Getting to Know Ourselves – Without Judgment

This is an updated re-post. Its always worthwhile coming back to the wisdom that supports us on our journey. I hope the classic format will work on your devices!


Looking back on my own journey, I realize that the first step – getting to know myself, was exciting and captivating – as long as I only looked at the things I liked about myself.images

Being an observer of all aspects of ourselves – without judgment – is the hardest step of all.

As a coach, I really wanted to be good at my own personal growth, and was hard on myself when I wasn’t. While I was able to be understanding and compassionate to others, I wasn’t able to give myself that same compassion. I gave myself an A for empathy … but when it came to myself I was a poor C.

This went on for years. I thought I was evolving. Helping and supporting others. Becoming a more caring human being. Becoming more giving…..

…  And then my yoga practice helped me see the truth. I was kidding myself.

Enlightenment cannot happen without being compassionate towards ourselves. Otherwise we continue to do the practice, meditate, read books, take courses, and tell ourselves we are on the path.

The truth is, without self compassion and understanding, you are stuck.  You won’t move forward unless you face reality. Acknowledge the truth of where you are. Get to know yourself with a kind heart. Face the fears and wounds from the past that are sure to come up.

When we get to know our inner selves with kindness and acceptance we can fully embrace our lives and open up to living fully and authentically without fear.

Kitten seeing reflectionGetting real about ourselves is an empowering step on our evolution as human beings. When we accept ourselves just as we are, without judgment – on the yoga mat or off it –  then we find our middle ground.

It took me years to get over this conditioning and to start being kind and accepting of myself.

Its never too late to start on this journey of acceptance and self compassion. The next time you hear your inner critic, ask yourself  

“Is this really the truth or could this be a habit that no longer serves me”?

Then give yourself a big hug 😊

Namaste

35 responses to “Getting to Know Ourselves – Without Judgment”

  1. Sharon Lawrence Avatar
    Sharon Lawrence

    Amen! And my hardest mountain to climb as well.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True for so many of us. Thank you Sharon 💕

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  2. I really appreciate this reminder, Val. For those of us who are ambitious or driven, it is sometimes a challenge to accept ourselves in failure or disappointment, but that’s when self-love is most important. Lovely post, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Jet 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  3. It has taken me a very long time as well, and feel I still have a long way to go-

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Beth.it is a journey for us all 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  4. ins’t having an inner critic a way to help us improve?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jim, that’s what I had thought, but research shows kindness and encouragement – from others and ourselves, produces better results and a happier life. It’s old conditioning from our ego-mind that creates the critic.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. that is good to know, Val… offers a different perspective…

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “Is this really the truth or could this be a habit that no longer serves me”? – This would be my favorite question to live with. Your post is a resonant glimpse into my own journey, and also an important reminder to keep watching our attitude towards ourselves when going through human life things. Self- Love comes before we become all Love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beautifully said PD. Thank you 💕🙏💕

      Liked by 1 person

  6. A welcome reminder, Val! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Eliza 💕

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  7. Empathetic people often struggle with this, I think. As if caring for others matters more. Thanks for the wonderful share and reminder. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Diana. 💕 People who focus on others and pleasing them often are the most self critical. They are looking for external validation and haven’t learned to bring the love and understanding home to themselves. A part still believes they are not worthy. I love Tara Brach’s work on Radical Acceptance.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Beautifully spoken dear lady, that inner truth just waiting to be found 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well put Mark. Thank you 💕💐😍

      Liked by 1 person

  9. As long as we are being critical . . we are looking through the eyes of EGO.

    Spirit just SMILES!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Grinning along with you Nancy 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I can identify with those years, Val, as I’m sure you know

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed! Thank you Derrick 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thanks for this reminder, Val — it’s something I’ve always struggled with and was just thinking about this morning. (Synchronicity!)
    Namaste
    ❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Betty! The best wisdom is always worth repeating 💕

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As I read this the truth of your words swam in my ears to my heart thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  13. These days when the inner critic comes to visit there’s sometimes a sense of something “holding” it in love, allowing it to express its piece, but also seeing that it’s an old pattern that simply isn’t true. It’s a combination of a lot of factors that allows the nervous system to relax and find balance once again. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kathy💛 I too get a sense of duality – being the observer, but also knowing the child who took on the conditioning. Non attachment in a living space brings balance 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  14. So true and beautifully written 🌻

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Such a great reminder, Val. It resonates in a big way! At times I have trouble silencing my inner critic and that is a voice that just won’t shut up. What works for me is to counter that inner voice- that seems to be the only way to shut it up. Thank you for posting. ❤ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing here Cherie 💛🙏💛

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome. 🙂

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About Me

My name is Val Boyko and I live outside of Philadelphia, USA. I’m originally from Scotland and hold dual citizenship. You can take the girl out of Scotland but you can’t take Scotland out of the girl!

This blog came to life one morning in 2013.  I woke up with these words in my mind:  “Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. And find contentment in your Middle Ground.”

Find Your Middle Ground blog started to explore, reflect, ask deep questions, share insights about awakening, and connect with wonderful people like yourself. Thank you for being here and being such an inspiration.