It’s time to give up the illusion of being perfect and accept our human nature.
“There are no perfect human beings! Persons can be found who are good, very good indeed, in fact, great. There do in fact exist creators, seers, sages, saints, shakers, and movers…even if they are uncommon and do not come by the dozen. And yet these very same people can at times be boring, irritating, petulant, selfish, angry, or depressed. To avoid disillusionment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about it.”
Abraham Maslow from Motivation and Personality
So expect others to have their good days and bad days.
So give yourself a break when you are not feeling on top of the world all the time.
So let go of the illusion – the beliefs about how you “should” be, and how others “should” be.
Accept that life is a series of highs and lows.
And most importantly – be kind towards the parts of you that are in the dark.
Hugs to all parts of you!
Many of us strive to be perfect. We think that if we achieve perfection, then all will be well. We’ll find the confidence and certainty that we yearn for. When we are perfect, others will love us more and we will be happy. We’re so used to driving and pushing forward in our lives.
I see it in some yoga classes where the students are wanting to attain the perfect pose…. whether their body is capable of it or not. Ouch! It can end with physical harm as well as disillusionment.
I see it with some coaching clients who want to find the perfect job, where they have the best supportive boss, do only the things they love to do and there is no conflict. It ends with constantly seeking something better, and ongoing disappointment.
Striving for perfection can be a real burden on our mind, body and spirit.
The key to access our inner wisdom and best self is by becoming present, rather than trying to be perfect.
Think about it for a moment… When we are trying to be perfect we look into the past and tend to judge ourselves for being less than we want to be. We then turn our attention to the future and who we want to become.
And in between, we miss out on living in the present
Instead of striving towards something, we can learn to gently turn our direction into the here and now. It sounds so simple, yet can be hard to do in practice.
As you let go of the tense grip of perfection, can you let yourself release into the present moment?
Are you able to notice your breath, the feelings in your body and the thoughts in your head… just as they are, without judgment?
Can you feel a yearning in your body, mind and spirit as you consider letting go and entering a new place within you that is already perfect?
Notice the soft feeling within you right now…..
And perhaps notice your harsh inner critic who pops up and tells you its a waste of time, or it can’t work for you…..
Or that quieter innocent voice within you who longs to be okay just the way you are…..
Begin the journey to being present more and more every day, by committing to it.
Make it a practice to be present rather than to be perfect.
Middle Ground moments are moments of mindful awareness where thoughts and time are set aside and we connect to our inner sense of being.
It isn’t about what we are doing … its our relationship with what we are doing and how it makes us feel.
Take a moment and recall a time when you felt content and at peace. Instead of focusing on what you were doing, recall the feeling inside. Give it a name.
During the days ahead, whenever you notice becoming stressed or irritated or angry, remember that feeling always lies within you. You can reclaim it for yourself when you practice being present and choose to find your middle ground.
As far as I know there isn’t a Middle Ground Theory …. but I have a couple of ways of looking at it!
The first is the Pendulum of Life:
The pendulum of life often swings from extreme highs to lows. Your middle ground is when it is closest to the ground, instead of being up in the air and out of touch. When you slow down and find your feet, you step on to your middle ground. In the pendulum of life there is always movement.
Take a moment and notice where you might be on life’s pendulum right now.
The second approach I call the Waves of Life:
Sound waves and ocean waves naturally crest and and fall. In the flow of the movement they pass through an undisturbed position. Waves can’t rest here, but we can. We have a choice. We can slow down and not let our emotions and thinking take us on a crazy roller coaster ride.
Most people think they must ride the crest of the waves in order to be happy and try to stay there in order to avoid the toughs. Their middle ground gets overlooked, but its the place when there is no disturbance.
Take a moment and consider your own attitude towards these highs and lows, and the part the middle ground plays in your life.
Please feel free to share your perspective too!
I wanted my first posts to start to explore this journey of connecting to our middle ground….. and hey presto! Coach Michael Neill’s newsletter came into my inbox.
I love Michael’s perspective:
“There is a deeper part of all of us that seems to exist outside of any concerns we may have about our past, present, or future circumstances. Most people seem to experience this part of themselves as a quiet feeling – a sense that all is well and of being deeply connected to the world and the people around them.
In the moments when we are in touch with this deeper self, we have access to an inner wisdom that guides us moment by moment. Life seem simpler and more intuitive then when we’re living out of the suitcase of old ideas and theories inside our heads. Challenges don’t seem so challenging; problems dis-solve before we can solve them; inspired ideas and insights are our constant companions. From this place inside of ourselves, we can and do take on the world, all the while realizing that there’s nowhere we need to go and nothing we need to accomplish to be happy, loved, and whole.”
There are many ways to look at your Middle Ground. Others give it other names … but when you find it you know it, and you experience it in your own way.
“Life is a series of highs and lows. Be grateful for the highs. Be graceful in the lows. Find contentment in your middle ground”
I woke up one morning with these words in my mind. If you are coaching client or are a student in one of my yoga classes, then you’ve probably heard them before.
It is the very essence of my own life. As a coach and yoga teacher, I guide others to find their own middle ground.
In this place we can nourish and replenish ourselves. Feel grounded and strong. Find compassion and peace of mind.
From your middle ground comes personal growth, creativity, courage, and awakening to a new way of living and being in the world.
This blog is a way to share my own experiences, knowledge and resources with others on this path called life.