Wishing for Things to be Different

backlit beach clouds dark

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Acceptance of ‘what is’ can be the hardest part of the journey.

Doubts, flaws, mistakes and self absorption are part and parcel of life. Yet, how easy to forget, especially in those times when they overwhelm us and highjack our thinking.

Wishing for things to be different, creates anxiety about whether we have made the right choice, and sets the mind into a spinning spiral of ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s’. It can keep us there for hours, days or a whole lifetime.

We become acutely aware of what is missing and what is wrong. Like a dark cloud across the sun. In our mind we hold that cloud there and push it back towards the sun. We create our own darkness and confusion.

Only when we realize that clouds pass, that the sun is always there, no matter how cloudy the day or how dark the night. Only when we see the bigger picture, can we break free and open once again to acceptance and love.





* Understanding our Pain

My pain is self chosen - by michele cat

My pain is self chosen – by michele cat

We all experience emotional pain such as disappointment, anger and frustration ….. Much of it comes from the struggle when we want things to be different from the way they are.

If only they wouldn’t do that…

If only this never happened…

If only they would leave me alone…

If only … then I could be happy…

I wish I had a spouse like yours, a house like yours, a job like yours … then things would be better…

We learn how to deal with pain when we are very young, and from those around us as we grow up. As adults we continue to deal with it in the same way, until we realize there may be a different way of dealing with it that can lead to real healing and feeling better.

It isn’t good or bad, its all part of the highs and lows of life.

Suffering comes when we add evaluations and judgments to our thinking. We create stories about a situation. Not only does this cause us mental struggle, but it can also show up in our bodies as tension and sometimes physical pain.

This is a powerful excerpt from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Just as the stone of the fruit must break, so that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And if you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy.

If you accept the seasons of your heart, as you have always accepted the four seasons, you would watch with serenity the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore, trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen.