believe it is time for that white stuff again!! 😉
        I can tell you with conviction that I DO NOT MISS IT!! Safe travels my friend. I had a very busy, but nice, weekend ♡

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Very interesting and insightful post Val.
    I think that we need to remember that our ego serve a purpose, to protect us against others abuse of kind souls.
    What I find important is to let go of the past and stop worrying about the future. Both will help us recognize and stop the ego, when it shows its face in not needed situations.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Well said my friend. ❤


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