What Makes Someone “Difficult”?

highly sensitive person

source: Pinterest

“What makes someone difficult?   Essentially, it’s their energy. We don’t have to be students of quantum field theory or Buddhist metaphysics to sense how much the energies around us affect our moods and feelings.  What makes someone tough for you to take? Basically, it has to do with how your energies interact with theirs.

Every one of us is at our core an energetic bundle. What we call our personality is actually made up of many layers of energy — soft, tender, vulnerable energies as well as powerful, controlling or prickly energies. We have our wild and gnarly energies, our kindly energies, our free energies and our constricted, contracted ones.

These energies, expressing themselves through our bodies, thoughts, and emotions, and minds, manifest as our specific personality signature at any given moment. What we see on the surface, in someone’s body language and facial expressions, is the sum of the energies that are operating in them. As we speak, its the energy behind our words that most deeply impacts others.

The beginning of change, then, is learning how to recognize and modulate our own energy patterns. The more awareness we have — that is, the more we are able to stand aside and witness our personal energies of thought and feeling and (rather than identifying with them) the easier it is to work with our own energies. This takes practice. Most people don’t start out with a highly developed awareness of their own energy or the way it impacts others — and even fewer of us know how to change the way our energies work together.”

~ Sally Kempton

This except from an article by Sally Kempton at Awkin.org caught my attention. There is wisdom here, and an opportunity to expand our insight into our energies and how they impact us and those around us.

Its easy to sense a “difficult” person, but do you have insight into how we may be “difficult” too? 

And when you realize your energy is impacting others negatively, are you able to modulate your own energy patterns?

I pondered these questions for myself, and came up with a resounding “I’m not sure”.

There is an old saying “It takes one to know one”. We see in others what we like and what we don’t like in ourselves. That difficult person’s energy is connecting with the same energy within ourselves.

Negative interactions become an opportunity to learn more about ourselves, and also to modify our own energy patterns.

Modifying our energy patterns is something that most of us have already experienced as we go through life.

Think of when you are feeling stressed out. What is the best way for you to let it go and feel better? It can be going for a run or a walk in nature, rolling out your yoga mat, reading a book, painting, playing an instrument, journaling, blogging or simply opening the Reader on WordPress.

These practices help the negative energy transform into something positive, so that it moves through you.

Awareness is the first step. Noticing how we are reacting to someone else’s energy, and how it is sparking the same energy within us.
Rather than reacting to what’s “wrong” with them, step back and consider what they may have touched within you. This can give you valuable insight into how you may be also be difficult to others.

 

 

Reflection – What You Resist You Become

 

Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused.

We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.

~ Adyashanti

I heard the other day, someone saying “I am vehemently against people who hold strong beliefs”. This seems to be a good example of what Adyashanti is saying.

The question that also comes to my mind is, “If I am resisting DJT  right now… does this mean I will become more like him?”

Take a moment to think about it. Perhaps you notice how your ego mind wants to dismiss this immediately. Or vehemently defends the idea of resisting.  Fascinating!

What are you resisting and how is this showing up?

May we continue to move forward with an open heart, fierce kindness and a readiness for action.

A battle of egos will never bring peace.

Namaste

 

* Inspiration – Tuning In

tuning in

Source: Google images

When we tune in to our highest self, we become in tune with all those around us.

Our external relationships with people and situations are a reflection of this inner relationship.

So when we notice that life is chaotic, its time to look inside for insight, rather than looking  elsewhere for the answer.
Take a moment to pause and notice your own internal state of being.

Really tune in.

If you are feeling agitated, angry or uncertain,  those around you will reflect that.

Be in harmony, and you create harmony all around you and draw those in harmony towards you.

Find peace within you and others will be drawn to the peace within themselves

Namaste